Forgotten Body
by Downtonix
Summary: After a horrible confession about Jane, Robert and Cora's lives are about to change forever. Will a little miracle make them stronger or tear them apart? How far are evil people willing to go to separate soulmates?
1. Forgotten Body

_A/N: Hello guys! This is my first DA fanfic. I'm a huge Cobert shipper and I just wanted to give them a moment in my fanfics. And yeah,_ _I do not own Downton Abbey, I just own a few OC characters. _

_**First Three Chapters are NOT beta-ed.**_

* * *

"You did what!" Cora said almost yelling surprised at her own tone.

"I just had to tell you. I can't live with this secret anymore, and I'm terribly sorry!" There was some kind of apology in Roberts voice. Cora just stared blankly at him still processing his words. "And I hope one day you will be able to forgive me, but I ensure you that I do not love her. That was just a moment, a brief second of weakness!" Robert continued.

"You cheated on me with the MAID!" Cora yelled this time, fighting back tears.

"I did not cheat on you!" Robert defend himself.

"And how do you call it if it's not cheating!" Cora felt tears streaming down her face. "And you did that while I was deadly sick! I wish I died right there so I do not have to listen this!" She put both of her hands on her face as she tries to cover her tears. She is somehow ashamed. She does not want him to see her weak, especially not now, but those words just broke her heart into pieces.

"Cora, do not say that! I really am sorry! I would never hurt you!" Robert said and take a few steps towards trying to comfort her.

"But you did!" She said avoiding his gaze.

"I love you." He said just above a whisper.

Those words just hurt her even more. "But you didn't remember that when you were kissing her?" She finally looked at him searching for an answer. She is trying to find it, but just couldn't. His crystal blue eyes do not tell her anything. "And what kind of love it is when you have to remember you love somebody, so don't say you love me because you don't!"

"Do not be silly, Cora! Of course I love you, but just look how hard this is for me. I could just remain silent and don't tell you anything, but instead I told you because I don't want secrets between us. And I had a little, just a little hope that you'd understand and not yell at me." Robert looked at his feet.

"How dare you! What should I say! Congratulations Robert, I hardly could wait for you to cheat on me. And don't pretend you're a victim here because you're not! You're a coward!" Cora hardly managed her words. She doesn't know what she's talking. She lost control over herself, but she doesn't regret a thing. "You should be ashamed of yourself!"

"Please, don't make this any harder! I know you're angry and of course, you have every right to be. I don't expect you to forgive me because I can't even forgive myself, but I just want you to understand that I do not love her. I never did and I never will. It was just a moment of weakness. I never had anything serious with her and I immediately told her to leave because I realized my mistake." Robert now told everything that was on his soul. He feels really bad about what he did.

"Just go out! I don't want to see you anymore! Go to your mistress!" Cora shouted loud. "And don't come here, you're not welcomed!" She opened the door waiting for him to leave. Robert knew she needs some space and time to think. There won't be any benefit of talking about this tonight, so he just went out leaving her behind. Hearing door loud hitting behind him, Robert started walking down the hall knowing he's sleeping in guest room this night.

Locking the door behind Cora climbed on her bed. She curled into a fetal position crying her heart out. She was drowning in her own thoughts. _I thought I am a good wife? Perhaps it happened because I could not give him a son and that maid has one. Maybe I am a horrible kisser or lover? Was he even ever truly satisfied with me? Maybe he did that because he isn't happy with me!_ She is crying even harder now. Cora hugged his pillow inhaling his scent what made her sad and happy at the same time. She knows she is going to sleep alone tonight and maybe for the rest of her life. After all these years of marriage this may tear them apart and that thought really scares her, but she can't forgive him what he did, well not yet.

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Okay there is the end of Chapter 1. I really hope you enjoyed! Anyways review the chapter and tell me your thoughts. Criticism is always welcomed. I love you all for reading!


	2. I Wouldn't Be Against Mary

_Thank you so much for your reviews and comments. Robert and Cora are really hard to write, so your comments are a super motivation. Not to mention that I'm in the middle of my finals. This chapter is mostly based on father-daugther relationship. I wanted to show a soft side of Mary and some funny moments between these two._

* * *

 **CHAPTER II**

 _ **I Wouldn't Be Against Mary**_

The light trickled in through the window into Cora's room. Cora was still asleep. She finally found some peace inside her and rested a little bit after everything she heard yesterday. It was a fresh, but rainy morning. She heard the rain as it fell outside the window. It was so soft drizzle and so very shooting. A beautiful silence was unfortunately interrupted by loud knocking on the door.

"My lady." O'Brien spoke softly outside the room. It was almost noon.

Cora did not want to wake up and she hoped that O'Brien would leave her alone. Finally, She opened her sapphire eyes and looked around the room, finding no sign of her husband. It started hitting her like the waves. She began to remember everything what happened last night. _It was not a dream._ She thought sadly.

"My lady! Are you awake?" O'Brien raised her voice this time.

"Now, I am." Cora answered looking at the ceiling, somehow annoyed.

"I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Do you need any..." O'Brien couldn't finish the sentence and Cora already answered.

"No, I do not need anything. Thank you!"

O'Brien was surprised by harsh tone her ladyship answered her. She stood a minute behind the door, but soon she went down in the kitchen. Cora was rolling around the bed trying to get her sleep back, but with no success. She replayed yesterday's conversation in her head and it only caused her a headache. After all she really did not feel very well, so she curled between the sheets and buried her face between the pillows.

Down in the library. Robert was quietly sitting at the desk under the dim light of an antique lamp. Robert is trying to concentrate, but he just can not. His mind is miles away. He wonder what would happened if he decided not to tell his wife. What would happened if Jane never came into their house and at the end why he did it. He really blamed himself for everything. Well, he is the only one that is truly responsible for what happened. He was driven away from his thoughts when he heard the sound of footsteps. Of heels making contact with the wooden floor. He instantly thought it was Cora, but he was somehow disappointed when he saw Mary.

"Papa, where is mama? I haven't seen her all day. She did not come to breakfast nor lunch." Mary said with her well known British accent.

"Oh, she is probably just resting. Well, you can see the weather outside. It's not very cheerful." Robert closed the book he was reading.

"And as well..." Mary stood next to the desk. "I noticed that you slept in a guest room." She added.

"Really, there is nothing on this world you can miss?" Robert made a bitter face expression .

"Well, I learned from the best. Now, tell me, what happened?" She leaned on the edge of the desk, waiting for his response.

"No offense, but it is between your Mama and me." Robert stood up.

"Than at least go and talk to her." Mary said, but still annoyed because he did not tell her what she wanted to know.

"She does not want to see me." He sadly looked at the falling rain outside the window. The rain was music to his ears.

"And how do you know that?" His daughter continued.

"I'm surprised you did not hear that yesterday. She shouted it very loud. I bet everyone in the house heard it. "

"Well, yes I _heard_ some noise, but you know..." Mary awkwardly cleaned her throat, avoiding his gaze. "...who _knows_ what could that be so I wasn't very curious." She said with a chuckle.

"Mary!" Robert immediately turned around looking at his oldest daughter.

"What? It is true!" She said rolling her eyes. "The walls are _very thin_ when it comes to you two!" Mary was laughing now.

"Mary, please! This is serious!" Robert tried to look annoyed, but he could not help and started laughing along with her.

"And by the way if you do not go upstairs I'm going to tell grandma what happened, and you probably do not want that, do you?" Mary commanded and put a smile of victory on her face.

"You really learned from the best!" Robert was really surprised at his daughter's words.

"I can proudly say that I had the best role models as a child and you know I do not say this very often." She took a few steps forward, approaching to her father. "So it is very important for me that you two work this out, because you two are perfect together." Mary put her palm on her father's back, in hope to comfort him. She loves her father very much. You can clearly say that Mary is a daddy's girl and she will always support him before anyone else.

With these words Mary exited the room, leaving her father behind. She was surprised at her own words. Well, usually she is not very caring, but their relationship is something that everyone can learn from including Mary herself. She knows that they can not live without each other and if they divorce over some stupid things it is going to be a disaster for the whole family. Mary silently prayed to God that it does not come to that point.

Robert was still standing next to the window, thinking about Mary's words. She was right, as usual. He felt that he has to talk with his wife as soon as possible. And he could feel concern growing inside of him, because Cora stayed in her room all day long, not showing any signs of life. He will make this right! He has to! For their marriage, for his Cora!

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 _Once again, thank you for reading and for encouraging me! Review because it really means a lot to me and tell me your thoughts on this new chapter! Downton fans are the best. I really enjoy writing for this couple. Have a nice day. Next chapter coming soon xx_


	3. Healer In The Girl

_A/N: This is going to be a strange chapter, but it's important._

* * *

 **CHAPTER III**

 _ **Healer In The Girl**_

Meanwhile Cora caught some sleep...again. Even so very upset she was very tired. She couldn't keep herself awake. Noon passed long time ago and Cora was still asleep. The peaceful moment was interrupted once again by loud knocking on the door.

"My lady, I'm concerned about you. You are in your room all day and you haven't eaten anything." O'Brien was standing outside her bedroom, waiting for a response.

"I'm okay! Just very tired!" Cora added a yawn, still half asleep.

"My lady, can you please unlock the door. I brought you lunch... Well, almost dinner." O'Brien explained, but nervously waiting for a friendly answer. Her ladyship is acting very weird today and to be quite honest Sarah did not like it.

"Lunch? Dinner?" Cora looked in confusion around her bedroom, searching for her cloak. After a minute she opened the door, letting O'Brien inside. "How do you mean lunch? And dinner?"

"You do not know what time it is? It's almost 4pm. You stayed in your room all day long." Sarah put Cora's lunch on nightstand nearby.

"But... How? That impossible! I was just resting and..." Cora couldn't finish the sentence when O'Brien interrupted.

"And you slept all day my lady." O'Brien went on the other side of the room. She removed the curtains and opened the window, letting some fresh air in.

"Oh God!" Cora still looked in awe, but another knock on the door interrupted them. They both turned around seeing Robert standing on the door.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting something." Robert said with sweet smile.

"Excuse me, my lady." O'Brien cleaned her throat and with steady steps went out of the room, leaving the married couple behind.

"I came to talk to you." Robert said standing on the door.

Cora careful looked as O'Brien walked down the hallway and spoke when she couldn't see her anymore. "Well, I have to disagree with you. I _do not_ want to talk to you!" She had tried to slam the door, but Robert stopped it with his feet.

"Let me explain!" He begged outside.

"No! Just go!" Cora yelled at him again.

"Cora, please! I am sorry!" Robert removed his feet and allowed her to slam the door. He knows when she is stubborn, she will continue being stubborn no matter what. "Cora! Let's talk! Let me in. We do not want the servants to hear this." He said whispering next to the door, looking down the hallway.

"And now you are ashamed of your actions Robert Crawley, aren't you?!" She really did not care if anyone could hear their arguing. "Just go now! Just go!"

"If you change your mind... you know where you can find me." He muttered against the door. Now his heart really hurts. His own wife does not want to see him and all because he kissed that damn maid?! While walking down the hall, Robert slowly felt pricking in his eyes. Cora's words just hit him very deep.

On the other side of the door, Cora was sitting down on the floor, placing her back against the door she just slammed. She pulled her knees up her chest and started crying again. She hates that one man has such power over her. She loves him, but what he did. She can not forgive. _I still have some dignity left!_ She thought to herself.

"Mama? Are you in there?" Cora heard soft voice behind the closed door. She stood up and immediately removed her tears with her soft palms. "Mama? Is everything alright?" Sybil's soft voice continued.

"Of course darling. Come in." Cora managed to calm her mind and answer in the best possible voice she could make right now.

Sybil pulled the handle and entered in her parents room. "I was worried about you. I haven't seen you all day." Her youngest daughter said closing the door behind.

"Oh, there's no need to be worried about me. I am perfectly fine." Cora said still not looking at her daughter. Cora must be strong, she did not want her daughter to see how much she is really hurting. She headed forward to sit on luxury armchair. Since it was one of the pieces of furniture Robert and Cora had since they moved in together and would use it to 'squeeze' against each other while talking, reading or _'God knows what else'_ according to Mary's words.

"You did not come down on lunch. Why?" Sybil followed her mother and sat on the armchair beside her.

"I'm not hungry. Besides O'Brien brought me lunch. " Cora answered trying to find a comfortable position.

"Mama, you are not alright. I can see that. Are you sick? You are sick!" Sybil's worried voice spoke up as she put her gently palm on her mothers face. "Do not be sick again, please! That Spanish flu scared us enough."

"Do not worry, my dearest." Cora managed to give her a confident smile. "I am just tired, so very tired these past few days."

Sybil looked around the room and saw a meal O'Brien brought. She gently picked it up and placed it next to her mother. "Come on. Eat something." Sweet Sybil smiled.

"Do I have to?" Cora made a disgusting face expression. She could not eat anything. It is always like that she remembered. Whenever she was upset, angry or excited she could not eat. When she was waiting for Robert to come home from a war she could not even smell food. When she received a letter from her mother in which she said she was coming she could not eat because she was upset. Mrs. Patmore never liked it. She always gives Cora some lecturing over it.

"Of course you have! What kind of question is that?" Sybil commanded holding a spoon. "Come on..." She gave her mother a half smile because it wasn't very often when she is in position of giving her commands.

"You treat me like a child..." Cora rolled her eyes, but she was glad Sybil cared enough to come and check after her.

"I know and I love it!" Sybil said and they both start laughing. She was so glad she made her mother smile again. She do not know the reason her mother is in such a state, but she will find out soon.

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 _Again, thanks for reading. Next few chapters will change Cora's world upside down. On better or worst? Who knows?_


	4. An Angel In The Danger

_Thanks to Gretchie for correcting my grammar and misspelling!_

 _And thank you all for your wonderful comments and messages; they're a great motivation!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER IV**

 _ **An Angel In The Danger**_

"I have to go to London for a couple of days. Can you look after Cora?" Robert asked Mary.

"I'd prefer to call it babysitting." She whispered it to herself, but Robert overheard it anyway. "But why are you going to London?"

"A friend of mine invited me to dinner. I'll bring Edith with me. She is always so fascinated with London." He replied.

"You're going because of mama, aren't you?" Mary questioned and Robert just looked away, avoiding her eyes. She continued. "It's really that bad, huh?"

"Unfortunately, I think it is." He sighed.

"Can you tell me what happened? Maybe I can try to fix it." She offered her help, but she was mostly curious. "It's getting stranger and stranger. You two don't sleep in the same room anymore, don't eat at the same time, avoid each other in the house, she is constantly alone in her bedroom..." Mary wanted to continue, but Robert cut her off

"I kissed another woman!" The words slipped from his mouth so fast that Mary couldn't prepare herself. She couldn't believe what she heard. _My father? Kissed another...? No, it's impossible!_

 _"_ You. Are. Kidding. Me!" She murmured. "You must be kidding me!" She couldn't accept the fact that he really did.

"I'm not very proud of it." He just hoped his daughter wouldn't judge him.

"I didn't see that coming!" Mary was extremely surprised. "I understand why Mama is in such a state now." She carefully studied her father's face.

"We're leaving tomorrow morning. _Early_ in the morning." Robert was ashamed, but he couldn't change the past. "I'm going to tell Edith." He stood up and began to exit Mary's room.

"Papa!" Mary said loudly.

"Yes?" He instantly turned around to face her.

"If you had a chance..." She took a deep breath wondering what he would answer. "Would you sleep with that woman?"

"If I had a chance... I think I would." He pulled the handle and went out.

Mary sat down on her bed in shock. She certainly didn't want and didn't expect that answer.

* * *

The next morning, Robert and Edith were headed to London. Edith was very excited (she didn't know the real reason they were going there), but she wasn't complaining. They checked into the hotel and went sightseeing around the city. Robert wanted to clear his mind and give Cora some space, and to spend some quality time with his daughter. Edith clearly enjoyed it.

Cora woke up and immediately decided that she would take a bath, wear her favorite hairstyle, and ring for O'Brien to come and help her dress. _I'm done with mourning,_ She told herself and went in the washroom to freshen up. When she came out, O'Brien was standing in her bedroom holding a classy dress for her ladyship.

"Are you pleased with this one, my lady?" O'Brien showed her the dress.

"It's stunning!" Cora exclaimed.

* * *

Cora entered the dining room. She found Violet, Mary, and Sybil there. She approached the table and took a seat opposite Mary.

"Good morning, Mama." Sybil and Mary welcomed her.

"Morning, my dearests." She simply replied.

"You're feeling better?" Sybil wore that worried face again.

"Thank God, I am." Cora looked at her youngest daughter and stroked her soft hair.

"I didn't know you were sick." Mary said, looking at the newspapers.

"I wasn't sick, just tired. Anyways, where's your sister? I hope she's not sleeping again." Cora asked looking at two empty seats across the table.

"I'll go and check." Sybil offered, but Mary stopped her.

"She's not in the room." Mary answered.

"Then where is she?" Cora asked.

"You don't know?" Mary noticed that she caught attention of all three women in the room.

"Know what?" Violet added.

"Edith and Papa went to...London. I thought they said goodbye to you" Mary answered and put down the newspapers. "They went today, early in the morning."

"But why?" Sybil asked, curious. "Something happened?"

"He just said a friend invited him to come and he wanted to bring Edith with him. I see no point in that, but that's all I know." Mary took a sip of her orange juice and looked at their faces. Every one of them was surprised. They didn't expect this answer.

"When will they come back?" Cora questioned Mary.

"Papa said in a few days."

"That's very weird, if you ask me." Violet added, looking at Cora's facial expression. Cora was confused.

 _What on earth are they doing in London? Is he seeing someone? What friend? I'm pretty sure I know all of his friends there! And why Edith?_ Cora's mind was racing like crazy.

"I'm surprised he did not tell you." Violet looked at Cora, giving her more pressure.

"Well, why should he? It's not any of my business." She looked at her plate, but she still felt the six pairs of eyes that were looking straight at her.

* * *

After breakfast Sybil asked to talk to Mary privately. They met in the hallway.

"Sybil? What's so important?" Mary raised her eyebrows and looked at her sister.

"What's been happening these past few days? Everyone is acting weird. Especially Mama and Papa." Sybil muttered. "If Mama keeps this up, we're all going to end up orphaned." Sybil made a face.

Mary added a nervous chuckle. "Parents arguing; it happens in the best of the families." She said in her very particular British accent. "Don't worry. Now go and take Granny home. You know she'll complain if no one accompanies her. She always wants company."

"I hope you're right!" Sybil nodded and disappeared, but neither noticed that someone was eavesdropping.

* * *

"Mama, Granny went home." Mary entered the library, taking off her gloves. "I swear, she's becoming more and more demanding each day." She exhaled loudly.

"Finally, you noticed." Cora smiled, sitting on the couch.

"It's a beautiful day! I'm going to take a walk around Downton. Would you like to join me?" Mary approached the table on the other side of the room, poised to write a letter.

"Hmm... Well, why not?" Cora exclaimed and stood up. "I'm just going to take something. I'll be..." Cora felt dizzy and lightheaded all of the sudden. She laid her hand upon her forehead feeling an imminent headache about to strike her.

 _A headache? It's impossible!_

She hurried to speak. "I'll be back in a min..." Another wave of nausea overtook her. It was stronger than before.

 _Sybil was right!_

Cora closed her eyes trying to find relief, but it was impossible. Her sense of balance seemed to be failing as well. For a second she felt the floor swaying beneath her feet.

Hurriedly, she left the library, performing awkward steps to avoid losing her balance.

"Mama?" Mary noticed something was wrong with her mother and immediately followed her.

Her vision suddenly went blurry as she rushed upstairs. She stopped and put her hand on the wall, trying hard to regain her senses.

"Mama! Please don't scare me. Are you alright?" Mary was right behind her.

Cora tried to turn around to look at Mary, but suddenly, all went black. Cora fainted, and Mary reached out to catch her before she got hurt. Thank God Mary caught her mother's head and prevented it from hitting the floor.

"Mama! Mama! Oh my God!" Mary screamed, having no idea what to do. She was the only person on that floor and she didn't want to leave her mother alone. "What am I going to do? What am I going to do?!" Mary searched around looking for someone, still holding Cora's head. "Mr. Carson! O'Brien! Mrs. Hughes! Anna! Anyone!" She screamed, her voice echoing all around the house.

"My lady!" She heard a voice behind her. She turned around.

"Mrs. Hughes! Thank God you're here! Please call for Doctor Clarkson! Now!"

Without another word Mrs. Hughes hurried downstairs, searching for help.

* * *

 _Don't you love a little drama?_

 _Thanks for reading; for your comments, ideas & reviews! _


	5. Rough Beginning

_Thanks to my wonderful beta_ ** _Gretchie!_** _First, I'm sorry you waited SO long_ _but..._ _You will thank me later or maybe you won't hmm..._

 **CHAPTER V**

 _ **Rough Beginning**_

Cora was slowly waking up. She didn't know where she was. Everything around her was still blurry. She heard a voice beside her, but couldn't recognize it.

"My lady? Everything is fine now, just take it easy." Doctor Clarkson said, sitting on the bed next to her.

"What...what happened? Where am I?" Cora was puzzled.

"You are in your bedroom, my ladyship. You fainted and Lady Mary called me." Doctor Clarkson answered, closing his bag. "How are you feeling, my lady?"

"I'm still a little dizzy but my headache is alleviated. That's all, but what's wrong with me? I've been feeling very strange for quite a while." Cora was trying to sit up in her bed. She was still very fragile and in shock.

"There's nothing wrong with you, but I did discover something." Doctor Clarkson explained, looking at Cora.

"What do you mean?" She was totally confused and a little bit scared now.

"I discovered that you're carrying a baby. You're pregnant, my lady!" Doctor smiled, but the smile soon faded when he didn't find any sign of happiness on Cora's face.

"Oh my God..." She murmured. "Are you sure?" She questioned him, trying to avoid the truth.

"Yes, I'm sure! Everything is pointing to pregnancy." Doctor Clarkson stood up, preparing to leave. "Aren't you happy, my lady?"

"I am." She answered simply. "I just wish it happened under different circumstances." She sighed sadly.

"I'm sorry that you feel that way."

"Is the baby alright?" Cora sat back in the bed and ran her hand over her stomach.

"From what I have seen, the baby is in perfect condition." Doctor Clarkson said. "But you still have to look after yourself."

"That's a relief! Do you have any idea how far along I may be?" Cora still questioned. She couldn't believe that she was pregnant, well, not at her age.

"I'd say that you're about seven weeks pregnant. Have you had any signs of morning sickness?"

"Huh... Just unusual tiredness until today."

"Well, it could be from the stress you have been under or you may be one of the lucky few that don't suffer from morning sickness." Doctor explained.

Cora nodded her head. She understood, but she hoped she was one of the lucky few. She remembered what the sickness was like when she was pregnant with the girls. She hated to be ill.

"Thank you Doctor Clarkson."

"Just take it easy from now and you shouldn't have any complications." Doctor smiled at Cora. "Send for me if you need anything." He picked up his bag and headed to the door.

"There's one more thing I'd like to ask you." Cora sighed.

"Go ahead, my lady." He turned around by the door.

"Can this... Can this stay between us? I don't want anyone to know. Not yet, at least."

"I won't tell anyone, my lady, but I'll warn you; it'll start to show very soon."

"Thank you for understanding and unfortunately, I do know."

"I'll tell lady Mary that you've been under stress and that there's no need to be worried."

"I can't thank you enough." Cora smiled.

* * *

"What happened here?" Sybil's sweet voice filled the hallway.

"Mama fainted." Mary said nervously, waiting for the doctor to come out.

"I told her that she's ill! She just doesn't listen!" Sybil murmured. "I hope she's okay."

"I caught her before she hit her head." Mary explained.

"Thank God! Should we call Papa? He needs to know!" That moment, the door opened and both girls turned around.

"Doctor Clarkson!" Mary instantly jumped. "What's wrong with Mama?"

"Oh, nothing's wrong with her ladyship. She's perfectly fine. She was just under a great deal of stress."

"That's a relief!" Both sisters exhaled.

"It is. Just take good care of her and everything should be fine. Send for me if something goes wrong!" Doctor Clarkson commanded.

"Of course!" Mary nodded. "Would you like to join us for dinner?"

"No, no. I appreciate the offer, but there's no need."

"As you wish," Mary added. "Sybil, send for the car to take Dr. Clarkson home."

* * *

Cora heard a knock on the door. She was driven away from her thoughts.

"Come on in." Cora said loudly.

"Mama? Doctor Clarkson said you're alright, but I just wanted to check." Mary entered the room, carefully studying her mother.

"I'm feeling better." Cora answered. "Come here." She patted a spot next to her.

"You really gave us a scare!" Mary complained, and sat next to her.

"Oh, my dearest. I'm sorry." She took Mary's hand.

"Should we call Papa and Edith? They need to know what happened!" Mary was nervous.

"No! I'm alright now. It's nothing serious! We don't need to bother them with trivial things." Cora said quickly. She was trying to look convincing in order to steer Mary away from her secret.

"If you wish." Mary looked away in confusion. "I know what he did. He told me."

"He did?" Cora swallowed hard.

"Yes, and I think it's disgusting, but he made a mistake and he feels really bad about it." Mary noticed how her mother changed facial expressions. Her eyes were filling with tears. It seemed Cora just couldn't stop them from overflowing. "Mama. Please don't cry." Mary opened her arms, enveloping her mother in a hug. She hugged her tightly and caressed her back with her hand. Cora was crying on her shoulder. This was yet another shock for Mary today. She have never seen her mother cry before. And it broke her heart. "Everything will be alright." She managed to say.

"I hope so." Cora sniffed into Mary's shoulder.

"Come here." Mary kissed her mother's forehead. "Go to sleep now. You have to rest." She covered her with a blanked. "Call if you need me. I'll be nearby." She gave her a soft smile.

Mary exited the room and began to think about everything that happened to her today. Her mother fainted and cried on her shoulder, her dad left to London without a explanation and he told her he had kissed another woman. She was very confused. _Is this the end of the Crawley family?_ She sadly thought.

* * *

On the other side of Downton Sarah O'Brien and Thomas Barrow were smoking cigarettes and gossiping.

"Do you know what happened today with her ladyship?" O'Brien asked her younger colleague.

"No, I don't. What happened?" He lit a cigarette.

"Her ladyship fainted. It's no surprise. She hasn't left her room these past few days." O'Brien exhaled a smoke ring.

"Really?" Thomas questioned, waiting for more information.

"Doctor Clarkson was here today. He said it happened because she was under stress, but I don't know what's really bothering her." O'Brien answered.

"Well, I heard something today." Thomas connected to her story.

"What?" Sarah immediately turned around to face him.

"I heard Lady Mary and Lady Sybil talking in the hallway. They were saying something about divorce if Lord and Lady Grantham keep acting like this."

"Hmmm. Interesting." O'Brien wore an impressed face.

"And that's not all. I know why they will divorce and what put Lady Grantham in such a state."

"Come on! Continue! Don't hold me in suspense!"

"I heard the talk between Lady Mary and Lord Grantham. He told her that he kissed another woman. A housemaid, to be exact."

"Well, well... Who would have thought." O'Brien smiled.

"And what's the worst thing I think I know who was that woman." Thomas gave her a moment, but soon they both exchanged devious looks.

"I think we should give an old friend a call!" O'Brien laughed and entered the house, leaving Thomas behind.

* * *

 _This is just the beginning. What do you have in mind? What do you think I have in mind? Oh, I have to confess that I absolutely love cliffhangers!_

 _Thanks for reading! *hugs*_


	6. Obsessed Woman

_**Big thanks** to the best beta evaaa ** Gretchie!**_

 _ **A/N:** This chapter contains a little details that will be very important in the future._

* * *

 **CHAPTER VI**

 _ **Obsessed Woman**_

"Papa called!" Sybil exclaimed. "They will come back tomorrow!"

"Oh really? I hope you didn't tell them what happened to Mama." Mary looked at her younger sister.

"I didn't, but I see no point in keeping it from him. He'll discover what happened eventually." Sybil crossed her arms.

"It's Mama's wish and we'll respect it." Mary explained, a little bit annoyed at Sybil's stubborness.

"Whatever. I'm glad he's coming home. They didn't even say goodbye to each other!" Sybil complained.

"Did he ask about Mama?" Mary curiously asked.

"To be honest, he didn't. He sounded so busy and I could hear someone talking in the background. It was probably Edith." She propped her hand under her chin and thought about it for a moment.

"How strange." Mary added, trying not to sound like she actually cared. That moment, her bedroom door opened.

"I forgot to tell you!" Cora entered the room. "Matthew and Isobel are coming for dinner tonight!"

"Why are you out of your bed?!" Mary and Sybil said in unison.

Cora chuckled. "Doctor Clarkson said it's nothing serious. I'm not ill." She approached them. "But thank you for being so caring."

"Papa left you in one whole piece and when he comes back we'll return you like this." Mary laughed nervously.

"Like what?"

"Like a sick patient." Sybil said in place of Mary.

"Oh stop it!" Cora smiled. "I'm not ill. I've told you, I'm feeling perfectly fine!" She put her hand on the doorknob. "Don't forget about our guests, and don't be late." Cora disappeared.

"Really!" Sybil said, catching Mary's attention. "This middle age crisis is scaring me!"

* * *

Meanwhile, Cora decided to prepare for dinner. She selected a beautiful dress, took a bath, and rang for O'Brien to help her dress. She was feeling wonderful. Except for the fact that she was alone and _pregnant_. She decided she wouldn't tell anyone. Especially not Robert. She looked at her reflection in the mirror. Over the years, she had changed physically, but her personality had stayed the same. Maybe she had even become softer and more caring as she had aged. Cora loved her family very much and she already loved the little one growing inside of her. She covered her swollen stomach with her hand, protecting it. Cora heard a knock on the door and turned around sharply.

"Come in, O'Brien!" Cora commanded.

"You rang, my lady?" O'Brien entered the room.

"Help me dress. Matthew and Isobel are dining with us tonight." Cora smiled.

O'Brien handed her the outfit. "Are you feeling better, my lady?"

"Oh, I'm feeling terrific!" Cora quickly pulled the dress over her head, letting it slide down her body.

"It's stunning, my lady." O'Brien added as she fixed the back.

"I agree. The girls ordered it for my birthday. I have never worn it before." Cora couldn't deny that her daughters did a wonderful job designing it, and Anna had suggested a beautiful fabric.

One little thing caught O'Brien's attention. It was a little tight on the abdomen and didn't seem to fasten all the way even though it had been custom made for Cora. She decided to stay quiet. "Here you go, my lady."

"Thank you O'Brien." Cora picked up her gloves.

"It was my pleasure."

"Oh, one more thing. Tell Mrs. Patmore who's coming so she can be prepared."

"Of course, my lady." O'Brien left the room, leaving Cora alone.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Matthew and Isobel arrived along with Violet. They were all sitting in the dining room, enjoying each other's company.

"Where is His Lordship, if I may ask?" Matthew looked around to see who would give him an answer.

"Papa is in London with Edith." Sybil said quickly.

"Oh, what is the occasion?" He questioned again.

"Truth be told, we have no idea." Violet gave a laugh.

"His friend invited him to dinner, and he wanted to spend a couple of days there." Mary continued the conversation.

"When is Robert coming back?" Cora looked at Mary, nervously waiting for an answer.

"Well, Papa called and he said they'll come back tomorrow." Mary muttered.

"Robert called?" Cora was confused. She didn't know he had called. He hadn't written her a letter or asked to speak with her. They hadn't spoken in almost 4 days.

"Yes! You didn't know?" Sybil had joined the conversation.

"How could I?"

"You _are_ his wife." Violet added haughtily, and Cora responded with an annoyed look.

"I'm not feeling well, if you'd please excuse me." Cora said, and stood up.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Mary asked.

"No, my dearest. Keep our guests company." Cora smiled weakly and walked out.

"You really don't know when to stop." Isobel murmured to Violet.

"I didn't say anything wrong!" Violet defended herself. "Americans are simply too sensitive." She continued. "And it's not my fault their marriage isn't functioning very well lately."

"Granny!" Mary and Sybil both raised their voices at her.

* * *

Down at the kitchen O'Brien and Thomas sat together.

"Did you call her?" Thomas questioned.

"I did." She simply answered.

"And what did she say?" Thomas was impatient.

"She offered to help." O'Brien smirked at him.

"That's wonderful." He smiled. "When will she come?"

"She didn't say. She was very...very mysterious." O'Brien raised her eyebrows curiously.

"Well, I hope she'll come soon."

"But what will we say to her?" O'Brien was a little bit worried. She hadn't thought that far into the future.

"We'll think of something."

"I certainly hope so." Sarah nodded her head.

* * *

Cora snuggled between the sheets. She could hear laughter, talking, and gossip coming from downstairs. She looked at Robert's side of the bed. Empty. She put her palm on his pillow. It was so cold. She was so cold in that enormous bed. Cora was really worried. She hadn't heard anything from him in days and it was killing her.

She put her head on his pillow and rested her arm on her growing belly. She hoped everything would end well between them, but Jane... Oh, _Jane_. Cora couldn't stand that wretched housemaid anymore and she was glad that Jane was gone...forever.

* * *

Around midnight Mr. Carson was making one last inspection of the house. He had to make sure everything was locked so robbers couldn't break in. Burglars were extremely rare, but Carson was a man who would rather be safe than sorry.

He checked the lock on the main door one last time and turned to go to bed. Suddenly, he heard muffled knocking behind him.

"Who is it?" He said loudly, but heard no answer.

"I'm going to ask one more time!" He repeated himself.

"It's me." He heard a voice, thin and in a hushed whisper. It was a voice he recognized.

"It can't be!"

He unlocked the doors and slowly opened them. _It can't be!_ He repeated in his head. Finally, he opened them all the way, spying a familiar figure on the doorstep.

"Dear Lord!"Those were the only words he could manage to say.

"Long time, no see, Mr. Carson." The woman said in a seductive voice.

* * *

 _Not an evil cliffhanger but well, maybe next time I'll be able to write an evil one;)_


	7. Slave's Shadow

_I want to thank you all for all the wonderful support you have given to this story. Your comments are always encouraging and very helpful! Enjoy..._

* * *

 **CHAPTER VII**

 ** _Slave's Shadow_**

"Papa arrived! Papa arrived! Papa arrived!" Young Sybil was running down the stairs. Mary and Cora heard her all the way in the library. Cora shivered a little, but she managed to calm down.

"Are you coming or not?!" Sybil opened the door so she could pop her head in the room.

"Of course." Mary nodded, walking toward the door. She turned, but her mother was still standing in the same spot. "You're not coming?" Mary frowned.

"Just give me a moment." Cora explained.

"Whatever you want." With that, Mary left.

Cora placed her hand on her still little belly. _I have to tell him. We have another chance for an heir!_ She smiled at her own thoughts, then inhaled deeply and went to face him.

Edith came out of the car first, then Robert followed her.

"What were you up to in London?" Sybil questioned curiously. "Come on, tell us!"

"Oh, we did everything! London is an extremely beautiful city. I had never noticed it before." Edith said proudly.

"Well, we're glad you two finally came back." Mary gave them a look.

"And we're happy to see you." Robert kissed his daughters. Then he moved to stand in front of his wife. "I hope they have taken good care of you." He smiled and took her hand in his.

"Surprisingly, they did." She gave him a smile.

* * *

"So... Anything interesting happen while we were away?" Robert asked his daughters.

"Nothing interesting! Oh, I almost forgot! Mama was..." Sybil was ready to continue, but an elbow in the ribs from Mary prevented her from doing so.

"Mama was what?" Robert looked at his youngest with a worried look.

"Mama was... Well, you know..." She was trying to think of a word to say, but her mind was blank. There was an uncomfortable silence.

"Demanding!" Mary nervously added a word into the conversation, breaking the silence between them.

"Yes! Demanding! Ha-ha you know, like always! So demanding!" Sybil faked a laugh.

Robert looked at them,trying to figure out why they were acting so strange, but was not successful.

"I'm going to see Cora. You two have fun with...with whatever you were doing." He smiled and went upstairs.

"You almost ruined it!" Mary raised her voice at her younger sister.

"Not on purpose! I'm sorry!" Sybil managed to get out of trouble.

"If we say she passed out he'll be worried and she clearly said she doesn't want..." Mary heard a noise behind her and stopped to turn around. Her jaw dropped when she saw Jane standing behind her, holding a tool for cleaning the floor.

"Jane!" Sybil exclaimed. "You're back!"

"It seems I am!" Jane politely smiled.

"I'm so glad!" She smiled and approached her. "Why did you even left us?"

"Oh I just..." Jane tried to think about some lie, but Sybil cut her of.

"It doesn't matter now, but please stay this time."

"If Lady and Lord Grantham let me I will." Jane looked nervous all of the sudden.

"Mama will definitely let you stay!" Sybil said.

"Don't be so sure!" Mary murmured and gave Jane an annoyed look.

"Why did you say that?" Sybil turned around to look at her sister.

"I don't know. Just a feeling." Mary went out of the room. She still didn't believe her eyes. _Jane... In Downton! Again! But why? After everything! How can she? What will Mama say? She will be devastated!_ Mary couldn't help but think about every little thing.

* * *

Robert took a deep breath before entering their bedroom. He didn't know if Cora wanted to see him or not. _Did she forgive me? How will she react?_ _There is only one way to find out!_ He pushed the door open and walked inside. She was sitting beside her makeup table, looking at herself in the mirror. _Crikey_ _! She's beautiful!_

"Can I come in?" He asked, waiting for her answer.

"You're already inside." She chuckled.

He smiled and approached his wife. He stood behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.

"So are we alright?" Robert asked nervously.

"I think we are." She put her palm on his hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Come here." He smiled at her reflection.

She thought about it for a second, but soon she gently stood up. Robert put his arms around her and she put her hands on his back. Cora closed her eyes, loving the feeling of him against her. She missed him. So very much. Especially now, she needed him more than ever.

"It seems you've missed me." He chuckled.

"Of course I did. You just left, and I won't forget that!" She complained.

"And I'm sorry about that, but I did it so you could have time to yourself to think about things and make up your mind." He said, and put his free hand on her cheek. "And we still have to talk!"

"But what you did is just..." She wanted to continue, but he stopped her before they started a new fight.

"Just let me explain."

"I will give you a minute, no more." Cora said, waiting for an explanation.

"Okay." Robert chuckled at her stubbornness, but happy that she agreed to listen to him. "I told you what happened between me and Jane. Nothing serious! I swear! I never loved her and never will." He put his hand on Cora's cheek, forcing her to look at him. "I love and will only ever love you! And I need you to believe me." He looked straight into her crystal blue eyes. He knew she was weak when it came to eye contact. "I know it's hard, and maybe I broke our trust, but I will never stop loving you." He put his hand on her back, pulling her close to him. His other hand was still on her cheek. "Give me one more chance." He said, just above a whisper when their lips crushed. In slow motion they were kissing passionately.

Cora pulled away breathless, looking at her husband. "But..." She gripped the hand that was touching her cheek. "I hope that everything will be alright between us, just give me a little more time." Cora smiled and her eyes softened.

"Of course, take as much time as you need." Robert kissed her forehead.

"And there is something I have to say to you." Cora smiled from ear to ear. She couldn't wait for his reaction when she told him the news.

"Go ahead." He stroked her soft hair.

"Well... It's a surprise to me too. While you were away I found out..." She didn't even know how to say it. The words had been cleared from her vocabulary when she had miscarried her son.

That moment, the door opened and Mary barged in. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything," she said, seeing that they were embracing.

"Mary!" Cora raised her voice. "Do you know how to knock?"

"I have very important news." Mary explained.

"Surely it can wait." Robert said calmly.

"No, it can't! Something terrible happened..." Mary took a deep breath. "Jane is back!"

Both of her parents stared blankly at her. They couldn't believe what they jad heard. "If this is one of your jokes, believe me it's not funny." Cora murmured.

"Oh believe me, I'm not joking." Mary made a face. "She's downstairs talking to Sybil." Her British accent was extremely prominent.

"Oh my Lord!" Robert managed to say. "This can't be true."

"But what does she want?" Cora questioned.

"I don't know. We found her cleaning downstairs."

"Who let her in the house?" Cora couldn't calm herself.

Mary thought for a second. "Well, probably Carson or Mrs. Hughes."

"Call them... Immediately! Tell them to come to the library!" Cora said as Mary disappeared. She felt Robert's hand on her shoulder. She pulled away.

"You better not have anything to do with this!" She gave him a furious look and stormed out of the room.

Robert just rolled his eyes in despair. _Really? We finally reconcile and this had to happen!_ He followed her, of course. He always did.

 _For better or for worse._

* * *

 _Hmm... Another intrigue is almost here. Is Cora overacting again or not? Is that even healthy for her in this condition?_ _What the hack does Jane wants? How will Robert and Cora's relationship progress in the future, any suggestions? x_


	8. Sapphire Eyes

**Big thanks** _to_ ** _Gretchie_** _for taking your time and correcting this one!_

 _A little bit longer update so grab a snack... maybe a drink too. And... Don't get mad at me after this one *wicked grin*_

* * *

 **CHAPTER VIII**

 _ **Sapphire Eyes**_

Cora was angry, sad and frustrated "What is she doing here?" She asked, demanding an answer from Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes. An uncomfortable silence was followed, one that intensified the atmosphere of the room.

"I didn't let her in the house. I didn't know she was back." Mrs. Hughes defended herself.

"I did." Mr. Carson admitted.

His words felt like a bucket of ice water to everyone.

"She asked me for mercy, and I didn't have the heart to reject her." He looked at Cora and Robert, who stood directly behind his wife, but Mr. Carson was too embarrassed to look at Mrs. Hughes. Instead he fixed his eyes at the floor.

"You should have asked us first." Cora said in a harsh tone. "She can't come back whenever she wants!"

"I know my lady, but please talk with her. Jane will explain."

"Mrs. Hughes go and call ... _Jane..._ You don't have to stay here. You don't have to listen to this." Cora watched Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes as they left the library. She knew she'd face Jane in a few minutes, and it made her incredibly nervous. Cora didn't want to admit it, but she was scared. She would see the woman that had kissed her husband. _Maybe she's still in love with him. What if she came back to Downton just to get revenge or blackmail us or something even worse?! What is she doing here?_

"I'm really sorry for everything, your Ladyship. It's my fault, please don't blame Mr. Carson!" Cora heard a voice behind her. It was Jane's. She froze, not moving a muscle. Maybe it was out of fear. Maybe it was out of courage She didn't know.

"Why did you come back?" The words sprung from Cora's lips without her mind's consent.

"I have an explanation, just listen. Please." Jane begged, moving to stand in front of Cora. Jane looked straight into Cora's eyes. _Those_ _sapphire_ eyes... Those crystal blue eyes Robert chose over her own.

"I'd really like to hear it." Cora said coldly, showing no trace of emotion or feeling on her features.

"I left without an explanation, you know that, but the most important thing is..." Jane paused for effect, taking a deep breath. "I came back because I need money."

Cora just rolled her eyes. "Really?! That's your big explanation!" She gave Robert a look and headed towards the door.

"Yes! I need money, but you didn't hear why." Jane raised her voice, projecting so Cora could hear from the other sid of the room.

"You think I care?" She raised her eyebrows and her voice. "I want you to leave!"

"Don't be so harsh, Cora!" Robert bellowed. "Let the woman speak."

"Now you're defending her! After everything! I can't believe it! I wouldnn't be so surprised if you were the one who brought her back!" She inhaled deeply, fighting the tears. "Only God knows why you were in London and with who! This is it! I've had it!" Cora felt a growing pain in her stomach, but ignored it when she heard Robert's voice.

"Stop talking nonsense! Ask Edith!" Robert answered in the same tone as Cora. The two had completely forgotten that Jane was standing in the room as well.

"My son is on his deathbed!" Jane finally spoke up and caught their attention."Of course I don't expect either of you to feel sorry! You don't care, I know!" Jane's eyes filled with tears.

The words caught Cora's attention. She turned around to look at the housemaid, but still did not open her mouth.

"He will..." Jane finally managed to say. "He will die... Soon... Very soon... And this little time that he has left I want to make the most beautiful. I want to give him what he deserves." Jane was crying now, tears slowly going down her cheeks. "I just wanted to earn money so I can afford what he wants."

"Oh my goodness." Robert said first.

"And I'm sorry you two are arguing because of me." Jane wiped away her tears. "Please. Let me stay just one week. Just a week." She begged again.

"Of course you can stay. We'll tell Mrs. Hughes to prepare a room for you." Robert offered a smile to comfort Jane.

"We can just give her money, you know." Cora said, crossing her arms over her chest. She still couldn't believe that Roberts ex-mistress would sleep under the same roof as her. _Why is he doing this to me?_

 _"_ No, I can't take charity. I can't." Jane raised her hands in denial.

 _What's the difference... You're used to it! First take my husband's heart, and then our money! Once a whore, always a whore!_ Cora was shocked at her own thoughts. She had never thought about anyone that way.

"It's your wish. If you want money, we'll give you something for your son, and if you refuse to accept it ... You can stay." Robert said, approaching his wife who stood by the door. "We'll respect that, won't we Cora?" He pleaded for an answer.

 _Why is he acting like that? He still has feelings for her?!_ Her mind was racing like crazy. She couldn't control her own thoughts, but she answered him. "Of course we will." She even gave a bitter smile. "But only one week!"

"Thank you, thank you!" Jane smiled. "This really means a lot to me... And to my son."

"You can go now." Robert muttered and opened the door for her. Without a word she exited, leaving Cora and Robert behind in the library.

"What are you doing? I can't believe you let her stay! You still have feelings for her, don't you?" Cora shouted loudly. Again she felt muffled pain in her abdomen, but didn't pay it much attention.

"Don't start this again! I explained everything to you!" Robert tried to calm her down.

"Then why are you doing this? You have no idea how hard this is for me!" Cora questioned, with tears in her eyes.

"I'd never leave a woman in such a condition. She's desperate. She'll lose her son. She doesn't have anyone to look after her." Robert told her, trying to get her to understand his viewpoint. He opened his arms to her, moving closer. He hugged her and she gripped his suit jacket with her fists. Robert could hear her cry softly on his shoulder.

"Shh.. Don't cry, my dear." He wrapped his arms tighter around Cora.

"What is this woman doing to us?" She sniffed. "If she stays more than a week I'm leaving this house!"

"You won't even see her. She will be downstairs at all times. And if you see her just don't pay attention, because I can only see you." He pulled away to look at her. "Deal?"

"Deal." She smiled weakly and nodded. "I'm going upstairs, my ankles are killing me. I think I'll take a nap." She was about to go when he pulled her close and kissed her once more. She was caught off guard, but remained, loving the sensation.

* * *

"How did it go?" O'Brien asked, watching Jane enter the servant's hall.

"Very well. I can't believe they're letting me stay." She grinned wickedly.

"What did you say to them?" O'Brien smirked, mirroring Jane.

"I lied. I told them that I need money because my son is ...deathly ill." Jane sat down next to O'Brien.

"Dear Lord, you really don't have a limit." O'Brien look at Jane in disbelief.

"You wanted me to lie! I obeyed." Jane explained. "I can only stay here for a week." She rolled her eyes.

"You'll collect some money, when the week is up, escape." O'Brien explained.

"I have some unfinished business here." Jane thought about the past and everything that happened to her in this house.

"You'll have time for all of that." Sarah encouraged.

"I hope so." She answered simply.

"How did her ladyship react when she saw you?" O'Brien was curious.

"Oh she wasn't happy at all. She's changed. The last time I saw her she was deathly ill, but she was still so caring and sweet. Today she was extremely nervous and frustrated."

"She's been like that for a while now. From what I've heard, their marriage isn't on stable ground."

"Really, huh?" Jane said, trying to learn more. Maybe there was a possibility for her.

"And she gained some weight lately. Don't be surprised if she randomly yells at you." O'Brien chuckled.

"How do you know this?"

"I'm her lady's maid. I help her dress everyday! I just noticed it last week. I was trying to fasten her dress, but it was too tight around. I didn't want to say anything and end up like you!" O'Brien's lips curled up into a sarcastic smile.

"Very funny." Jane said, faking a laugh.

"Anyways, don't do anything stupid that would put me or Thomas in danger." O'Brien pointed her index finger as a warning.

"I won't. I'll stick around and make their lives miserable... For a week, at least." Jane said proudly.

"Good. It seems that you have learned something. Now go... I don't want anyone to see us together." With that, O'Brien stood up and left the room.

Jane was left sitting alone at the huge table. She thought about all the days she had spent here as a maid. She really had fallen in love

with Robert, and she wasn't sure of her present feeling... Maybe she's still in love with him. She had quit her job for his sake and safety.

And all of the sudden it hit her. The sentences she heard earlier today... " _If we say she passed out he'll be worried" "she gained some weight" "it was too tight around..."_

 _"_ Of course." Jane murmured. "Her mood swings, changes and special wishes... It all makes sense!" She whispered frantically to herself. "Oh dear Lord! No, no, no, no, no!" She repeated the murmurings over and over again and stood up angrily. "It can't be!" She started walking up and down the length of the room. "She can't be pregnant! Robert can't have a child! Not with her! That child cannot be born! I must do something!" Jane felt genuine tears, unlike the ones she had produced for her employer's sake earlier. She felt them coming down her cheeks and she suddenly knew... She knew she was still in love. "She can't be pregnant with _his_ child! She's not supposed to be!" Jane put her palm over her mouth to muffle her sobs. She closed her eyes, forcing the tears to the edge of her lids and down her cheeks. "I was... I was supposed to carry his heir!"

* * *

 _Yes, O'Brien and Thomas need a slap for calling Jane and Robert needs a good slap for letting her stay._

 _I think some might be confused after reading this update, but everything will be explained. *giggles*_

 _Happy Friday!_


	9. The Most Precious Gift

_Thank you **Gretchie** for being such a wonderful beta!_

 _Now ready to give Robert a slap or maybe not? You decide... Enjoy this one_

* * *

 **CHAPTER IX**

 _ **The Most Precious Gift**_

The tall grandfather clock in their bedroom seemed to tick faster every minute. Every hour its clanking bells announced the passing time, and every hour Cora wished she could grab a hammer and smash the antique into pieces. She didn't want to get up. Robert had held her in his arms all night. She hadn't felt that safe and secure in years. Cora thought about the past few weeks. Cora loved Robert too dearly to ever leave him, but if Jane tried something she would be forced to leave. Not for her, but for the baby. But on the other hand, Downton was her house, her home. Jane was ...nobody.

Cora slowly moved her free hand over her baby bump. It was still so very little, but she was scared of the pain she felt yesterday. She was scared that she could lose another baby. That thought terrified her. If that happened she didn't even want to think how much she'd be crushed, mentally and emotionally.

"You're awake?" Robert said in a sleepy voice. It was a sunny summer morning at Downton and he was hugging the love of his life. What could possibly go wrong?

"I just woke up." Cora turned around and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I've missed this bed." He said, still dizzy from a long night's sleep.

"I've missed us sleeping together, too." She smiled at him.

"I was actually talking about the mattress. The one in the dressing room was torture on my back." Robert joked with her.

Cora grabbed a pillow and whacked Robert with it. Just then, she heard the clock. Defeated by the passing time, they both sighed and exchanged tired looks.

"You'll pay later." Cora stood up from their bed and went to her vanity table. "You know who's coming today?" She said and put some balm on her palms.

"You didn't mention anyone." He was still in the bed, too lazy to get up.

"Evelyn Napier." She pronounced the name in her distinct American accent. "Son and heir of Viscount."

"That's nice. He and Mary can spend some more time together." Robert finally went into the washroom to fresh up.

"I hope they do." She smiled, but immediately recalled the last time he was here. It wasn't a pretty memory. That scene with Pamuk was horrible. _How Mary could do such a thing?_ Well, at least Cora wouldn't be surprised if Mary ' _kills_ ' somebody this time.

Cora stood up and nervously brushed out the wrinkles from her dress before walking to stand before the mirror. _Should I tell him now? It's a good opportunity, isn't it?_ She was nervous because she had no idea how he would react to the news. _What if he doesn't want another child? Is he going to be angry?_ She thought about it, but soon she pushed that though out of her mind. _He will be happy. Well I hope..._ She sighed at her own thoughts.

During their last trip to America, her daughters had bought her two beautiful dresses. One in a very soft shade of pink Sybil had chosen (only Sybil and God knew the reason behind the color), and a dark blue one that Mary and Edith agreed was Cora's best color because of her sapphire eyes.

She had chosen to wear the navy blue dress to greet their guests that afternoon. Soon, she decided to put all her worries behind and was wondering as one of her hands went to caress her protruding baby belly, _Would her baby's eyes be blue too?_

In that moment, Robert appeared by the door, admiring the enchanting view. He moved behind her and and tenderly slid his arms around her waist to hug her against him. He buried his face in the side of her neck, relishing her natural fragrance as she closed her eyes, enjoying that little moment.

"I have something to say to you."

"You're scaring me now." There was a worried look on his face.

"It's not bad news. Well I hope you don't find it so." She looked at his reflection in the mirror.

"I'm listening."

She took a deep breath. "I wanted to tell you the other day, but Mary interrupted us."

"I remember." He looked at his wife, patiently waiting.

"Well... I am... I am..." She once again took a deep breath and said it as fast as she could "Pregnant!"

Robert just stared in disbelief at the mirror, looking at Cora's face.

"You must be kidding me." The words slipped from his mouth almost like a whisper, but his lips curled into a smile. "You're joking me, aren't you? Is it because of what I said about the mattress? I was joking, you know."

Cora grabbed the arms that were around her waist and placed it on her swollen belly. "I really am!" She smiled. "I'm not joking."

"What?" Robert stared at her through the mirror. His eyes were wide open as he moved his gaze from her face to her belly.

"I found out when you were in London." She looked at the expression on his face. It was priceless.

"Are we really expecting a baby?" He smiled, still not believing what was happening at that very moment. She turned around and he hugged her even tighter and started kissing her beautiful face. Cora giggled, trying hard not to melt in his arms.

"Wait, are you truly happy?" She paused, and frowned.

"Of course I am! We're having a child!" He exclaimed happily.

"I thought... I thought you didn't want it, I thought..." Her words tangled together in a big mess.

"How could you think I didn't want another child?" Robert questioned her. He was shocked at Cora's words.

"Because we're not young anymore Robert." She explained.

"That's not true!"

"Having a baby at my age... It's not easy and it might be dangerous." She swallowed hard.

"I don't want anything bad happen to you or the baby." He kissed her hands. "Did you talk with the doctor?"

"I did. He said that the baby is perfectly fine. There shouldn't be any complications, but I'm always a little bit skeptic, you know." Cora said as she felt his hand on her stomach.

"Don't be! I'll be with you all the time. It will be different." He encouraged.

"You know, I thought the pregnancy news would have split us."

"Never. You're stuck with me, Mrs. Crawley." He kissed her softly and they both smiled. "You should have told me earlier!" He cupped her face with his hands and looked at her blue eyes.

"I wanted to, but you know what happened, so..."

"You couldn't make me happier!" Robert kissed his wife. "I can't believe we got another chance! I thought it was impossible!"

"And so did I until now." She chuckled at how surprised he still looked.

"How about we tell everyone tonight. It's a perfect opportunity. Mama will be there, Evelyn and the girls, even Matthew and Isobel. Everybody." Robert stated, still holding Cora in his arms.

Cora pushed away. "I don't know."

"If you're not comfortable with it, we don't have to, but they'll probably notice soon." Robert looked at his wife. She was lost in her own thoughts. She was thinking about every possibility and how their family would react to the news.

"Alright." She gave up, tilting her head.

"If you only knew how much I love you..." He kissed her forehead.

"I hope you'll love my mood swings too" Cora chuckled.

"What's the difference from before?" She smacked his shoulder. "Hey, I'm joking!"

At that moment, the clanking bells of the grandfather clock announced the arrival of noon. They both just exchanged looks and went down the stairs.

* * *

That night everyone had fun. Evelyn entertained the girls with his dramatic stories. Matthew talked with Robert and Cora about _important_ things and at the end Isobel and Violet were, like always, simply picking on each other. Everyone was having fun until Robert rose from his seat and made a toast in honor of his wife.

"I'd like to thank you Evelyn for being our guest tonight, along with Matthew and Isobel, but I'd like to use this opportunity to say one more thing..." He raised his wine glass. "Cora and I are expecting a child." He proudly said and took a sip of his wine.

All eyes were fixed on Robert. Everyone was still processing his words. They first looked at Robert, then at Cora, then Robert again, and back to Cora.

"Mama, is this true?" Mary broke the silence first in the room.

"It is." Cora smiled and everybody started to congratulate them. Mary and Edith were still in shock from the news, but Sybil was already very happy.

"Will it be a boy?" Sybil curiously asked her parents.

"Well... We don't know." Cora was surprised at that question, but pleasantly surprised. She hadn't really thought about it, but it would be nice if it happened to be a boy. "For now, we only care that it's healthy."

"Oh, I know it's a boy. Oh my goodness, we'll get a brother!" Sybil exclaimed, bursting with happiness.

"Sybil, we don't know yet." Edith said, laughing at Sybil's excitement.

"Congratulations Lord and Lady Grantham. I wish you all the best." Evelyn Napier said with a joyful smile across his face.

By the end of the dinner Matthew, Isobel and Violet congratulated them as well. Of course the night didn't pass without some of Violet's derogatory comments, but the mood around the table was untouched by it.

* * *

Down in the kitchen Mr. Carson brought the happy news, well, not happy for everyone. Jane was trying to fight back tears. There came a point where she couldn't listen to it anymore and went in her room. O'Brien followed her, of course. Sarah knew that Jane was capable of doing stupid things out of jealousy.

"Whatever are you going to do, stop it. You're angry now, wait a little bit." Sarah tried to calm Jane and stop her from doing something stupid.

"No! I won't." She angrily shouted at O'Brien. "What does he think? That he can have me, love me, and then just like that, get rid of me? Oh well... Good luck with that!"

"Don't do anything stupid! They'll know it's you." Sarah was frustrated.

"If you keep your mouth shut, they won't know." Jane was rummaging among her things like she was trying to find something. Soon she found it and a wicked grin crept along her face.

"What's that?" O'Brien asked when she saw a little black bottle inside Jane's hands.

"Would you believe that only two drops of this will kill a horse? You can't even imagine what the whole bottle will do to a human." Jane was gripping the little black bottle in her hands.

"You have clearly lost your mind!"

"I came here with a plan, and when you called me, you knew exactly what I was capable of and what I was going to do!" Jane turned to face Sarah.

"Believe me, I didn't think you would be going this far. Killing her Ladyship... Oh my Lord!" O'Brien put her palm over her mouth.

"No, no." Jane laughed. "I'm not going to kill her, I'm not that cruel. I want to see her in pain. I want to see her suffer. She will lose everything and everyone, one by one. What she loves the most will be gone overnight, just like that." Jane explained her crazy plan to O'Brien as she shook the bottle through the air.

"So... You're going to kill the baby?" O'Brien remembered what she had done the last time and she wasn't going to allow that to happen again.

"Yes!" Jane answered. "Cora will be devastated, won't she?"

"That baby isn't responsible for anything that happened to you. You can't do that!" O'Brien was nervous as hell now.

"And my son isn't responsible, but he still doesn't have a life like this. He will never have what that baby will have and it's not fair."

"There's a lot of another ways to get your revenge, but this isn't the way!" O'Brien almost begged Jane to stop her plan.

"This is exactly the way and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it." With those words she pushed O'Brien aside and stormed out of the room. Sarah was dumbstruck. _I can't let this happen! Not again! I regret what I did to Lady Grantham every day and I can't have this on my conscience too... No, no... This won't happen!_

She ran after her, but by the time she reached the kitchen it was too late. She saw Jane leaning on the kitchen counter, pushing the empty bottle back into her pocket.

"You didn't!" She stared blankly at her.

"Oh, I did." Jane smiled. "I spilled it all over her food... Her favourite food. I know she can't resist it."

 _Dear Lord give me strength!_ O'Brien repeated in her head over and over again. She hoped, she still had time to stop that food from arriving.

* * *

 _Drama is everywhere! Oh, my lovely cliffhangers! Woah... Jane is really serious about her intentions! Her madness is getting out of control. I hope this chapter wasn't too dramatic for you;)_


	10. It's not over!

_Again, thank you **Gretchie** for correcting my messy grammar. I was raised under 3 languages and until now I'm struggling with that._

 _Anyways... Gosh I've gotten into a big one, still I'll try to do my best._

 _Ready? Here we go:_

* * *

 **CHAPTER X**

 ** _It's not over!_**

O'Brien had to do something about it. She couldn't let this happen, well, not again. She would never forgive herself. Her mind was racing like crazy. _Thomas... Thomas! He must deliver it, right? He's bringing food!_ She moved from that spot she was standing on, in hope to save her ladyship. She took fast steps upstairs. She knew she can't go there. Especially not when they had guests, but she didn't care. Sarah hoped that she'd find Thomas somewhere in the hallways, but no sign of him. Her steps became faster and more intensive. The time was running out. She started running forward, but the hallway was empty. She could hear laud talk coming from the dining room. _I can't go there! Not now. Not like this._

And in that moment she heart the most familiar voice behind her. She turned around as fast as she could.

"What are you doing here? You're not allowed!" Thomas frowned at her.

"Oh thank goodness you're here!" She took a deep breath. "Where is that plate you brought from the kitchen?" She said it so fast that he could barely understand her.

"I brought what?... What?!" He looked at her ridiculously, having no idea about what she was talking about.

"The food! For them! The dinner that Mrs. Patmore made!" Sarah was had never before been nervous like this. She couldn't form a proper sentence.

"Huh? I guess it's on the table." He chuckled, still confused at her behavior.

"No! No! That's not funny!" She said and pushed him into the door of the dining room. "Go in there and bring it back! She can't eat that!"

"Are you crazy? I can't go in there and just _take it back_!"

"Believe me, I'm as crazy as Jane! You can and you will! Come on... GO!" She almost screamed at him.

"Jane? What is going on here?" He made a face.

"I will explain later! Just go and get it! I don't want Mr. Carson to see us here!" She pushed him harder into the door. He didn't have any other choice so he opened it and burst inside the room.

 _If I get fired, I'll definitely bring her with me!_ He thought and approached to the table. _I'm going to take it and just disappear._ He hoped that nobody would pay attention to him. He stood behind Lady Grantham and Evelyn Napier. Thomas slowly slipped his hand between their seats and reached the table, swiftly grabbing the plate.

"What are you doing Thomas?" Lady Grantham asked with a confused smile.

"Oh... Just..." His mind blanked. Thomas couldn't think of an excuse. "I was simply..." He continued. "Mrs. Patmore said... To bring it down..." Breaking into a cold sweat, Thomas nervously looked around the room, trying to come up with a good excuse while those two crystal blue eyes stared straight at him. "...because... because it's not good enough."

"It's perfect. There's no need." Cora shook her head in disagreement and placed a fork above it. She wanted to taste the food.

 _Oh my goodness! What now?_ "No, my lady!" Thomas put his palm beneath her fork. _What am I doing?! I'm so fired!_ Thomas thought to himself. "She insists. You... You know Mrs. Patmore, I have to obey." Thomas smiled so Cora would concede. Out of the corner of his eye Thomas could see Mr. Carson glaring at him, embarrassed.

"If she really insists... take it." Cora gave him an approving nod.

"Thank you, my lady." Thomas took the plate as quickly as he could and he went out of the room unnoticed. When he opened the door he found O'Brien in the hallway. She was nibbling her nails.

"Thank Heavens!" She immediately took the plate from his hands. "I have to get rid of this."

"Now can you tell me why I almost lost my job?" He looked at her, frustrated.

"Jane! It's all because of Jane!" O'Brien raised her head to look at the young man.

" _Jane?"_ He repeated after her.

"Yes, Jane! She poisoned all of this food. She wanted her ladyship to lose the baby. She's gone crazy. You know...The forgotten love between Jane and Lord Grantham."

"I can't believe that she's capable of doing something like this!" He looked at her in disbelief.

"She needs help!" O'Brien muttered. "But it's also our fault, we invited her here."

"But we didn't know that she'll go this far. She's only been here for a day!"

"Anyway. Thank you for saving Lady Grantham." Sarah smiled and went down the hallway.

"Of course."

* * *

Down in the kitchen, O'Brien threw all the food away. Sarah was feeling brave and proud because she had saved her ladyship, but she was feeling empty and sad at the same time. She was so sorry that she had invited Jane back here. She had to live with the devil for the rest of the week. _What's next?_ O'Brien wondered. Her conscience didn't give her any peace. _If it wasn't for me, she wouldn't have miscarried the first baby. It would've all turned out differently._

 _"_ So... You saved her, I see... How extraordinarily clever of you!" Jane's voice filled the empty kitchen. "I must say, I'm impressed."

"Leave her alone." Sarah turned around to face the young woman. "She's not responsible for anything that happened to you!" The room quickly filled with tension.

"She's the only one responsible for everything! I told you. I have some unfinished business here and you obviously are sabotaging it." Jane said with anger in her voice.

"That's not the wayto go! I already told you that!" O'Brien raised her voice, hoping that this time Jane would listen to her.

"Maybe you saved her this time, but you can't always be her guardian angel, can you?" Jane smiled wickedly and disappeared, leaving O'Brien in a mess.

While walking down the hall to her room Jane thought about Cora. _How much luck can this woman have? It's so unfair!_ _The poison didn't work, but something else will. I'll find a solution._ Jane crossed her arms thinking deeply. Soon the idea hit her. _Oh my goodness!_ Jane smiled from ear to ear. _Why_ _didn't I think about that before?! O'Brien did it before and they had no idea that she was responsible, so maybe this time it'll be the same. They will just think that history repeated itself... Oh, I'm a genius!_ Jane let out a chuckle.

* * *

On the other side of the house, Mary was walking upstairs. After the dinner she had showed Evelyn to his room and now she wanted to exchange a few words with her mother after the totally unexpected news. Mary felt somewhat guilty. She didn't want her mother to think that she's wasn't happy about the baby. She was just caught off guard.

Once she had climbed all the way up, Mary stood in front of her parent's room. Breathing heavily, she knocked softly on the wooden door. She opened the door once she heard a tiny voice telling her to come in.

She found her mother sitting on the armchair nearby, reading a book.

"Mary, come here." Cora patted the armchair right next to her.

"I wanted to talk with you." Mary sat next to her mother, leaving the door open.

"About what?" Cora questioned and closed her book and placed it in her lap.

"About today's news." Mary said looking at Cora.

"Huh... Go ahead." Cora didn't know if Mary was happy, sad, angry or frustrated. Mary's face didn't reveal any kind of feelings.

"You know... I am happy, really truly happy. I was just surprised so I didn't say anything about it and I didn't want you to feel like I'm upset or something..." Mary nervously rubbed her hands.

"I know. You have always been like that, showing no emotion, since you were a child." Cora smiled at her eldest daughter.

"I want you to know that I'm happy if we get a sister or..." Mary heard a voice behind her and stopped short.

"Sister?" Sybil's voice echoed through the house. "Who said it's a _she_?!"

Mary and Cora couldn't help but laugh at Sybil's excitement and expectations about getting a brother.

* * *

 _So... O'Brien saved Cora... this time *_ _cough* okay... no spoilers for you.._

 _Thanks for reading! Comments, reviews and complains are always welcome; in any size and any language._

 _Have a hopeless romantic day!_


	11. Farewell, My Love

_Gretchie! Thank you for burning my grammatical errors! __And thanks to you, awesome reader for continuing to read and review this story, you make my day!_

 _First of all I'm sorry you waited so long, but I'll make it up to you with this one... Or maybe you'll wish I didn't update. Secondly this is a long chapter! So grab a drink, snack and maybe a tissue too... I'm crossing my fingers you won't find this chapter too crazy!_ _And please, don't hate me after this update ;)_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XI**

 _ **Farewell, My Love**_

 _If anyone desires a wish to come true they must first capture a butterfly and whisper their wish to it. Since a butterfly can make no sound, the butterfly can not reveal the wish to anyone, but the Great Spirit who hears and sees all._

 _In gratitude for giving the beautiful butterfly it's freedom, the Great Spirit always grants the wish. The wish will be taken to the Heavens and be granted._

 _ **~ Native American Indian Legend ~**_

It was a peaceful day at Downton. The weather was mostly cloudy, but a few rays of sunlight were peeking through the clouds. Everyone seemed to be calm. Robert, Evelyn and Mary went in the town. Anthony and Edith went riding horses around Downton and young Sybil stayed at home. Keeping, never boring, company to her mother.

They were sitting in the library. The walls of the high ceilinged room were completely covered by tall shelves which contained thousands of books. Sybil was standing high atop one of the library ladders, her eyes looking for a special title.

"Do you think Mary likes Evelyn Napier?" Cora questioned, sitting against soft pillows on the sofa. She raised her gaze from the book she held in her arms to look at Sybil, who was still trying to find a perfect novel.

"You know Mary. She's complicated, but for sure they look good as a couple!" Finally, Sybil found a book that caught her attention. She took it out and wiped away the dust.

"She has to marry someone...soon. I'd recommend she'd pick a man herself rather than have Papa do it." Cora smiled, knowing how horrible Robert was at making decisions. "But..." Cora continued with a grin on her face. "What about you, Sybil? Anyone on your mind?"

"No... No!" Sybil raised her hand. "Don't even start. You have Mary and Edith to marry off first. I'm perfectly happy by myself and I don't need _any...one_." Sybil looked down at her mother and smiled softly. She was still standing on the ladders, holding a book. The illustration on the book caught her attention. It seemed to be some kind of a monster. _Greek mythology... Maybe?_ She didn't know, but it definitely wasn't her thing. Sybil frowned and placed it back on the shelf.

"Fine!" Cora made a face, looking at Sybil still high on the ladder. Cora distracted herself by immersing herself in the book Sybil had given her. Cora was beginning to be captivated by the novel when unexpectedly, she felt a poke in her womb.

The book in her hands slid down onto her lap when that little poke was followed by a swirl inside her. Her hands immediately flew to her abdomen. The sensation was too familiar, too shocking to be ignored... _And she felt it again._ She looked down at her stomach as her hands felt a new swirl. It felt like a little butterfly moving inside. It was the first time she had felt her baby move. The feeling was magnificent.

"Mama? Is everything alright?" Sybil asked, when she saw her mother holding her hands on her stomach, but she didn't get an answer. "Is the baby alright?" She instantly jumped down from the ladders and sat next to Cora.

Cora took Sybil's palm and placed it on her stomach. "Do you feel it? Or am I just imagining things?" She said still shocked and touched by the unexpected movement.

"Oh my goodness!" Sybil's eyes lit up. She have never felt a baby moving before. It was a special memory to her.

In that special moment, Jane entered the library to bring them tea. She was astonished when she saw them on the sofa, Sybil's hand still on Cora's belly. Jane felt anger coursing through her veins. Cora looked so happy it was disgusting. Jane lowered her gaze and fixed her eyes on Cora's belly. _That baby is supposed to be mine. Mine and Robert's!_ She felt a single tear trailing down her face. She immediately wiped it away and got her feelings under control. _It will be all over soon!_ Jane took a deep breath and smiled at her evil idea.

"What is he doing in there I wonder?" Sybil giggled and burst into happiness again, not noticing that Jane was approaching them.

" _He?_ " Cora raised her eyebrows at Sybil. "Again Sybil... We _do not_ know yet." Cora said with a half-smile. Her daughter was so convinced that it was a boy that it was getting really funny. Sybil was sometimes so stubborn.

Their conversation was interrupted when they heard Jane placing the a platter on the table. Cora turned her head, the smile on her face. It faded as soon as she saw Jane standing next to her.

"Thank you, Jane." Sybil's cute voice spoke.

"It's my pleasure." She answered. "Do you want anything else, Lady Grantham?" Jane smiled at Cora.

"No... No. That will be all." Cora managed to say, but the smile on Jane's face killed her inside and she was sure that was Jane's intention from the beginning. The tension between Cora and Jane could be cut with a knife.

"If you need anything, just ring." With that Jane left the room. She didn't want her anger to show. She couldn't give Cora that pleasure, could she?

"She's so sweet." Sybil picked up her cup of tea.

"Indeed." Cora frowned. "Sybil! Don't drink that. Put it down." She commanded.

"What? Why?" Sybil looked at her mother, confused.

"Just don't drink that."

"Alright." Sybil was surprised at her mothers reaction. She slowly put the cup of tea on the table. She didn't know the reason, but she had to obey.

"That's better." Cora smiled at her.

"What's gotten into you?" Sybil raised her eyebrow.

"Better to be safe than sorry." Cora explained to her youngest daughter. "Do you know when will Papa come back?"

"He said that he might be late for dinner." Sybil still looked at the cup of tea. Sybil had always yearned for what was forbidden.

"Don't look at that." Cora focused her eyes on the book and was lost in the romantic novel.

* * *

"Where did she put it?" Jane muttered to herself. The kitchen wasn't her usual territory so she didn't know where anything was. "Where is it?" Jane hissed.

"Where is what?" Mrs. Patmore stood behind her. She was looking at the young woman. Jane had already made a mess in the kitchen.

"I'm trying to find a bottle olive oil. Can you help me?" Jane made an angelic face.

"Of course, but why do you need it?" Mrs. Patmore reached out and opened one of the many cupboards in the kitchen.

"Oh... Just for... Well... I..." Jane scratched her neck. That was her habit when she lied to someone. "I cut myself and I heard it's good to put an olive oil on the wound."

"Hm... Interesting." Mrs. Patmore handed her a bottle.

"Thank you Mrs. Patmore! You definitely saved me." Jane exclaimed.

"Oh, sure I did." Mrs. Patmore gave her a smile.

* * *

O'Brien was standing by the window. She was waiting for his Lordship to come back from town. She had to do something about Jane. They were in danger. Cora was in danger and the baby, oh... As much as O'Brien wanted to help Cora, the baby was a bigger priority. Sarah have never had a child of her own, so maybe that was a reason she felt that she must do something to protect Cora's. Especially after the last incident.

This was the first time O'Brien wasn't thinking only of herself, but of others too. She could just let them die. She had already saved someone's life and that had fulfilled her. But this time, Sarah had an earnest desire to help.

Her eyes saw bright lights. A car was approaching and she could tell Lord Grantham was a passenger. Sarah went upstairs, unnoticed by her colleagues. Of course she tried to avoid Jane as much as possible. That woman was a devil. Pure evil.

Upstairs in the hallway O'Brien waited for his Lordship. Finally, she saw him coming.

"May I have a word with you, my lord?" O'Brien asked kindly.

"Of course, O'Brien. What's bothering you?" He stood in front of her, waiting for a response.

"Jane... It's Jane." O'Brien looked at the tall man.

" _Jane?_ " Robert was confused. "What about Jane?"

"I know it's not my place to say this, but I think you should have her leave." O'Brien hoped that Robert would understand her. It wasn't easy to say. She couldn't just tell him that Jane wanted to poison his wife and unborn child. He'd kill Jane. Sarah wanted Jane out of the house, but she didn't want her dead.

"Yes, you're right! It's not your place to say." With that Robert went upstairs to see his wife, leaving O'Brien behind.

 _I knew he wouldn't listen, but at least I tried!_ Sarah was disappointed. She thought maybe, just maybe, he would listen to her, but unfortunately that didn't happen. She didn't want to, but she had to choose between Jane, or Cora and the baby. She couldn't save them all. At the end of the day someone would have to pay the price.

* * *

A loud knock on the door forced Cora to turn around. She saw him. The love of her life.

"I'm home." He said when he saw her. Cora was sitting on their bed. Her palm was pressed against her forehead.

"Are you alright? Cora!" He immediately sat next to her, taking the hand that was resting on her lap.

"Just a little dizzy," She chuckled. "You know... It's completely normal." Cora didn't want to worry him.

"I really hope so. You would tell me if something was wrong, right?" He kissed her hand.

"You know I'm a terrible liar." Cora looked at him.

"I know." Robert smiled at her and went in his dressing room to change for dinner. "Anything interesting happen while we were away?"

"No, not really." Cora pulled on her gloves. "Oh I forgot. Actually, something very wonderful happened!"

"What is it?" He raised his voice so Cora could hear him.

"I'll tell you when you come in here." She didn't want to yell so everyone in the house could hear their private conversation.

In just a few minutes he stood in their bedroom. He went in front of the mirror. His eyes travelled from the knot on his neck to the reflection in the mirror, seeking the beautiful woman sitting far behind on the bed. He lost interest in the tie and his eyes were glued to the image of his wife.

"Do you need help with that?" His thoughts were interrupted by her angelic voice. The amused look on her face opened his eyes to the horrible double knot he had made out of the expensive tie.

"I got it." Robert began to untie it, but Cora was already standing before him, her delicate hands talking over it. It felt nice to have her close again.

"There." Cora smiled at her efforts. "You look somewhat decent now." She brushed the top of his elegant shirt with both hands to smooth it. His hands cupped hers against his chest.

"There was something you wanted to tell me?" He looked at her closely.

"Yes. It was a pleasant surprise." She smiled when she remembered what had happened. "I felt our baby's first kick today. It was stunning."

"Dear Lord, I can't believe I missed that." Robert felt extreme happiness and sadness at the same time.

"Oh it'll happen a lot, don't worry." She comforted him. "You never know when it can happen. It was a surprise to me." Cora smiled a little, gently releasing her hands from his touch. "Let's go downstairs, we don't want to be late."

* * *

After dinner, Cora straight to her bedroom under the pretense that she was tired, leaving the rest of her family downstairs. And she was tired. She just couldn't stand the noise. Of course, Violet attributed it to her weak American blood. _How sensitive Americans are!_

O'Brien waited outside the dining room. She wanted to try and and talk with Robert again about what Jane tried to do and what she was capable of. She had thought about it and finally decided. _Jane must leave._ She turned her head and looked down the hallway when she heard a noise. It was Jane. _Of course, who else could it be?_

"What are you doing here?" Sarah slowly studied the woman's actions. Jane was holding a bucket of water and a broom.

"Not your business." Jane snapped at her and headed up the stairs.

O'Brien rolled her eyes. _Jane is so...Urgh. It doesn't matter._ In that moment the door opened. It was Robert. He had planned to go upstairs, but O'Brien stopped him.

"O'Brien?" Robert said, suprised. "You, again? I certainly hope you have something better to say than in our previous conversation."

"I do. I really do, but can we continue this conversation somewhere private?" She stood fearlessly in front of him. Sarah was determined.

"That doesn't sound very good." He moved from where he stood and headed towards the library, gesturing for her to follow.

"Believe me my lord, it's not." Sarah followed his steps down the hall.

* * *

Above them, on the second floor Jane was mopping and cleaning. She knew very well that after she had completed her task she had to disappear as quickly as possible. With the plan, she was going to have everything or nothing at all. There was no in between. To be quite honest, she was afraid, too. _What if something goes wrong? What if someone thwarts my plan? After this night, what will happen with me?_ Jane had tons of questions going through her mind, but she didn't have an answer for anyone of them.

Her mind paused when she stood at the top of the stairs. _So...this is it? The big ending huh?_ She sighed and shivered. Jane looked once again at the empty hallway. She leaned over the railing and looked down the stairs just to make sure nobody was coming up the stairs. If a nosy footman or maid came up, it would be the end of her plan.

 _Alright. Everything is clear, no voices, no echoes coming from anywhere. No sign of anybody._ Jane slowly moved a bucket of water so it wouldn't make make any noise. She prayed to God that Cora wouldn't open the door to her bedroom, the bedroom that overlooked the stairs. Walking around very carefully, she knelt on the first step. Grabbing a cloth, she soaked it in the water and started to wet the floor.

 _I just hope somebody else doesn't slip on this_. Jane continued mopping the floor. When she was satisfied with the amount of water, she stood up. Tossing a cloth away, she moved around it slowly, trying not to slip.

Jane pulled out a box from her apron pocket. In it, she had stashed tacks, bits of glass, and other sharp objects. The objects were small enough that they wouldn't be noticed under a pair of shoes, but if it touched skin it would be a different story. Jane scattered the pieces down the top half of the staircase.

 _So I'm sure the water and tacks should be good enough, but better be safe._ Jane took a few steps backwards and produced a bottle of olive oil. Opening it, she coated the top of the stairs and the edge of the railing in it. _Dangerous combination._ Jane smiled. _I should get lost before anyone sees me here. So... let's hope this works._

* * *

"She tried what?" Robert yelled at O'Brien in the library. The glass of brandy in his hands sloshed over onto the floor as he paced angrily. "Do you know what you just said?" He repeated.

"I'm very well aware of my words, my lord." Sarah tried to maintain a confident look, but the atmosphere in the room was too intense to stay calm.

"You are blaming Jane for trying to poison my wife and my unborn child. Have you lost your mind?" He raised his voice once again, looking straight into O'Brien's eyes.

"I saved her Ladyship once, but I'm not always around. I'm simply saying that it's dangerous to keep her here. If this was her first move, only God knows what she'll try to do next. I don't anything bad to happen to her Ladyship." O'Brien took a deep breath.

"I'm sure there is a reasonable explanation. Jane is not like that!" Robert refused to believe that Jane would ever do anything bad. "Are you willing to say all of this in front of Cora and Jane?" He frowned at O'Brien, testing her.

"I will repeat every single word I said to you. I stand by my words. And if you doubt my truthfulness you can ask Thomas." Sarah crossed her arms. A wave of courage had suddenly hit her.

"Fine!" He nodded. "Let's call Cora and see what is she going to say about this preposterous story of yours." They both stormed out of the room and marched upstairs.

Everything was peaceful and relaxed, until Robert's harsh words ripped through the quiet. "Cora! _Cora_!" His voice carried through the house and echoed off of the huge walls around them. He had just reached the top of the stairs when he turned behind him to face O'Brien.

"You still stand by your story?" He questioned her.

"I'm not lying, my lord. I just want to protect them." Sarah looked at his eyes. They were normally a light blue, but then, they had turned to a stormy grey.

A moment later, Cora opened the door. She didn't step out when she saw O'Brien and Robert standing on the stairs. Judging by Roberts shouting moments before, she assumed they were arguing, about Lord knows what. To be honest, she was confused.

"Yes?" Cora raised her eyebrows, still clutching the doorknob from inside of the room. She was wearing a white nightgown that accented her curves.

"Cora. O'Brien has something to say to you." Robert exhaled harshly, trying to calm down when he saw her.

"It's not good news, I suppose." She gave a weak smile when she saw their face expressions. "Fine. I'm coming." With that Cora stepped outside her room and took a few steps toward the staircase.

Her foot touched the mixture above the steps. Before she could realize it, she found herself falling. Time seemed to slow, and she could see the confusion, and then panic on Robert's and O'Brien's faces. Before anyone knew it, she was halfway down the staircase. Cora dragged her hands up in front of her face to protect her. Her stomach churned over, slammed into a step, and she felt an incredible pain spreading rapidly through her body. Each bump she felt something sharp cut into her skin. She tumbled down half the flight of stairs before coming to a stop at the landing. Her body was screaming from the pain and she felt like she had been stung all over her body. She moved one of her hands to her stomach while she still had some strength in them. She felt dizzy and the room started to spin.

She saw Robert and O'Brien kneeling beside her, their faces blurry. Robert screamed her name, his hands cradling her head. O'Brien tried to position her body in the most comfortable position possible.

"Heavens!" O'Brien whispered when she removed her hand from Cora's motionless body. Scattered on her nightgown were steadily growing drops of blood from various places. But the biggest source came from her lower abdomen. She immediately looked at Robert's face. He first looked at O'Brien and saw her eyes filled with tears. Then he realized what was happening. He looked down at Cora's still form and saw blood coming from her pregnant belly.

"No! O'Brien call the doctor. IMMEDIATELY!" He screamed so loud the whole house seemed to shake. O'Brien disappeared in the blink of an eye. Robert was still holding Cora's head in his lap. Her eyelids were just barely open. "Cora! Stay with me, please." He begged her.

When she lifted her gaze to her husband's face, she saw him crying, tears running down his red cheeks. She wasn't stupid, she knew what was happening. "I'm sorry, Robert." Cora muttered, and her eyelids grew slowly heavier.

* * *

 _Any thoughts? Do you want to smash me like Cora wanted the grandfather clock? Oh, I hope you don't.._


	12. Fighter

This chapter was edited by my temporary beta ** The Yankee Countess**. **Thank You SO very much!**

Hopefully questions I left unanswered in last chapter will be answered in this one.

Have fun...

* * *

 **CHAPTER XII**

 _ **Fighter**_

The whole of Downton was in shock and silence after the accident. The Crawley family didn't dare to make any noise or conversation downstairs. All the servants were silent. Even Thomas was feeling heartbroken after the unexpected event. Thomas saved the baby's life once and maybe because of that, he felt so empty. It wasn't like the first time Cora lost the baby. He sat at the table with his other colleagues. He raised his gaze and looked at O'Brien, who sat across him. Her eyes were red from crying. She didn't go to sleep the whole night. To be quite honest, nobody slept that night.

The Crawley's bedroom was quiet; no sounds were coming from the inside. Robert pressed his lips against Cora's forehead, leaving a soft kiss. He was hoped to see her eyes flutter open and be able to admire her beautiful gaze, but it didn't happen.

Cora was sleeping against the soft pillows on their bed. And it didn't surprise him. Not after what he had witnessed. She hit her head very hard and her whole body was weak. It had been a long night, one of the longest they ever had.

"When will she wake up?" Robert asked Doctor Clarkson who stood beside him. Robert took her hand in his. Removing the fabric of her nightgown, he could have seen the purple bruises and wounds all around her hand.

"Her Ladyship really hit her head hard. She should wake up soon, but I can't promise that she'll stay awake for a long time. She has to regain her energy," the doctor explained, and removed her caramel hair to show Robert the bruises and cuts on her forehead. "She has a couple of these bruises and cuts on her thighs and on the left side of her hip too. Also, Lady Grantham has a great many wounds and scars on and under her ribs. I cleaned and disinfected all of them and I'm sure it's going to heal soon"

This was really hard for Robert to watch. Seeing her like this tore his heart into pieces. Dark circles under her eyes, purple bruises, cuts, scars and wounds all around her body, made him aware of the reality.

The doctor sat on the armchair nearby. Robert was sitting on the bed next to his wife. Watching her sleep and hearing her even breathing calmed and relaxed him a little bit.

"Her Ladyship has to rest now; no walking for a couple of days, as that can cause more bleeding. She will probably have a headache when she wakes up. Her bruises and wounds will heal with time, but I think that she'll be emotionally unstable for a few days. This was a pure shock for her and she needs you now Milord, more than ever," Doctor Clarkson said, looking at a concerned Robert. "And..." Clarkson took a deep breath before speaking again. "I would prefer _you_ to tell your wife about what happened when she wakes up. I think it's better to hear it from you Milord, than from me."

"Of course," Robert sighed sadly, and put his palm across his eyes, trying hard to hide his tears. "I'll look after her. I'll protect her." He squeezed her hand carefully, trying hard not to touch any of the bruises around it.

"I'll come to check how she's doing every day until her condition becomes more stable." The doctor packed his bag and stood up. "And of course, she mustn't stress. If she does...it's going to be a fatal flaw."

Robert let go of his wife's hand and stood up to escort Clarkson. "Thank you for everything, Doctor."

"I would only like to say that Lady Grantham had unbelievable luck after that fall. It could ended much worse." The doctor shook Robert's hand. "And I want you to know, Robert, that this hit me too. I consider you and Lady Grantham as very good friends and I know how hard this is for you." Clarkson squeezed Robert's shoulder, giving him courage.

"We consider you as our friend too. You saved us multiple times. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done for us."

"That's what friends do." Clarkson smiled and left. Robert returned to the room, and heard a tiny voice behind him calling his name. He instantly went by her side.

"I'm so glad you're awake," Robert looked at her eyes. The pair of crystal blue eyes that used to be bright like the sea were now slowly turning into the color of dirty ashes mixed with water. Her face showed no emotion, no expression, but her eyes revealed sadness.

"I would rather not be," Cora said in a raspy voice as she tried to sit up against the pillows. The pain in her ribs was horrible. It felt like somebody had beaten her badly. When she moved the rest of her body, the pain was unbearable. Muscle aches filled her body.

"Hey, easy! Don't force yourself, and don't you ever say that again!" Robert softly caressed the soft skin of her face with the back of his fingers. Only God knew how deeply he loved this woman and how stricken he would be if he lost her.

"I'm so very sorry!" Cora's voice hitched and a single crystal tear rolled down her cheek. She completely broke in front of him. "I made the same mistake twice. Two damn times!" Cora managed to say again through her sobs. Her eyes and voice betrayed her, and she covered her face as tears rolled down her cheeks in two rivers. Cora couldn't look at Robert. Not after everything that had happened. "I can't go through this all over again. I just can't." Her sobs became louder, tears uncontrollably streaming down her face. "I lost... I lost our baby! It's all my fault! I'm so sorry!"

In that moment Robert pushed her body against his into a tight hug. His eyes prickled from seeing her in this condition. "Cora, listen to me. Firstly, calm down, and you didn't..." Robert was unable to finish the sentence when Cora's sobs interrupted him.

"I just felt our baby moving around and now I killed it. I'm such a horrible mother!" Cora pressed her forehead on his shoulder. Her tears soaked his suit jacked very fast. She drowned in her own silent screams.

Robert heard her silently crying on his shoulder. "You're definitely NOT a horrible mother!" He backed away and took her red face in his hands. "And you said the baby will move a lot so I can't wait to feel it's next kick!"

Cora confusingly stared at him. His sentence didn't make any sense. His voice echoed in her head. She felt like she couldn't speak. No sound coming out of her mouth. Nothing, just deaf silence. Seconds felt like minutes, but she managed to say a few words after she recovered from his sentence.

"What?" Tears slipped down from her eyes.

"The doctor said that the baby is...fine for now, but the risk is still very, very high." His words caught Cora's attention and the most spellbinding blue eyes in the world wrapped him with tired gaze. Those eyes. _Those_ bright blue eyes were finally staring at him again.

"How's that possible?" Her lip quivered.

"When you fell, your hands mitigated a fall and that saved our baby. You didn't kill it, you _saved_ it, Cora." He smiled at her and pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"But all that blood..." Cora still couldn't believe what he had just said.

"Yes…you bled on the inside, but the miscarriage didn't start just then. Clarkson came on time so your condition wasn't critical. Thank Heavens, at the end both of you are fine." He pulled her closer once again and tightly embraced her.

Cora simply stared off into space, too stunned to speak. _Could this be true?_

"Are you completely sure that everything is fine? I remember I hit it... really hard." This time Cora broke the hug and looked at her husband. "You don't have to lie to me. It's only going to be worse later." She wiped away her tears.

"It's our little fighter. You can already see it." Robert watched as his wife smiled. Her smile was something he lived for. Watching her smile made him warm from the inside.

"Fighter, huh?" Her cheeks got that pink tone that Robert adored.

"Doctor Clarkson said, and I quote, 'that the baby is protected like a fish in a fishbowl'." Cora let out a weak chuckle that instantly reminded her about the pain she felt in her ribs, but finally Robert managed to calm her a little bit. "I'm going down to tell them that you and our little miracle are alright. I'll be back in a minute." Robert slowly leant forward, his hand brushing the hair out of Cora's face and in an instant his lips were on hers. Her lips were dry, but still so soft and pleasant.

"Please, come back soon." Cora broke the kiss and ran her palm along his cheek, feeling his warmth.

"Always." He smiled at her. It was just a simple quirk of his lips lifting at the sides to add a circle to his face. He covered her weak body with a blanket, just to make sure she was warm.

Leaving Cora alone in the room, he also left her with her wandering thoughts. Placing the ivory skin of her face gently onto the pillow, she let her thoughts run wild along her mind.

 _How lucky I was? If that had happened again, I... I don't know how I would survive losing another baby. It would definitely have killed me emotionally._ Cora protectively wrapped her right hand around her belly. _My fighter, huh?_ She smiled into the pillow. _But how did that water even get on the floor? And right in front of my bedroom door?_ Her eyelids closed over her sapphire eyes and her thoughts still wandered around in the darkness. _I should have been more careful. I would never forgive myself if something actually happened._ Cora didn't have any more strength or energy. The tiredness just took over; she was still very weak and she drifted away in her sleep.

* * *

Quiet sobs could be heard, coming from the library as Robert walked down the stairs. Poor Sybil was crying her eyes out, sitting on the sofa nearby. Edith was caressing her back with her hand.

"Everything's going to be alright." Edith didn't know what to say to her younger sister. How to comfort her? They were all heartbroken and still in shock from an unpleasant event.

"Sybil, please, don't cry any more. This is hard for everyone," Mary muttered, performing nervous steps around the room. Matthew was by her side all the time.

"I think we should write Martha a letter to inform her about everything that's been going on," Isobel considered her thought with the rest of her family.

"Oh, great!" Violet sighed. "We really need her here." She added a sarcastic laugh.

"She's her mother. Of course we need her, and Cora needs her the most," Isobel fought Violet. Sometimes... Or well, _most of the time_ , Violet was being real harsh and rude, but Isobel knew how much this whole situation with Cora actually touched her. Violet was broken on the inside. Of course, she would never admit it, but you could see it in her behavior.

"I know she's her mother, but we'll first consider your thought with Cora. If she wants her to come, then _fine_." Violet rolled her eyes.

"You think Cora is capable of speaking or thinking in this situation? She's probably mentally and emotionally crushed!" Isobel turned her head to face Violet who nervously looked down at the floor beneath her feet.

"She should be more careful! That's not only her child she's carrying! How could she be so selfish!?" Violet hissed at Isobel. Everyone in the room went quiet. They couldn't believe what Violet had just said.

Isobel's jaw dropped when she heard Violet. "And what if Cora lost the baby? What if it was a boy, an heir of Downton?" Those words caught Violet's attention. Her eyes were wide open and she rose, her gaze fixed at Isobel. "Have you ever imagined how hard this is for Cora? She has already been through this once and what do you think, how's she going to go through this again?" Isobel raised her voice at the woman across from her. Violet just remained silent. "Of course, you don't know, because you never experienced it! You can't say those things and you can't judge just like that!"

The unpleasant conversation came to a stop when Robert opened the big wooden door and entered the library to join the rest of his family. He found them standing on different places all around the room. Sybil was the first one who caught Robert's attention.

"Sybil, darling!" Robert said with a voice full of concern and everyone instantly turned their heads to look at him.

"Papa!" Sybil rose from her seat. She was the only one brave enough to ask him anything. The others froze and stared. They didn't dare to ask. "Papa..." Sybil stood in front of him. Her green eyes were red from all that crying. Her cheeks had also turned red.

"Come here, darling." Robert offered her his hand and they went to sit on the sofa nearby.

"How's Mama?" Sybil's conceded. She still held her father's hand.

"Mama is..." Robert felt that everyone in the room had fixed their eyes and attention at him. "...quite alright. She has a lot of bruises, wounds and cuts, but the doctor said it should heal with time." He smiled at his youngest daughter. His words were a relief for everyone.

"And what about the baby?" Sybil's eyes met his. She was trying to find an answer in his deep blue eyes.

"The baby survived the fall, but it's still in very critical condition." Robert watched how Sybil's beautiful smile crept across her angelic face.

"That's great news!" Mary smiled and exhaled sharply, feeling relief inside her chest. "Can we go and see her?" Mary added shortly after.

"Let her Ladyship rest a little bit," Isobel gave Mary a warm smile. "It's a big shock after all."

"Yes, I think that's the best idea." Robert nodded and stood up, ready to leave. "But you can come after lunch and keep her company. You know how much she hates to be lonely." He felt like he couldn't speak anymore. Robert was tired as well. He just wanted to go and watch his wife.

Robert headed downstairs, towards the kitchen. He had to talk with someone. He still denied it; he couldn't accept the fact that _someone_ was capable of doing such a thing. And she's a mother too... _What was going on?_ How was she going to explain what she did? _Will she deny it or simply admit it?_

* * *

 _Do you think Martha will come at Downton? Violet is being a little unfeeling. What will happen with Jane? Did Jane just signed her capital punishment?_

 _Hope you enjoyed it. Comments and complaints are always appreciated. Again, thanks for reading. x_


	13. Secrets? Secrets

Thank you **The Yankee Countess** for correcting this one.

'The Earth swore to Heaven that all secrets will be discovered.' ~ Bible

* * *

 **CHAPTER XIII**

 _ **Secrets? Secrets.**_

Robert reached the servants dining room. There he found lonely O'Brien. No sign of anybody near her. O'Brien cleaned and sewed the cuts on Cora's nightgown and kept her eyes fixed on the silken fabric she held in her arms, not seeing that Robert was standing at the door.

"O'Brien. May I have a word with you?" he muttered, looking at Cora's nightgown which she held in her hands. It instantly reminded him of everything that happened last night.

"Of course, my Lord." Sarah wanted to stand up, but Robert stopped her and took a seat next to her.

"I want to properly thank you for everything you did." He looked her straight in the eyes, but they somehow avoided his.

"But I still couldn't save her. If I told you earlier perhaps..."

"Don't blame yourself, O'Brien. It's not your fault. Maybe it's even my fault...but let's not talk about that anymore."

She just stared at him. _It was my fault. I invited Jane here. It was all actually my idea._ O'Brien didn't want to talk or think about that so she just switched on another topic _._

"Milord, how's Lady Grantham?" O'Brien squeezed the fabric in her hands, impatiently waiting for an answer.

"Cora is alight," he added with a smile on his face to make O'Brien feel better. "She has bruises and wounds, but she'll be fine."

"And the baby?" Sarah asked anxiously. This was the question she had been craving to ask all night.

"The baby is fine as well. It's still critical, but if she rests, there shouldn't be any more complications."

"Thank the Lord!" O'Brien closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling relief in her body.

"O'Brien, can you please bring Cora something to eat and drink? You can keep her company too. She won't be able to walk for a few days, so I don't want her to feel like she's an outsider." He added a chuckle.

"Of course, my lord. It's my pleasure." Sarah happily smiled.

"Good... Now, I'm going to have a little chat with Jane." Robert stood up. "Do you think she had something to do with Cora's fall?" Robert frowned.

"I don't want to judge, but I think she probably did it. She literally made a fact in her head that Cora's baby belonged to her." Sarah rolled her eyes.

"What? That's so... Anyway, I should be going. Once again, thank you O'Brien for taking care of my Cora." Robert smiled and within a second, he vanished from the room and headed deeper down the hall. The words O'Brien said to him still rang in his head. _Belonged to her? What's she thinking?_

* * *

O'Brien slowly knocked on the door, but she didn't receive an answer. She stood outside Cora's bedroom for a few more moments when she decided to go inside without permission.

Opening the door, Sarah found her sleeping among the soft pillows on that enormous bed. Carefully closing the door behind her, she made her way on to the other side of the room.

Placing Cora's lunch on the nightstand, O'Brien looked at Cora as she slept on the bed. Not looking, Sarah accidentally bumped the lamp. _Dammit!_ The noise awoke Cora from her deep sleep.

"O'Brien?" Cora's eyes were barely open. She looked through the blurry view, trying to identify the woman who stood in front of her. Cora was quite horrified when she saw Sarah. She didn't know what was happening in that very moment. Neither did she know where she was. It seemed as if the nap were magical.

"I'm sorry, my Lady. I didn't mean to scare you." O'Brien was glad Cora opened her eyes. She gave her quite a scare last night.

"Quite alright. What are you doing here?" Cora tried to sit up in the bed, unable to hide a painful expression that came across her beautiful face. O'Brien saw it and immediately fixed the pillow against Cora's back, trying to make it comfortable for her.

"Thank you, O'Brien." Cora smiled at her. "Come here." She carefully moved her legs on the side to make space for woman who stood next to her. Of course, O'Brien obeyed. She had to, no one can say _no_ to Cora.

"I can't thank you enough, O'Brien. You were by my side when that horrible Spanish flu epidemic came into my house and you're here now, taking care of me...again. I don't know how I will ever be able to thank you enough." Cora took Sarah's hand in hers and gave it a squeeze.

"That's what I do, my Lady. Seeing you alright is payment enough for me." A friendly smile appeared on Sarah's face. She still couldn't forget or forgive herself for what she had done almost 2 years ago, a mistake she would regret forever, but she was happy she wasn't a villain this time. "Although there's something you should know, my Lady."

"What is it?" Cora looked, as O'Brien's face changed.

"It's about Jane." O'Brien felt how Cora's hand let go of her. "You have every right to know what she did and what's she's capable of."

"Oh my... I really can't listen to anything that includes Jane right now." Cora rolled her eyes and rested her hands on her belly.

"This is really important." O'Brien tried to convince her.

Cora considered her thoughts for a while, but at the end she agreed to listen. _It can't be that bad, can it?_ "Fine," she exhaled harshly, feeling pain in her ribs. "Tell me."

"She came here with totally different intentions. Her son isn't ill." O'Brien started explaining.

"What do you mean he's not ill?" Cora could sense from the beginning that this wouldn't be a good conversation.

"She lied to you. Her son is perfectly fine. Jane came back in hope to win Robert's heart again, and she's ready to go to the limits."

"Win Robert's heart?" Cora frowned at O'Brien, and felt anger building inside of her.

"And apparently the poor baby was standing in her way, so she tried to kill it, multiple times."

"What?" Cora said, just above a whisper, looking at O'Brien in disbelief. "This can't be true?"

"Unfortunately, it is. Once she tried to poison you, but thankfully Thomas removed the food before anyone got hurt. And now I think she's responsible for your fall down the stairs. That was her idea, I'm sure." Sarah looked at her employer. "She did that because she's madly in love."

Cora felt like someone stabbed her right in the heart. She analyzed O'Brien's words very carefully in her head. _Madly in love? Poisoning me and my baby? Responsible for falling down the stairs?_ All that thinking gave her a headache.

"I didn't want to upset you, but you must know." O'Brien studied Cora's face and body, waiting for her next move.

"I think _'upset'_ is a mild word for how I feel right now!" Cora removed the blanket from her body. She moved her legs, desperately wanting to touch the wooden floor. "I must go and tell Robert."

"You mustn't walk, my Lady." O'Brien tried to stop her from her intentions.

"I won't die, for Heaven's sake!" She sat on her bed, looking at her feet.

"Perhaps you won't, but somebody else will." O'Brien lowered her gaze from Cora's face until she reached her abdomen. Of course, Cora understood her words. Then she remembered what Robert said to her: _"Very, very critical."_

"Alright, you won." Cora said, defeated by Sarah's sentence moments earlier. She crawled back in her bed.

"Good," she smiled. "Now it's time for you, my Lady, to eat something." O'Brien looked at the nightstand.

"Do I have to?" Cora made a face.

"Again, repeat that sentence I said a few moments earlier." She looked at Cora until she gave an approving nod.

"Anyway, where's Robert?" Cora watched as O'Brien put all that food in front of her. Mrs. Patmore really didn't want anything to be missing. She made everything Cora loved.

"His Lordship told me that he has some unfinished business downstairs, but he should be back soon."

"That doesn't sound very good." Cora tried to sound still interested in her question, but she was so very distracted by all that food. She had to admit, it really looked seducing.

"Believe me my Lady, it's not." Sarah looked at the distance when she saw that Cora didn't pay attention anymore. She knew the talk between Robert and Jane wouldn't end up well.

* * *

 _Was it a good idea to tell Cora about Jane or not? What will Robert do now when he knows almost everything? Will Jane at the end win Robert's heart?_

 _Not my best update, but I'll leave the reviews to you :) x_


	14. New Opportunities

**Thank you** **_Gretchie_** for perfectly edited chapter!

 _Thanks for your reviews! Enjoy this chapter, r&r. I love to read what you think about the story!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XIV**

 ** _New Opportunities_**

Without knocking on the door, he stormed in. He was trying hard to hide his anger, but it was impossible. Within an hour he would know everything she may or may not have done. He couldn't believe that the woman he once had feelings for was capable of such horrible deeds.

Jane turned around when she heard him enter. Her dark brown hair was perfectly tied in a bun and her white skin seemed to be glowing under the light of an old lamp. When he looked her she reminded so very much on Cora, but at the same time, they were so very different.

"Robert!" A happy smile crept across Jane's face. Her voice echoed in the tiny room. Being alone in a room with Robert was something she had been fantasizing of since she had moved into the house, and now it had come true. Just the two of them.

Not saying a word, he closed the door behind him. He approached her slowly, stopping when he stood just a few steps away from her.

"I'm so glad you came!" Jane exclaimed, looking in his ocean-blue eyes. She had no knowledge of her failed plan. She only hoped that they'd pick up where they left off, the same time the Spanish flu had attacked, but unfortunately, Robert's face didn't reveal any happiness. He just stared at her. Her smile slowly faded. She took a step closer and began to wrap her arm in his.

"What do you think you are doing?" The cold tone in his quiet voice made her freeze on the spot.

"W-what do you mean? I don't understand?" She was angry at herself in the moment, because her voice, shaky and weak, betrayed her uneasiness. Trying hard to regain her strength and confidence back, she tried to turn around, but Robert's strong arm grabbed Jane's wrist.

"Stop pretending!" Robert lost his cool and he tightenened his grip on Jane's wrist. "You understand me very well... and don't try to trick me. I know you're behind Cora's fall and only God knows what else you tried to do to her!" His voice became harsh and deep. His eyes were like glass, sharp and cutting. She could almost feel the slicing across her face each time she looked at him.

"So what if I am behind it? So what if I did do that?!" Jane knew that she couldn't lie to him. He would discover it eventually.

"So what?!" This time he yelled at her, not caring if anyone could hear them. "You almost killed my unborn child and you put Cora through so much pain! So what?!" He let go of her hand, a disgusted face on his features.

 _Almost killed?_ Jane repeated that one word of his sentence in her head. It seemed that her plan hadn't succeeded. But there was still time.

"I did all that because I wanted to give us a chance, and apparently Cora is a big problem." Jane shook her head, her voice full of anger.

"What chance? I _do not_ love you, Jane! I love Cora and I'll only love Cora for the rest of my life! Is that not clear enough?"

"Of course you love me!" She shivered from his words. _Doesn't love me? It's impossible!_ "Then why did you kiss me if you love her?"

"That was a moment of weakness. Cora and I had some issues then, and you seemed a good replacement in the moment." Robert knew how badly his words will hurt Jane, but to be honest, he didn't care anymore.

"Replacement?!" She whispered, her eyes filled with tears. "But what about _us_ , Robert?" She placed her palm on his chest.

"There is no _us,_ Jane! I allowed you to stay here against Cora's wishes and it wasn't because I loved you. It was because I pity you." He removed Jane's hand. "No matter how hard you tried to ruin mine and Cora's life, you failed at it. We're happy and we're expecting a child and there's nothing more you can do about it." He bitterly scowled at the woman... the woman he couldn't recognize anymore.

His words made her heart bleed. Her tears grew bigger and her sobs louder.

"I still can't believe that you tried to poison them. That's crazy, even for you!"

"But I'd never hurt you!" Jane loved Robert too deeply to ever hurt him. She lifted her gaze and looked at him. Her cheeks and eyes were red from crying.

"If you hurt my family, you hurt me." Robert backed away and headed towards the door. "The only reason I won't have you killed is because I'm not the same as you. I want you to live knowing how happy I am with _Cora_. I want you to live knowing I prefer _Cora_ over you and it'll forever stay that way." He pulled the doorknob, turning his head to give her one last look. "I want you to leave by tomorrow morning, and _never_ come back!" With those words he disappeared.

"Wait!" She tried to yell, but only a whisper came from her throat. Jane was feeling heartbroken for the first time in her life. She managed to take a few steps backwards until she reached the wall. She placed her back against it and slid down until she found herself on the floor, crying her eyes out. _He left! He left me forever!_

* * *

Robert climbed the stairs, breathing heavily. He was trying hard to calm himself down. He was still so angry and there were still so many questions he had, but he didn't dare ask. He just wanted this to be over, he wanted Cora to be alright, and he wanted Jane to leave.

Finally Robert reached their bedroom, but he didn't open the door right away. He leaned over the railing and looked at the large room beneath him with the intention to calm himself down before Cora saw him. He remembered when he first married Cora, she didn't quite like the look of the entrance hall so she made a few changes. _She has always had a sense for decorating._ Even Violet, who didn't agree with anything American, had expressed her approval.

When he decided to open the door, Robert almost hit O'Brien. Sarah was just leaving the room.

"I apologize." He smiled at the woman.

"It's alright, milord." O'Brien stood next to him, ready to leave.

"How's she doing?" Robert turned his gaze from O'Brien to his wife who was sleeping on the bed.

"I waited until Lady Grantham fell asleep. I didn't want to leave her alone." Sarah looked at Robert. "But her Ladyship made great progress today, I must say." She smiled, showing Robert an empty platter she was holding in her arms. "She ate everything."

"Indeed!" He chuckled quietly, careful not to wake up Cora.

"I'm going now. Call me if you need anything." O'Brien smiled and gave one last look at peacefully sleeping Cora before leaving.

As soon as O'Brien left, Robert swapped his formal suit for a robe in his dressing room. Before climbing into bed he stopped and looked at Cora. She looked so angelic and vulnerable at the same time. _I'm one lucky man!_ Robert slowly shifted onto the bed, trying to make as little noise as possible. Cora didn't notice his presence until the mattress dipped under his weight

"You're here." Her voice was soft and sleepy, and she moved a little bit to make space for him.

"I'm sorry I woke you up." Robert laid down, allowing Cora to rest her head on his shoulder.

"You're definitely not the first and probably not the last." She sighed tiredly into his chest, feeling his hand on her back. "I had a very interesting chat with O'Brien."

"Did you really?"

"She told me about Jane... and she told me that you know too. That was the topic you two wanted to discuss before... well, you know." She felt Robert's hand tighten its grip around her.

"I don't think she should have told you that while you're in this condition."

"I would have found out eventually, and besides I'm happy she told me. I'm glad somebody else shares my hatred of Jane." Cora wanted to free herself from his hug, but he was too strong and she felt too tired, too weak so she kept resting her head agains his shoulder.

"What does that mean?" Robert frowned in confusion, knowing that Cora couldn't see his face.

"It means that she did so many horrible things and you still kept her in our house! She wanted to kill us, for heavens sake!" She shook Robert with her hand when she felt anger going through her again. "You still have feelings for her, don't you?" Cora closed her eyes, not wanting to hear an answer.

"Where's all that coming from?" Robert felt her breathing heavily against his chest. "Cora, I just told her to leave Downton once and for all." Cora instantly turned her head to look at him. The pair of blue eyes met another. "The only reason I didn't have her killed is because of her poor son."

"Is it really over? Forever?" Cora waited for his answer impatiently, her eyes wandering on his face.

"Forever! And it hurts that you still think I have feelings for her." He frowned this time, so Cora could clearly see it.

"I just can't help myself." She added a half smile on her face, lowering her head on his shoulder again.

"Now, the other topic we _have_ to discuss is your _mother_." His British accent came out strongly.

"My mother? What this has to do with her?"

"Well, I heard her name mentioned in the library. Our daughters probably discussed her coming." He rolled his eyes, knowing how Cora's mother and his mother got along.

"She is going to come when the baby is born, but I'll write her so she can decide for sure." Cora let out a yawn, giving Robert a warning that she was about to fall asleep.

"Oh, one more thing darling."

"Yes." Cora nuzzled against his shoulder, preparing herself for a long sleep.

"O'Brien showed me an empty platter you left behind. You did a really, _really_ good job for someone who said ' _I_ _don't have an appetite',_ my dear." He let out a quick laugh and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Stop right there Robert! Don't blame me, I'm only half responsible." Cora chuckled and put her hand over her tummy.

Robert was keeping her close to him, their hands entwined on her belly, and they both fell asleep, hoping for a better tomorrow.

* * *

 _Enjoyed in some cute moments between these two? Well, better enjoy them while they last.. Is Jane the past now or a new problematic chapter of their life, hmm?_

 _ **Warning** : Next chapter will not be recommended for persons under the age of 16, so be prepared!_


	15. Deadly Note and Secret Agendas

**Warning:** This chapter _**is not**_ recommended for persons under the age of **_16_**!

* * *

 **CHAPTER XV**

 ** _Deadly Note and Secret Agendas_**

The big curtains were pulled back and sun peeked through, flooding the Crawley's master bedroom. The sun vibrant rays sent a glossy, gold sheen all around the room.

"Good morning, Lord and Lady Grantham." Cora heard a familiar voice calling them. She found herself sleeping on her pillow, but her hand was still on Robert's chest. Cora's mind was fuzzy, the last remnants of a dream chased away by the realization that she was awake again. _Well, at least it was a nice dream._ She thought.

"Morning O'Brien." Robert's voice broke the silence in the room. He sounded like he had been awake for a long time. "Cora?" Robert shook her shoulder and lowered his head so it was closer to her porcelain face. "Are you awake?" He whispered softly against her hair.

"I am, why?" Cora slowly opened her blue eyes.

"O'Brien will come any minute with your breakfast." Robert sat up, leaning against the headboard.

"I'd like to go downstairs and join the rest of the family. It's too beautiful a morning to waste in the bed." She muttered into her pillow.

"You rarely go downstairs for breakfast." Robert smiled in disbelief of her words, knowing this is only the beginning. "And now when you can't, you want to."

"I know." Cora sighed and sat up in bed, joining her husband.

"Clarkson is coming after breakfast to check on you and the baby." He smiled as he looked at her. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I think..." They both turned their heads when O'Brien entered the room, bringing Cora her breakfast on a tray. Sarah placed it on Cora's lap and poured her a coffee.

"This came this morning, milord." O'Brien handed Robert a letter.

"Who sent it?" Cora asked, taking a sip of her warm coffee.

"The signature says Anthony Gillingham." He opened it and started reading while Cora peacefully enjoyed her breakfast.

"I wonder what he wants." She said sarcastically. Robert grinned and thought of a reply to her question, but he didn't dare to say it out loud. He might end up in his dressing room.

After a minute Robert's upset voice filled the room. "It seems that I have to go to London tomorrow."

"What?" His sentence almost made Cora spill her coffee on the bed. "Why?"

"There's some problem with Tony's investments and it seems it's very urgent. He needs me to help him sort it out."

"Why can't he come here?"

"Gillingham is too busy and we have to meet somewhere. However, I shouldn't bother you with that." Robert kissed her on the cheek and stood up. O'Brien handed him a robe.

"You really have to go?" Cora looked disappointedly at him, taking the letter in her hands to read it herself.

"I'll be home soon, I promise."

"It's an inconvenient time to leave." She tossed the letter away.

"I know, my darling, but it seems he's in a really big trouble. Otherwise he wouldn't ask me to come."

"I'm sure it's nothing he can't handle by himself." She whispered under her breath, but Robert overheard it anyway.

"We'll talk later." With that he entered his dressing room. Cora analyzed his every move with her eyes. She wasn't pleased he had to go, but she couldn't stop him. It was his duty, after all.

"O'Brien?" Cora looked at the woman who stood in her bedroom, arranging her dress nearby. "I talked with Robert about Jane yesterday. He said that she'd leave this morning. Do you know anything about that?"

"I didn't hear a word from Jane all of yesterday. I haven't seen her neither this morning. She probably left without an explanation like the last time. I wouldn't be surprised."

"I'm dying to know about what they talked about. Do you think Robert will really go to London?"

"You know him better than I, milady, but probably." O'Brien saw that Cora was slightly annoyed, but she couldn't do anything about it. "He never ignores his commands."

"That's what scares me the most." Cora looked down at the platter. She had lost her appetite.

"Look on this situation as an opportunity. If his Lordship can't stay here with you, you can always think of something." Sarah wore a devious look.

"I beg your pardon?" Cora frowned, not understanding a word of what O'Brien had said.

"I'll explain." O'Brien put the dress down on the armchair and approached to Cora. " _So, if everything..._ "

* * *

Later that morning Cora was sitting in her bed, reading a book. That was the only thing the doctor had deemed appropriate for her to do, but she wasn't interested in the book at all. She was occupied by thinking about life in general. And a big part of her head reviewed O'Brien's idea. It was really good, but she was concerned about what the doctor would say. She was dragged from her thoughts with a knock on the door.

"Cora!" Robert entered their bedroom. "The doctor is here."

"Good morning, Clarkson." Cora added a smile... a smile that hid a secret agenda.

"I'll be waiting outside." Robert smiled weakly and disappeared as fast as he could. Cora didn't blame him. She knew how uncomfortable he was about talk that included female anatomy. Some various things dropped on her mind that made her grin.

"I came to see how you were doing today, Lady Grantham. Any changes?" Doctor put down his bag and pulled out a stethoscope.

"I'm feeling better. Much better, in fact." She tried to sound convincing. Cora sat straight up in her bed and removed a blanket. She unbuttoned the top few buttons on her nightgown so her breathing could be checked.

"Take a few deep breaths." The doctor said when he pressed the stethoscope against her chest. It was cold, so it made her shudder, but Cora just nodded and obeyed.

"You breather very smoothly and the ribs are recovering fast." He moved his stethoscope away from her chest and asked to check the baby. "Can I?" Clarkson wanted permission before doing anything. Robert had told him about her horrible mood swings. Clarkson didn't want to end up getting a slap in the face with a book or something worse.

"Of course." Cora simply smiled and nodded, giving him an approving look. She laid back in bed and all she could do is wait.

Those few minutes seemed to last for an hour. She stared up at the ceiling, anxiously waiting to hear if everything was as it should be. Finally, the doctor moved and fixed his eyes on her. "Everything is perfectly fine, I assure you." Cora inhaled and closed her eyes, relieved. She hadn't even know that she was holding her breath. "The baby is fully formed now and the only thing left is growing, so you can start expecting changes in your wardrobe in a few days."

Cora sighed sadly following his wardrobe comment, but she was truly happy everything was fine.

"Would you like to hear it?" Clarkson asked her with a smile. She was pleasantly surprised at the offer.

"Gladly." She nodded her head and smiled sweetly.

Clarkson placed one end of his stethoscope on her ears and the other on her belly. Listening to the heartbeat of her baby for the first time was something impossible to describe. It was precious... That little _tum, tum, tum_ was a life she had created with the person she loved, a life that would be entwined with hers forever. Emotions started running through her veins and her eyes lit up. The world seemed to stop... until she was torn back to reality by the doctors voice.

"Is everything alright Milady?" Clarkson asked, concerned.

"Emotional." Cora couldn't stop smiling. "As my mother-in-law would say, _Typical American_." She rolled her eyes and they both shared a laugh.

"For now, I see no reason to worry, but still be careful." The doctor rose and packed his bag. "You just entered the second trimester and the baby is still very little and vulnerable."

"I have a question." Cora took a deep breath and continued. "Can I walk now?"

"Well.." The doctor considered her for a moment before giving her his final decision. "...let's say yes." He exhaled sharply, knowing that it's was not a very good idea, but he knew that Cora would fight him until he allowed her to walk. W _hat can possibly go wrong? She's looked after like a queen._ "But don't stand on your feet for too long!"

"Thank you, Clarkson." Cora smiled from ear to ear. Now there was nothing left to stop the plan O'Brien had shared with her.

* * *

 _"...Forever yours!"_ She signed the letter with her hands shaking wildly. After writing all night, she had finished what she had wanted to say. She was sitting at her desk, knowing it was time to go. A tear dropped from her blue eye and fell on the paper beneath her, smearing the ink. Jane folded the letter, putting it in an envelope. _To_ _Lord Grantham from unloved one,_ she scrawled across it.

She rose from her seat and placed the letter under her pillow. Then she sat on the bed, looking around the room. "It's for real this time, isn't it?" She sobbed as tears fell down her red cheeks. "And it's all my fault. I tried to love him, but I only pushed him away!" Jane said it over and over to herself. "I'm just tired, I'm just so very tired." She looked at the ceiling, desperate to leave the hell she was living. "I would've succeeded, if only Cora wasn't pregnant!" She sobbed quietly.

"I'm ready!" Jane jumped to her feet, taking a deep breath. She took a few steps towards the closet and pulled out a black and white photo of her son, leaving a soft kiss on the glass. "He will offer you a much better life than I ever could. I'm sure of it. He won't let me down again." She talked to herself, tucking the photo into a pocket.

Jane opened the door, looking up and down the hallway. Empty. No one was there. It was a perfect time. She was ready to leave Downton, but a different way than everyone expected. Closing the door, she stayed in her room. Jane grabbed the chair that was standing next to her.

She carried it to the other side of the room, placing it on the spot she had deemed was to be her last destination. She was ready. If she didn't do it now, she would never have the courage to escape the pain again. She would hate herself even more.

She stood up on the chair, having decided to go with a rope. She'd be gone quickly and there would be no noise or bloody mess. Jane fastened it on the hook she had found on the ceiling. "So this must be true love then?" She smiled weakly as she secured the rope around her neck, trying not to lose her balance. _No one knows, and no one will know!_ She knew that Robert wasn't the one to blame. He never was. Instead, she blamed Cora. "She should bow her head in shame!" Jane closed her eyes, pushing back tears. "I just hope Cora was worth it." Jane muttered. This time was real.

"It'll be all over soon!" Jane mumbled a few words as she lifted one foot off of the chair. With the other foot she kicked it over. The chair fell down on the floor as her neck snapped and she drew her last breath. The room was filled with silence. Jane was finally resting.

* * *

 _I hope that you are not too shocked with this chapter.._

 _What do you think about O'Brien's new plan? What will Cora do? Jane's letter to Lord Grantham isn't very friendly, huh? What will happen now when Jane is gone? And what about Robert's recent offer to travel to London? Hmm..._


	16. Running Away

_Once again, Gretchie thank you for being an amazing beta and even better friend!  
_

 _I deeply apologize for delay. I'm on road trip with friends and Croatia/Germany/Italy are under horrific heat wave. It's 39*C already around noon, so I couldn't write anywhere and right now Zagreb, Croatia is under horrible storm so my wifi doesn't work properly. I really hope you understand. Please be reasonable._

* * *

 **CHAPTER XVI**

 ** _Running Away_**

"No, unfortunately I can't do anything about it." Doctor Clarkson said again. At Lord Grantham's request, he sighed and checked her pulse one last time. "Nothing." He moved away from the bed where Jane's body lay.

"You must be joking!" Robert stood behind him, looking at the motionless woman. "She can't be dead! She couldn't have die!" He angrily shouted.

"I'd say that she's been dead for approximately 3 hours now." Clarkson covered her body with a white sheet Anna had brought him. "I'll contact the police so they'll know it was a suicide."

"This can't be..." Robert was indignant. She couldn't have just gone like that. Without an explanation. Without an answer. She couldn't just disappear from this world and avoid all the problems she had caused them. _It's not fair._

 _"_ I'll leave you with her. They'll come to pick up her body in a half-hour." Clarkson vanished, leaving him with her corpse.

Robert came closer to her bed and sat on the stool nearby. Removing the sheet, he exposed her pale hand and face. He found a purple bruise on her wrist. In horror, he realized that it was caused by himself when they had argued and he had threatened her. And a thick purple bruise spread all around her neck was her final end. Robert was looking at her and some part of him still believed she'd open her blue eyes and look at him... but that didn't happen.

With his fingertips he slowly touched her white skin. She was so cold and her face was deathly pale. All he could do was stare at her. "Am I responsible for this?" He muttered, hoping for an answer, but there was none given.

Tears pooled up in his eyes, but he didn't allow them to fall. Instead, he stood up and covered her face with the sheet again. Robert didn't want to look at her like this. He wanted to remember her as a beautiful and smiling girl, not as a pale and lifeless corpse.

He kissed his hand and placed through the sheet onto her forehead. " _Goodbye_ Jane." Finally, those final bitter words slipped out of his mouth. It seemed that their story was closed forever.

Or was it?

* * *

"She committed suicide early this morning." Sybil was sitting on the bed next to her mother, sniffling as she explained what happened downstairs.

"Good God." Cora shook her head in denial. Her eyes opened wide and they looked to Mary for a confirmation. Sybil's sentence sounded so otherworldly to her.

"It is true. Papa is down there with Mr. Clarkson." Mary nodded, but unlike her younger sister, Mary's eyes were completely dry.

"I really liked her." Sybil sighed sadly. She wiped a red-rimmed eye with her sleeve. "And now she's dead."

"But she chose her own path, didn't she? Serves her right." Mary shrugged her shoulders carelessly. Cora gave Mary a look, warning her to watch her words. It didn't matter how much Cora despised Jane, she wouldn't allow her daughter to talk about someone like that. Especially not a deceased person

"How can you be so cold hearted? She's a human being, just like us." Sybil continued.

"Not anymore!" Mary retorted. Sybil glared at Mary and stormed out. The last thing heard from Sybil was a loud slam of the door and a soft pitter-patter of footprints as she ran from the room, irritated by Mary's last comment.

This time, Mary received a slap on the wrist from her mother.

"I said nothing wrong." Mary defended herself. "Besides, you never particularly liked her."

"That doesn't mean I rejoice in her passing! Your words was uncalled for and rude. Jane deserves some shred of respect from you." Cora raised her eyebrows. "Let's go downstairs."

* * *

Despite the tragic incident that had occurred, everything seemed to be functioning normally as Cora walked towards the library with Mary by her side. Opening the door, she found Violet, Edith and Isobel sitting in the room.

"Cora!" Isobel called her name and smiled broadly. "It's so nice to see you back on your feet."

"It feels nice too, I'll admit." Cora smiled sweetly at the older woman who sat next to her mother-in-law on the sofa.

"Have you heard what happened?" Edith caught Cora's attention this time.

"Mary told me." Cora couldn't seem to feel deep sorrow, but she did pity Jane. What made her sad was that such a young life was taken away.

"Why would she do that..." Violet paused as Cora passed her and sat at the desk, pulling out a sheet of paper and an ink bottle. "Why would she do that _in this house_? It must've caused a terrible disruption among the staff."

"There's no need to be cruel." Isobel gave Violet a stern look.

"What are you doing?" Mary questioned her mother, ignoring the two older woman beside her.

"I'm writing your grandma a letter." Cora continued to write, her hand moving fast across the paper.

"When will she come?" Edith curiously asked.

"I wish, I knew." Cora sighed, folding a little piece of paper. "I don't know if she wants to come earlier or perhaps later." She rose from her seat and headed towards the door. "Your grandma is unpredictable."

"Oh, do we really need another _unpredictable_ American in the house?" Violet sarcastically whispered to Isobel, but she made sure Cora heard it.

"Not again..." Isobel rolled her eyes, knowing Cora wouldn't swallow that comment and just move on.

Cora turned around, facing Violet. She gave her a _'if looks could kill_ ' gaze. It froze Violet to the spot. Cora was very upset. Violet couldn't remember if Cora had ever been so angry in all the years they had known each other.

Cora didn't know if her anger was from her hormones or just the usual Violet comments. Most of the time Cora would ignore Violet and her nasty comments about Cora's nationality, but this time she just couldn't. She had had enough.

"Yes, my mother is _an American_!" Cora raised her voice and took a few steps to get closer to Violet, but still kept her distance. " _I am_ an American!" She lowered her voice a little bit. "And this baby is _half_ American." She said just above a whisper. "I _can not_ care less if you like it or not!"

Mary, Edith, and Isobel were waiting to see if Violet would comment on Cora's speech, but nothing happened. Violet just remained silent. That was probably the first and the last time they would see Violet Crawley speechless.

The most awkward silence filled up the room and it was threatening to drown them when it was interrupted, _thank the Lord_ , by Robert and Clarkson entering. At first Robert didn't even notice Cora standing there. He was distracted and still under shock from the events that had ocurred earlier.

"Robert?" Cora softly spoke up when he passed her without noticing.

Robert turned around when he heard her voice and there she was, standing right in front of him. Her friendly face immediately gave his soul comfort.

"I'm so sorry, my darling." Robert offered Cora his hands. Inevitably, she accepted them, pulling him closer to her. "Why are you down here?" Robert planted a quick kiss on her lips, ignoring everyone else in the room. Cora smiled timidly, seeing how distracted he was. "Oh, yes. I forgot." Robert was disappointed in himself. _How could I possibly forget to ask about her health?!_ Robert turned his head and looked at Clarkson. "How is she? Is everything alright?"

"Beyond alright, I prefer to say. They are both just splendid." Clarkson nodded.

"Thank God, some good news today." Robert pulled his wife into a loving embrace, catching her off guard. He could hear her giggling on his shoulder from unexpected passion.

"All this romance will give me insomnia." Of course, Violet's comment made everyone in the room chuckle, including Robert and Cora, but Violet was completely serious.

"What's happening downstairs?" Cora asked as Robert and Clarkson exchanged looks. "Is it true? Jane...?"

"Unfortunately, yes. They just came to collect her body." Clarkson explained.

"Horrible!" Cora shuddered and eyed Robert, but he was looking at his feet.

"I must go now." Clarkson bid them farewell. "Good day, Lord and Lady Grantham." They both just nodded as he walked through the door.

"I must go and have Bates pack. I'm leaving for London tomorrow morning. I need to get away." Robert wanted to leave. The house was too much to bear at that moment, knowing that her life had ended within these walls. He kissed Cora's forehead and was about follow Clarkson's steps out of the room, but his intentions were interrupted.

"I'm going to London with you." Cora exclaimed. She quickly whispered O'Brien's plan to him. "Then we can stay at Rosamund's house while we're there."

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" He carefully studied her face. "I don't think you should go."

"Of course, it is. Nothing bad will happen." She approached him, a little disappointed at his hesitant reaction, but put it out of her mind. Who could blame him after everything that had happened today.

"I'll only be there for a week." He was still trying to convince her to stay.

"Well, I have different plans." Cora added a grin on her face as she left the room.

"Doesn't surprise me much." Robert sighed, looking at the now closed doors.


	17. Getting better or?

**_A/N:_** _Thanks for your reviews and messages! I appreciate every single one a lot. To those who write here, I'll be giving you a review soon too. I just started to read more_ _Cobert & Chelsie_ _fanfics, so any good recommendations are welcomed too._

 _So, this chapter will basically be cute Cobert fluff! I wrote this because you all deserved it!_

 _Enjoy!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XVII**

 _ **Getting better or...?**_

They left for London early in the morning, leaving behind the house under Mary's supervision. Cora didn't think it was practical to leave Mary in charge, but Robert convinced her to. It would be good for Mary, and he knew Mr. Carson and Mrs. Hughes would keep an eye on them. They invited Bates and O'Brien, but as Sarah had undertaken the task of cleaning Jane's room, they left her behind. Rosamund's lady's maid could pick up the slack. Bates sat up front with the chauffeur. Cora was sure they both noticed the tense atmosphere behind them.

Cora and Robert were unusually silent on their way to London. They were looking through their car windows at the landscape and they were both thinking about the recent events that had occured in their house.

 _I wonder if Rosamund knows about what's been going on lately?_ They had called Rosamund last night to let her know of their arrival. She was very gracious about last minute drop-ins. But they hadn't told her why they were coming to London. _What if this wasn't a very good idea?_ Cora finally saw familiar buildings in the distance, and found herself dreading their approach. She was fighting a war with her thoughts in her own head. _And Jane... Robert will be distracted this whole time. I'm sure she's_ _constantly_ _on his mind._ Cora slowly turned her head and eyed Robert, but he didn't notice. _I wish I could read his mind now, but I'd probably_ _be disappointed._

 _Why did she do it? I don't understand? Was it my fault?_ Robert looked through the window, but his eyes were near lifeless. _I'd be very grateful if she had just left a note and told me her reasoning for such a drastic decision!_ Robert's now grey eyes perfectly matched the London sky. The color reflected his emotions and feelings. _Why Jane? Maybe it was my fault? I shouldn't have yelled and grabbed her like that...but she wanted to harm Cora and the baby_ _! So many questions!_ He felt a horrible headache beginning to grow in his head. He frowned.

"Robert?" She took one of his hands, trying to lessen her anxiety; something she knew would be impossible under the shocking circumstances. The only thing Cora accomplished was to stare at Robert's face, trying hard to read it; to read his thoughts. She clutched his hand, waiting for him to say something and he entwined his fingers with hers in response.

"What is the matter?" Cora softly spoke up. If someone saw them like this, acting so distant, they would instantly think they had a horrible fight.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking." Robert finally turned his head and looked at Cora. His calm voice was a balm to her ears. "I'm concerned about you." He had an overwhelming expression of sadness written on his features.

"Don't be. Everything will be alright." Her large, beautiful, enchanting eyes stared at him with tenderness and wisdom. Cora snuggled close to him, pressing her body against his; seeking for his warmth, for his love. Robert embraced her tightly in return. His hand went to rest tenderly on her stomach and he cradled her with much affection.

Who would have thought after all this years that the good Lord would bless them with a child. Only two things were left to make this a perfect miracle; a gentle birth and a healthy baby.

"How are you feeling?" His hand was on her stomach, hoping to feel their unborn baby.

"Good." She looked down at her belly. "Feels heavy this morning." Cora watched how Robert's face grew softer at her words.

"It's growing very fast." He caressed her stomach with loving care and suddenly, a soft playful little kick could be felt, right under his hand.

"Oh my..." Robert whispered, completely stupified, and their eyes locked. This was the first time Cora had felt their baby moving since the accident and this was the first time Robert had felt it at all. The feeling was exceptional, it couldn't be described with words.

"Finally, it's moving." She whispered, the most beautiful smile he had ever seen on her lighting up her face. Subtly, her palm ran over her stomach to feel it again.

"I'm pretty sure you'll regret saying that in a few weeks." They both shared a chuckle and Cora rested her chin on Robert's shoulder. She watched the busy streets of London as they drove to Rosamund's house. People of all shapes and sizes were running around the streets. London was a dreamy, old town with a splash of the modern world. She was lost in the beautiful architecture until she saw one familiar building... they had finally arrived.

Robert climbed out of the car first, offering his wife a hand for support. "Watch your step, darling." He said in a concerned tone, carefully watching her every move. He still thought it wasn't a good idea for her to come. Robert thought of a conversation they had had last night...

 _"It's better if you don't go. You must rest. I know your body better than you think."_ Robert remembered telling her, trying to convince her to stay at Downton.

 _"Yes, but your knowledge is something you gained under different circumstances."_ Cora smirked, not taking him seriously.

He was determined to convince her to stay, but it was hard. His Cora was lovely and lively, but a little bit stubborn when it came to a few things.

"Cora! Robert!" Rosamund's voice broke Robert's thoughts. The pale, curly redheaded, woman came out of her large, luxurious house and greeted her guests with a warm smile. "Oh my goodness, look at you my dear!" She approached Cora, kissed her on the cheek and tightly hugged her. Rosamund pulled apart slightly, just enough to admire Cora's tender state which was beginning to show. "You look marvelous!" She exclaimed and watched as Cora's cheeks blushed a bright pink shade.

"Brother." Rosamund raised her gaze and kissed her taller sibling. "Let's go inside." She smiled and invited them in the house.

* * *

As soon as Cora stepped in Rosamund's house the thoughts in her mind began to settle. She really liked Rosamund's style and decoration. The house was inspiring and peaceful, and Cora needed that at the moment.

Everything looked opulent. From the gleaming wood floors covered with carefully picked rugs to the sheer curtains billowing on the wall to the exquisite ceiling windows. The furnishings were old, but they had a story to tell.

"Are you tired?" Rosamund asked Cora, who was still looking around the room.

"Not much." Cora took off her gloves.

"Change out of your travel clothes. We can catch up at lunch." Rosamund started to walk away but stopped shortly after. "You know where your room is?" She pointed to the stairs with her index finger.

"Always the same." Cora grinned.

Cora felt Robert's hand supporting her back as they walked upstairs. Their room was on the end of the hall. It had an amazing view of Belgrave Square.

Robert opened the door for her. "These walls have seen quite a lot." He said with a grin and walked behind her.

"Behave, Robert." She playfully slapped his shoulder. Cora took off her white hat that protected her from the summer rays of sun and the translucent scarf that covered her shoulders, tossing it on an armchair nearby.

"Good times." He sighed, placing one of Cora's suitcases on their bed.

"Are you complaining now?" She raised her eyebrows, searching her suitcase for a dress to wear tonight.

"No! Never!" He replied, and a sense of excited happiness took over him. He suddenly found himself holding her tightly against him, nuzzling her and inevitably seeking to touch her lips with his. The curves of her body had changed, he had known them so well and now they felt marvelously different against his body. The little one was making its presence not only felt, but seen.

Without even thinking about it, Cora turned her face to leave a soft kiss upon his cheek. "Happy?" She asked, in less than a whisper.

"Very much indeed." He gave her a warm smile.

"Not concerned anymore?" She asked as one of her hands traveled up to fix his already perfect suit.

"I'm happy, but concerned." His gaze tensed a little.

"There's no need to be." She pulled away from his embrace and picked up the dress she had chosen. "We have to hurry. You know, Rosamund hates when someone's late." Cora stopped before the mirror and unbuttoned a few buttons on her dress. Since O'Brien wasn't there to help, Cora had to do it on her own.

"Do you think of her?" Cora looked at her husband with a timid gaze through the mirror. He sat on the armchair, waiting for her to finish.

"It's hard not to." He cleared his throat, wanting to avoid this conversation.

"That day you talked with her... She didn't give you any sign?" Cora looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn't very pleased with how the dress looked on her. As weeks had passed by her little baby bump became larger and some adjustments in her wardrobe were required... and she didn't like them _at all_.

"No...no she didn't." Not thinking about his words, Robert just watched Cora who stood in front of the mirror with an unsatisfied facial expression. Whenever she was pregnant, her personality changed to vulgar. Sometimes she was the sweetest, but sometimes all he could think was, " _Good God help us all."_ Robert particularly remembered the day she couldn't fit in her old clothes anymore. It was the only time he had sincerely wished he could disappear or become invisible. Cora was furious, he had never seen her like that. When she was last pregnant with Sybil, she yelled at him, blaming him for knocking her up and referred to their child as ' _your baby'_ because when she was mad it was only his baby. Also, she had included the word _vasectomy_ somewhere in her speech... Cora had left him traumatized. Thank goodness Sybil had been born.

"You look thoughtful Robert." Cora smiled, having no idea how far in the past Robert's thoughts were.

" _Really?_ " He said as kindly as possible, not wanting to remind her of that fiery day. He slowly stood up and carefully approached the door, ready to leave. "I'll be downstairs, my dear. Come when you're ready." He gave her a warm smile and disappeared from her view. When he thought he was safely away from their room, he silently thanked God she didn't throw any vases or plates at him this time.


	18. Letter

**_A/N:_ **_Thanks again to Gretchie for being so wonderful to take her time to correct this chapter._

 _Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XVIII**

 _ **Letter**_

Her blissful sleep was interrupted by the sound of morning traffic outside. The weather wasn't very pleasant this summer morning, but nothing new for a cloudy town like London. Cora forced herself to open her eyes and stretched her arms across to Robert, but she found herself sleeping alone. _He already went to meet with Tony,_ she thought. The last thing Cora wanted to do was get up, but she thought of their host, and mustered all her strength. _Rosamund is Rosamund_... _and there's nothing you can do about it._ She whispered softly to herself.

Cora removed the covers and tossed them in a heap on Robert's side of the bed. She moved her legs and placed her feet on the carpeted floor of their bedroom. She sat for a moment, staring into space. Just when she thought the house was silent, Cora was startled by a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." Cora cleared her throat after hearing how hoarse her voice sounded.

"Good morning, my Lady." A familiar person with a head of brown hair peeked into the room.

"O'Brien!" Cora exclaimed, rising from the bed, making her way to her vanity. "What on Earth are you doing here this early?"

"We finished the room earlier than expected. I took the earliest train down." Sarah made her way through the room, approaching Cora.

"Well, you came right on time." With her index finger Cora pointed to the mess on her head.

Without another word, Sarah smiled and stood behind Cora. She brushed her caramel hair and parted it in sections, ready to curl them.

"Unfortunately, my lady, I'm not a bearer of good news." Sarah started arranging her curls and pinning up her hair into the latest fashion.

"I knew it!" Cora gasped. "What did the girls do this time?"

"Girls?" O'Brien didn't understand what Cora was talking about. "No. No, the girls did nothing wrong. It's about some of Jane's things we found."

"Jane? What things?" Cora frowned, not feeling O'Brien's fingers on her head anymore.

"This." O'Brien pulled a sealed letter out of her pocket and handed it to Cora. "We found it in Jane's room. It's addressed to _Lord Grantham..."_

" _... from an unloved one._ " Cora whispered as she finished O'Brien's sentence.

"I decided to give it to you, so you can choose whether Lord Grantham will see it." O'Brien watched as Cora twisted the letter between her fingers, inspecting every angle of it.

"Thank you for giving it to me first." Cora's voice shook a little bit. Nobody knew what this letter contained and it really scared her. Really, truly, deeply scared Cora. This was Jane's last correspondence before her death. When she thought about it, she had actually never heard Jane's side of the story. She had just taken Robert's word for it. What if Robert had lied to her all this time only for the baby's sake and Jane's death was a perfect opportunity to bury the hatchet? _Should I read it? Or not? Well, it's Robert's letter, maybe I shouldn't... Well, on the other hand... She's dead... Can a dead person make any more damage? But what if..._

"Done." O'Brien's satisfied voice dragged Cora from her scary thoughts. Sarah showed Cora her reflection in the mirror. Cora's hand travelled up, fixing a curl around her neck. She was still too occupied with thinking about that letter. She needed a second opinion. But could she trust Rosamund?

* * *

Rosamund took Cora out to lunch in a small private café near Belgrade Square. It was a particular favorite of Rosamund's. She felt the need to take her out of the the house. Rosamund knew that Cora became bored when Robert wasn't around so she wanted to keep her entertained, but there was something more this time... Something Cora was keeping from her.

"You seem rather distracted lately." Rosamund looked at the pregnant woman who sat opposite her, but her words didn't seem to get through to her. Cora stared at her plate, fiddled with the fork in her hand, and barely touched her food.

"Cora dear, is everything alright?" This time Rosamund caught Cora's attention, but Cora just nodded her head. She wasn't feeling very chatty.

Rosamund moved one of her pale hands across the table and softly squeezed Cora's. "Cora, talk to me. What's going on?" This time her voice was more intense, demanding an answer. Rosamund had an impulsive but caring personality, very similar to Violet's. When she wanted to know something, she would get an answer, one way or another.

"You know about Jane and... and Robert? Jane... shortly after..." Cora's voice was trembling and her eyes avoided Rosamund's. She was embarrassed with this talk, but she knew that Rosamund wouldn't stop until she found out everything she wanted to know.

"I know." Rosamund just nodded, giving her hand another squeeze. She could see on Cora's features that this wouldn't be a pleasant talk and it might end up in tears. "Why don't we continue this conversation outside." Rosamund recommended with a warm smile, and Cora agreed.

The fresh London air in her nostrils calmed her down. Walking down an old historic street was also relaxing and refreshing. Cora's white scarf was swaying with summer breeze while her shoes made a soothing patter on the stone sidewalk beneath her.

Cora took a deep breath before speaking up again. Jane's letter had weakened her mentally and physically. "Actually I wanted to talk to you about this. I need your opinion." Her hand went in her purse, searching for the piece of paper she had been carrying around. "Should I read it?"

Rosamund attentively looked at the letter in her hands. "It's addressed to Robert."

Cora shifted her weight from one foot to the other. "I know, but, what if it's something vulgar? What if it will upset him? Should I read it and spare him that pain?"

"I think the real question is do you trust him? Do you trust Robert, Cora?" Rosamund's stared her right in the eyes.

"I don't know!" Cora nervously looked at her feet. "Every time things get better between us something happen that causes destruction." Her gaze softened. "And Jane tried to do so many silly things that I really started to wonder, _could that all stem from just one kiss?"_

Cora felt Rosamund's hand soothingly rubbing up and down her back. "If I open it... It may be the end of everything Robert and I've built together over the years. I may find out that he lied to me and maybe that there was more than just _a kiss_." Her whole body shivered at that horrific thought. _Sleeping with another woman while you share the bed with your own wife._ Cora slowly felt tears growing in the corners of her blue eyes. "But when I think about it, there are some things I'd like to know for myself. Perhaps Jane explained why she did what she did. Why she killed herself? What was or _who was_ the reason that made her to do such a drastic deed? Why did she try to kill my baby?"

Rosamund gasped at Cora's words. She had never seen her sister-in-law crying before. Cora was an exceptionally strong woman, but it seemed that these circumstances made her break into pieces. Cora had kept her feelings bottled up inside for way too long and it was about time her emotions blew up. "My darling..." Her slender voice whispered and she hugged Cora tightly, not seeing the bitter tears falling down Cora's pink cheeks.

"I want to believe him, I really do, but I just can't!" Cora felt Rosamund's hands tighten its grip around her. She was really supportive and it meant the world to Cora.

"There you have it." Rosamund slowly backed away from their hug and she removed Cora's tears with her thumbs. She held her face with her hands, trying to calm Cora down. "There's only one way to find out what my brother did." Rosamund slowly placed the letter in Cora's palms.

 _The letter..._ It contained everything Cora needed to know to peacefully continue her life, but the question was... was it _a life_ with or without Robert.

Cora's carefully watched the letter in her pale hands, contemplating her next move.

* * *

 _What would you do if you were in her place? Would you read it with consequences or just let it go and live in delusion?_


	19. Trouble

**_A/N_ : **_This was originally written as two chapters, but I joined them together because I didn't want to leave you on an evil cliffhanger! It would be rude..._

 _Hope you'll have fun with this one._

* * *

 **CHAPTER XIX**

 ** _Trouble_**

Night was slowly approaching and Robert still hadn't returned. Cora stood by the large window, holding the letter in her fragile hands. The night was peaceful and clear. The gentle sky bathed Cora in moonlight as she stood at the large window with her wandering thoughts. A few twinkling stars decorated the midnight blue sky above her while she repeated Rosamund's words in her head from earlier today. _She's right! There's only one way to discover the truth..._

Cora turned the small white letter over in her hand and read once more '... _from an unloved one_ '. She broke the seal and took a deep breath before taking out the note.

"Here we go..." Cora finally found enough courage to unfold the letter. She saw Jane's handwriting in an abnormally shaky script. Cora started reading, and her eyes moved faster and faster as the letter went on.

 ** _Dear Robert_ _,_**

 ** _If you're reading this then I'm probably already dead. I feel like I have to explain my actions and I know you're expecting answers. I truly believed that we shared something special. That night I came into your room was magical. It felt like all my dreams were coming true. Your lips on mine. Your steady breathing next to my face. I know we'd do more than kissing if we hadn't been interrupted. I know you wanted the same thing I did and don't try to deny it._**

Cora slowly closed her eyes, trying hard to process what she just read. The only good news was that they didn't sleep together _... But they were close ..._ They had kissed, but that was enough for Cora to break her heart. Well, at least Robert hadn't lied to her. She felt the smallest amount of relief. Cora finally managed to pull herself together and she continued to read.

 ** _I killed myself because of your recent decision. I know we can't be together because Cora's pregnant and I know that you'd leave her if she wasn't, but that's out of the question now. Well, we can't do anything about it, can we? I understand your decision and no! It's not your fault! It never will be! Please know that no matter what happend between us, I'll always love you. You'll always be my favorite, my number one. But I can't spend one more day on this earth with you finding happiness in another._**

 _She really loved him?! She loved my Robert?!_ More tears were building in her crystal blue eyes with each sentence. _I let them fall in love?!_ She couldn't believe that other woman had feelings for her husband and Cora had been so blind and occupied she hadn't seen it. _Robert would leave me if I wasn't pregnant? He'd be with Jane? He stayed with me only because of the baby? NO, that's not true! That can't be true!_ Cora couldn't help but let the tears fall down on her cream-colored nightgown. She had received too much information for her tired mind and she just couldn't process it all at once. It hurt! It really hurt her. Not only emotionally, but also physically and mentally. Most devastating was the hurt she felt in her heart.

 ** _The only one responsible for my death is_ _Cora_ _. I can't even write her name, that's how much I despise her for ruining the beautiful something we had. I know you have a history with her, but if you were ready to let go, everything would have turn out differently. Again I know that you have to be a father to your child, I do not blame you Robert, but her. One day she's going to regret everything. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. Maybe not even 10 years from now. But she will, eventually._**

 _Ruining the beautiful something we had?! What beautiful thing did they have? Nothing about adultery is_ _beautiful_! Cora put one of her hands over her mouth so no one could hear her sobs. _So now I'm responsible for Jane's death!_ When Cora found her name in the paragraph she shivered and allowed more tears to fall. She couldn't believe that those sentences and those words were intended for her. No one had ever said things or thought anything that badly about her before.

 ** _Only thing I want from you, Robert, is to take care of my son. I love him unconditionally and I know that you can take care of him. Just be in his life as often as you can, a father figure, if you will, and help him to stay on his feet. He's in Ripon. I enclosed his address on the back of this paper. I'd appreciate it very much if you can tell him a few sweet words about me from time to time. You owe me that much._**

 _Father figure?_ Cora thought as more tears rolled down her red cheeks. _A few sweet words?! I don't think there's any sweet word that can particularly describe YOU!_

 ** _I hope one day you'll realize I did truly care for you. I never told you, I just held it in. I promise you're going to miss me being there, putting up with you, refusing to give up on you. And someday, when you grow old with Cora by your side, you'll turn back and I won't be there any longer, but you'll miss me._**

 ** _Forever yours,_**

 ** _Jane_**

She finally finished Jane's letter. That was difficult. It was hard for her to read it and discover that Cora was the reason Jane took away her life, but she was glad Robert didn't lie to her and she felt stupid for not trusting him.

She still held Jane's latter in her hands when she felt a pair of arms around her waist. Cora jumped at the unexpected touch and turned around to see Robert.

"You're here? I didn't hear the door!" Cora didn't know what to say to him. She was still shocked from the letter she had just read.

"Have you been crying?" Robert looked deeply into her blue eyes, fringed with red. Her cheeks were swollen and her hands trembling under his touch.

"No! What made you think that?" She weakly smiled, freed herself from his grasp, and headed to her bed.

"Cora, what's going on?" Robert crossed his arms as he watched his wife slowly walking away from him. Cora sat on the bed avoiding his gaze when she realized that she was still holding Jane's letter.

"What's that in your hands?" Robert asked and sat next to her. "Cora?"

"This is Jane's letter." Cora's demure voice broke the silence between them.

" _Jane's_ letter?" Robert extended his hand and reached for the letter. He picked it up and saw that it was addressed on him. "Wait? It has my name on it, what were you..?" Robert frowned and looked at Cora who sat next to him. "Cora! You read it?!" He raised his voice at her.

"I... I..." Cora had no words. She avoided his intense gaze as more tears slipped from her blue eyes and fell on her nightgown.

"I can't believe it!" He shouted at her, rising up from the bed.

"Why are you afraid of that letter? So what if I read it!" Her voice grew louder and all the fear was suddenly gone. Why would Robert care so much?

"I'm not afraid Cora, but this is disrespectful! It's not any of your business!"

Cora reflexively jumped onto her feet at his sentence. "Not my business! It is my business if the housemaid fell in love with my husband and he returned her feelings and then he only stayed with me because I'm carrying his child!" Cora shouted in the same tone as Robert. She felt anger building up in her body. Her eyes flashed.

"I beg your pardon?" Robert was confused at her words, not understanding anything she said.

"READ! Read it! Now! In front of me!" Cora's voice ripped through the air again.

Robert was gloomy and he reluctantly unfolded the letter and started reading while Cora stood in front of him. His eyes moved faster as he read every word Jane wrote. After a few dull minutes and awkward silence in the room, Robert finally came to a stop.

"This isn't true! I would never leave you!" His eyes filled with tears.

"She doesn't seem to understand that." She said sarcastically and went to her side of the room, removing her tears with her fingertips.

"Cora, I can't control her feelings!" Robert raised his voice at her again.

"But you still gave her hope! You admitted your feelings to her when you kissed her that night and I quote **"** ** _I know we'd do more than kissing if we hadn't been interrupted."_** Cora turned around and her voice cracked, leaving her to hiss, "I was dying in the next room and you just moved on, feeling no guilt kissing another woman!"

"NOTHING happened between us and I've proved that to you over and over again! I felt guilty kissing her and that's why I told you! Oh, how I wish I didn't!" Robert yelled so Cora can clearly hear him. His face became red and hot, but a cold sweat was breaking out on his forehead. "She's dead anyways, so what do you care?" His voice lowered as he asked her a question.

"Oh I was expecting that! So now that Jane is gone it means you're not responsible for anything you did?" Cora rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"Again, that's not true!"

"Read the letter again." Cora interrupted his sentence and started sobbing. "She's blaming me for her death and I had nothing to do with it!" Two rivers of tears started streaming down her pretty face. She brought up her hands and covered her face so Robert couldn't see.

Robert opened his mouth to speak, but Cora immediately cut him off.

"It's all your fault! Go away!" She snapped at him, removing her hands from her face.

"Cora..." He muttered, feeling fear in his body. He didn't know what would she do. _Why is she acting like that? Why doesn't she let me explain? What's happening?_

"I need to be alone, please!" Cora lowered her voice this time, heading to bed. She inhaled deeply, needing a large breath of air.

Robert couldn't bear her moods any longer. He gave in, throwing up his hands. "I can't do this anymore." He murmured and vanished from the room.

Cora watched as he disappeared from her view. She started crying again as she collapsed on the bed and curled up against the headboard. _If I burned the letter earlier nothing would've happen. Why am I so weak? Why did I tell him? Why did I have to read it?! I wish I didn't! Jane is dead and even from her grave she's destroying our relationship!_

She was lost in thoughts until an unexpected tickling inside her belly brought her back to reality. Cora weakly smiled as her hand went to touch her stomach. The baby was demanding Cora's attention with little nudges, it seemed that snapping and yelling made the little one incredibly nervous and terrified.

Cora started rubbing her hand up and down her belly, trying to soothe the baby inside, but it didn't seem to be working. The little one had felt Cora's anxiety and that disturbed the baby's deep sleep. She stopped crying and the only thing on her list now was to soothe her furious baby, but from the painful kicks she was receiving on the inside Cora knew this would be a long night.

* * *

In meantime Robert was still standing outside their bedroom door, trying hard to calm himself down. As soon as he closed the door Robert heard Cora crying again, but soon it seemed she calmed herself down. He couldn't go in the room. He couldn't leave his wife inside crying herself to sleep. _What am I to do?_ _Why does she always have to be so complicated?_ _Why does it always have to be so hard between us?_

"Brother?" Rosamund's thin voice broke his thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" He asked in confusion, looking at his younger sister who was approaching him. He could tell that she had been sleeping. Her red locks were messy and she was tying the sash on her robe.

"I heard yelling and shouting..." Her raspy voice echoed down the hall.

"Oh that... I'm sorry we woke you up." They both leaned against the wall, looking at each other. The pair of tired emerald green eyes met the furious ocean blue.

"Don't worry about me... worry about Cora!" Rosamund patted his shoulder, giving him courage. "Go inside and make it right! You can't just leave her alone."

"Cora clearly said she doesn't want to see me. You probably heard it." Robert sadly sighed. He knew he should not yell at her, especially not in her condition. It was mostly his fault. Actually, it was ALL his fault.

"She's emotional now and she's pregnant with _your_ baby Robert!" Rosamund grabbed his suit jacket with her fists and dragged him to the door. "You're not a child for God's sake! Go in there and comfort your wife. Besides this is all your fault! Kissing the maid? I thought you were better than that!" Rosamund harshly whispered and let go of him, vanishing in the hallway.

Robert knew that everything Rosamund just said was true and he couldn't bear the idea of leaving Cora like that, pretending everything was fine, not now, not anymore. He took a deep breath and slowly opened the door. Robert saw her curled up against the headboard, holding her protruding belly.

"Cora..." Robert's lovely voice filled the silent room. His voice was totally different from a few minutes earlier. Cora immediately turned her head when she heard her name mentioned.

"If you came to yell at me again then I'm going to ask you politely to leave." She said calmly.

"No! No I didn't come to yell and I apologize for snapping at you earlier. I lost my temper, please forgive me." Robert had never yelled like that before. Of course they had fights, but never to that level. He was usually calm and relaxed, but that night had awoken his darker side. He carefullly approached Cora and he sat on the bed next to her.

Cora ignored him, staring at her belly and only after what it felt like an eternity she finally said "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't look at your private things, but after all these years of marriage I didn't think there still were _mine_ or _yours,_ I thought everything was _ours_."

His heart ached again, seeing her like this. "Of course, everything is _ours_! I just overreacted and I'm really sorry."

Cora didn't reply, tears just started slipping down her eyes and she buried her face in the crook of his neck. Robert knew it was better not saying anything, so he just held her tight, comforting her with the warmth of his body and soft caresses.

"Sorry..." Cora sobbed.

"It's not your fault, my darling. Do not apologize for anything." He softly caressed her head and back with his strong arms.

"But tell me one thing please..." Cora backed away and looked at him with teary eyes. "Tell me, is it true that you'd leave me if I wasn't pregnant?"

"I'd never, ever leave you! My love for you is stronger than words can say!" Robert embraced her tightly. There were no words that could possibly express how much he loved her. "This baby is just proof how much I love you and how much we love each other." He gently whispered into her ear.

"Are we alright Robert? For all times sake?" She muttered into his shoulder.

"Of course we are!" He kissed her temple and Cora pulled away, placing her back against the headboard.

"What are you going to do about her son?" Cora sadly sighed. She didn't like Jane, but her poor son wasn't responsible for anything that happened. He was just an innocent soul in this whole tangled story.

"He's still little. Firstly, he has to finish school and than when he turns 21 I'll find him a job, but until then I'll try to contact some of Jane's family to find him a proper home. I can't just leave him on the street." Robert took a glance at the letter to read what Jane had written about her son.

Cora just nodded her head.

"I'll try to find him when we get back to Yorkshire and bring him with us to Downton." Robert decided.

"To _Downton_? In _our_ home?" Cora opened her blue eyes wide in disbelief.

"Only for a few days! Until I reach Jane's family and tell them what has happened." Robert put his hand over hers, squeezing it softly, trying hard to convince her. "Please Cora..." He wanted Cora to agree with him and he didn't want to start another silly fight over something so stupid. Downton was their home and they had to decide together.

She considered his thought for a moment. Well, the child wasn't to blame. It wasn't his fault, it was all Jane's. "Fine!" Cora let out an irritated huff.

"Thank you for supporting my decision, dear!" He leaned forward and captured her lips, sharing one short but powerful kiss.

She broke the kiss. Cora paused at the strong jolts the little one was giving inside. "Our baby's becoming very active and indeed painful..." Cora put her palm on her swollen belly, soothing her restless baby.

"I told you, you'd regret saying _'finally moving'_ sooner or later." Robert and Cora softly chuckled as his hand went to touch her stomach. They both rested their hands on her belly while the little one was making its presence felt by little kicks and swirls inside Cora's womb. It still amazed Robert that a little life was hidden inside his wife. Their own child, someone he never saw coming, not even in his dreams. Even though Robert found anatomy of all kinds gross, it still amazed him that his wife's body was compliant to accommodate their baby. Cora was carrying another human being, another soul inside her body and they both made it with their love, not because of a duty. It was something magical and unexplainable to him. All he could do in that moment was watch his wife in awe.

"It's a strong kicker already." Robert happily said as he felt little kicks under his palm. Their baby was roughly kicking inside and it made Cora frown.

"Indeed! I just hope it won't be a cricket player." Cora gently smiled, knowing how much Robert loved cricket. Her smile soon faded away and she placed another frown on her pretty face. She was tired and she wanted to go to sleep, but it seemed that the baby had different plans for that night.

"I'm going to change." Robert gave a loud chuckle, shaking his head. "You two better go to sleep. It's been a long day." Robert kissed Cora's forehead once again while she fought a war with their baby and he disappeared in the dressing room.

She placed her ivory skin on the feather pillow beneath her. Cora yawned. It was a very long day and talking to Robert had lifted a burden from her chest. She was glad Jane was in the past now. They had worked out everything at the end and that made her incredibly happy. The only thing she hoped was that everything would end up well with Jane's son, Freddie.

* * *

 _Thank you so much for reading, but a review would be nice!_


	20. Freddie

_**A/N: R &R! **Now, ready to learn something more about that little mysterious boy? Well, I hope so..._

* * *

 **CHAPTER XX**

 ** _Freddie_**

After a week, they finally returned to Downton. Robert immediately left for Ripon to find Freddie and Cora could sense that Robert wanted it all to be over. Jane was dead and the only thing that was left was Jane's son. She knew that she couldn't stop him from, so she just had to accept the fact that the little boy would live with them until Robert could reach Jane's family.

"Where is he going to sleep?" Mary curiously asked her mother who sat across her in the drawing room.

"We didn't want to give him one of the rooms on the other side where guests usually sleep nor any room upstairs with the servants. And the nursery is closed until we can fix that leak, so we decided to place him in the empty room next to ours. He's still a little child, we can't just leave him on his own." Cora said nervously. She was expecting Robert to come any second with the little boy. She had never seen Freddie, so she didn't know what to expect or how to act in front of him. She didn't know what he liked or what his interests were. Cora stopped thinking when she felt a little tickle inside her womb that made her smile and relax a little bit.

The door opened and it broke Cora's thoughts. She immediately turned around on the sofa to see her husband with a little boy enter the drawing room.

"This is our little guest." Robert softly spoke while Freddie held his hand. Freddie looked so little compared to Robert. His small, child palms were engulfed in Robert's big, muscular hands.

They stood in the middle of the room, catching the attention of the entire Crawley family. Robert knelt beside Freddie so he was on his eye level. "He will be with us for two days. I contacted his fathers mother and she's coming to take care of him."

The boy looked around the room. His big, blue eyes were wandering, carefully studying big, tall shelves covered with dusty, old books. He had never seen such luxury. It was an unbelievable experience for him to live in a castle with a royal family. Freddie lowered his eyes to examine the three beautiful ladies who sat on a creamy sofa. One of them had almost black hair, another had dirty blond, and the last one had brown hair paired with a beautiful smile. All three of them looked at him differently.

Freddie moved his blue eyes to the other sofa. He could see that the woman who sat opposite the three unfamiliar girls was older. Her hair wasn't strictly arranged and some of her brown curls carelessly touched her shoulders. The woman's lips were cherry red and her cheeks pale. But there was something about her, about that older woman. Freddie looked closely at her. He searched among her face to discover something familiar, something he missed from someone he loved very much.

 _Sapphire eyes..._

Freddie could see his mother inside that unfamiliar, strange woman. Her eyes were pure reflection of his mothers, but just a little bit brighter. He stared at her until she returned his gaze. Two pairs of blue eyes intercepted together and for a second, he mistook her for his mother.

The young boy stared at Cora and she stared back. But his stare wasn't cold and saucy, on the contrary, his gaze was loving and his eyes shone the way like he already knew her.

 _Is it the way I'm dressed?_ Cora curiously quizzed herself. _No that's not it... Is my hair messy?_ She wanted to check the curls around her neck, but she didn't dare. _I can't check, that would only draw more attention to it._ Cora rested both of her hands in her lap still looking at the young gentleman across the room. _Did I spill something on my dress? No, I skipped breakfast because I was too nervous._ She took a deep breath while those blue eyes looked lovingly at her.

Cora stared at him. He wasn't very tall for his age. Freddie's trousers were a little too big and she could see a few holes in them. It looked like he was swimming in them rather than wearing them. His dirty white shirt stood from his brown pants and his shoes were covered with some dried mud. His dark black hair was messy and his blue eyes remained fixed on Cora.

"This is my wife, Lady Grantham." Robert's voice broke the eternity of silence between them. He pointed his finger at Cora. "Go and say hello." Robert patted the boy's back and he immediately obeyed.

His dirty little shoes dragged across the expensive carpet in the drawing room. He extended his arm, searching for hers. "I'm Freddie, but you can call me Fred!" The little boy exclaimed. He looked up, flashing a toothy grin at Cora while a few stray dark hairs fell on his forehead. When he took her hand in his, he shook it powerfully. His child cheeks grew red.

"And you can call me Cora." She couldn't help but smile back at him. Cora was surprised that he wasn't shy. He was surrounded in a room full of strangers, but still kept his head high and looked her straight in the eyes.

"Over here are our daughters; Mary, Edith and Sybil." Robert continued, introducing his daughters.

"Hello Freddie!" He turned at the stranger's voice calling his name. Each one of the daughters was different and unique in her own way, but the source of the voice, the brown-haired girl, seemed the most friendly. Freddie liked her immediately. "I'm Sybil!" she said.

"Sybil, can you show him his room?" Cora smiled warmly, watching Sybil offer Freddie her hands.

"It'd be my pleasure." Sybil instantly stood up and guided the little boy out of the room. Mary and Edith followed shortly after, leaving Cora and Robert alone in the drawing room.

Robert took a seat next to his wife on the sofa. He looked at the closed doors and his eyes lit up. "He's a very sweet little gentleman, isn't he?"

"Indeed, he is!" Cora timidly smiled at her husband. She have never seen such joy onto his face. Robert smiled broadly. He had grown quite close with the little boy in just one day.

"Later, we can go out for a walk and bring Fred with us. I'll show him all around Downton." Robert smiled and clapped his hands together in excitement.

Cora noticed that Robert had started calling Freddie by his nickname and that he had a lot of interest in him. Robert recounted the day's trip to Ripon and back. Freddie had been very chatty and he was great company. He told Robert about everything he liked and disliked about his school, his family and friends. Freddie had also mentioned his mother Jane, but Robert didn't tell Cora that.

"And now..." Robert happily continued. "I have to find him some proper clothes. Have you seen his trousers? They are full of holes and I can hardly imagine how old they are... And his muddy shoes and his dirty shirt... I'll bring Sybil with me to help me choose something for him." Robert jumped onto his feet, unable to contain his excitement. "And while we're in the village would you please tell Anna to prepare him a bath? I want him to be clean before dinner. I don't want Mama to see him like this. You know how much of a perfectionist she is." Robert leaned forward and kissed Cora's forehead as a goodbye.

"Of course." She smiled softly when she felt his lips on her bare skin. It felt amazing to have him close to her.

Robert left the room quickly. Cora stayed behind. She repeated the whole conversation in her head over and over again. Robert was so excited and happy to have this little boy in his house. He really put a lot of effort into Freddie and she could tell that Robert really loved that boy, even after knowing him for a day. He had become like a son to him and that hurt Cora. She wasn't jealous, but disappointed in herself. Even deceased, Jane offered Robert something new... Something Cora couldn't provide in the decades they had spent together.

Jane had given him _a son_. She had made Robert a father of a boy for two days at least. The two weren't connected by blood, but by body, soul, and mind. They had that father-son connection.

Cora felt like her heart had been ripped out. She felt as if there was a thick grey cloud surrounding her. She felt a terrible weight upon her shoulders. It was as if a giant burden had been laid on her and she couldn't straighten or catch her breath entirely. Cora felt pressure! Huge pressure upon her. She felt scared. She felt that she'd fail and once again disappoint Robert.

A single tear rolled down her cheek.

She felt like sobbing, but she had cried out all her bitter tears a long time ago.

The tightness in her chest felt like a bear hug, keeping oxygen from getting to her lungs. Would she ever escape from this nightmare?


	21. Never Good Enough

_**A/N:** The whole point with Freddie's presence is that to help Cora realise something and let go of her fears... __Now find out how_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XXI**

 _ **Never good enough**_

Cora sat outside their home on the wooden bench. It was a beautiful evening. The sun seemed to drown slowly in the depths of the horizon, and it drew warm colors on the puffy clouds above her. It was a peaceful scene to bask in after a hot, noisy, and tiresome day.

Cora removed her eyes from the soothing sun and studied the occupants of the garden. Robert and Freddie were sitting on bright green grass and playing with Isis. Robert's golden dog wagged her tail in excitement when Freddie threw a stick for her to fetch.

Isis was running into the sunset, happily searching for the missing stick. Cora overheard her husband loudly praising Freddie.

"Excellent pitching!" Robert rubbed the little boy's head, messing up Freddie's dark hair. The little boy giggled. He and Sybil had gone into the village and purchased a few formal suits. Sybil had also insisted on buying play-clothes, casual shoes, shirts, and trousers. They came back home with their arms full of bags and baskets.

Cora could see pure joy on her husband's face. He was acting so relaxed. Robert had shed his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his white shirt to his elbows. It was shocking, really, because he always looked so professional with his many layers of clothing.

That was a Robert she hadn't seen in quite a long time. It was just Robert! Without any title, without his royal manners and strict composure. That was a Robert she only saw in their bedroom, within their private four walls and late at night. She never thought that this side of his personality would see bright daylight.

Robert rose from the dirty ground. He chuckled and patted Freddie's shoulder, leaving the boy on the grass with Isis for company. Robert walked towards her, brushing remaining bits of dirt and grass from his clothes. He had a half smile on his features but Cora could tell that inside he was bursting from happiness.

Robert collapsed on the bench next to his wife, letting out a satisfied sigh.

"Having fun?" Cora smiled when she saw how lively and joyfully he looked. His eyes shone with new energy and happiness.

"Oh, so much fun! You can't even imagine!" Robert smiled back at her and gently placed a soft kiss upon her rosy cheek.

Cora looked into the distance. The sun had sunk lower, hiding behind the tall trees.

"But are you having fun? You seem quiet today." Robert pulled her closer and she buried in the warmth of his body as they cuddled on the small bench in their garden.

"I am alright." Cora reached for his hand, entwining their fingers. "I just missed you."

"Oh, my darling! I'm so sorry. I'm trying to keep Fred entertained." Robert clenched Cora's hand. "We'll have plenty of time later."

"I'm sure we will." Cora couldn't help but notice how Robert didn't want to waste a single minute of the two days that were left with Freddie. He enjoyed his company and even preferred the boy over his own wife, but she tried not to take that personally.

The sun's final rays glimmered in the growing darkness as the bright colors of the clouds faded. The pale moon gradually grew in brilliance. The sun faded from the sky, leaving two lovers under a million stars.

"Fred! We're going inside. It's getting late." Robert raised his voice to call his dog. "Isis! Come here, girl!"

Robert stood up, helping Cora stand as well. She immediately looped her arm through his as they walked down the path.

"You really love him, huh?" Cora quizzed her husband, flashing a curious look at him.

"It's hard to say love, but like." Robert smiled uncomfortably, knowing that this was Jane's son they were talking about.

* * *

The dinner went pretty well for the Crawley family. Violet didn't particularly like the young boy eating dinner with her family, but for the first time ever she didn't complain... _much_!

Cora said goodbye to her mother-in-law and kissed her gently on the cheek before entering the house again. It was the truth... Cora didn't like Violet very much, but she had to act polite in front of her. Violet was mother of her husband and grandmother to her children... _and she was family._ Since the last argument they had, Violet haven't dared to make any nasty comments about Cora. She didn't want to cross her again.

Cora headed upstairs in search for her husband, but unsuccessfully. She looked in their bedroom... _No, not here_. She peeked inside his dressing room. _Neither here._ Cora shook her head in irritation. She walked in another room, finding no one inside. _I'd be surprised if I actually found him here_. She let out a huff and continued walking down the hallway. _Sometimes I really wish we had a smaller house. It's like you can run away and still be at home._

Cora was pulled back from her thoughts when she heard soft, but tiny laughter coming from one room. She immediately stopped her feet from moving forward and listened to it a little bit more.

She leaned on a white, wooden door listening cute giggling coming from the room. Cora backed away when she realized which room that was.

 _Freddie's..._

But Cora was too curious, too interested to just let go. She put her gentle palm on the doorknob and slowly, but silently opened the door of the room and scenery watched through tiny space it release. She didn't want her presence to be known.

Cora looked across the room and the view she received back was strange and unfamiliar to her. It was unusual to see Robert recklessly sitting on the carpeted floor with Freddie next to him... and they were playing together.

She looked at the little boy who looked fragile and pale under the dim light of lamps positioned all over the room. He was lying on his stomach, playing with wooden trucks. His black hair and blue eyes reflected from the light in the room. Cora watched them for a while. They were enjoying the loneliness of each other's company and letting out " _vrooom_ " and " _chooo_ " noises.

Freddie giggled the same way he did a few moments earlier when Cora first heard them. Little guy snapped up his head and looked at Robert. He looked back at him with loving gaze... a gaze he tried to conceal today's afternoon in the garden to make Cora comfortable.

Little boy extended his tiny hand and placed a truck in Robert's palm. "You can be the police person!" Freddie said smiling, his blue eyes glistening.

"Gladly!" Robert exclaimed and let out a loud _vrooom_.

Cora couldn't watch them any longer. She carefully closed the doors and with hurriedly steps she disappeared in her bedroom. The same feelings she had this morning came running back at her and this time they were stronger and it hurt much more after seeing that scene.

When Cora finally reached her bedroom, she slammed the door behind and a strong, harsh, painful cry escaped from her throat. She finally let it out and it ripped through the silence in the room.

A few moments later she found herself bitterly crying on the armchair. Cora put her palms on her face, blocking the light as she poured her feelings out. She saw darkness... darkness that would soon swallow her. Cora sobbed in her hands, drowning in her own fears of not conceiving an heir. This mindset was eating her from the inside

That was the only thing he ever wanted... _a son_ , and Cora couldn't give it to him. She felt like a broken machine. She had never produced Robert an heir, a son and despite what he said, she knew that he was disappointed. He had really wanted a son, but after all these years he stopped hoping for his own sake... to avoid a broken heart.

Their bedroom door opened and it was him. It was Robert. He was standing on the door wearing a happy smile across his face, but when he found his wife crying and her face buried in her palms Robert's smile vanished and concern replaced it.

"Cora!" Robert gasped, running towards her. He knelt on one knee and placed his hands on her face, removing her palms. "Heavens! Why are you crying? Are you alright? Is something wrong with the baby?" He cupped her wet and salty face in his hands. Her blue eyes were tinged with red and her cheeks flushed pink.

"Will you ever be able to forgive me?" Cora sobbed even harder, searching for an answer in his concerned eyes.

"What are you talking about?" He caressed her face with his thumbs as transparent tears slipped from the corners of her eyes. "God, Cora! Stop scaring me!"

"I saw you with him. In fact... all day today! You're so happy and I've never given you that kind of happiness." Cora exhaled out loud. She felt a little bit of a relief from sharing her scary thoughts with him. "I never gave you a son! I'm a broken machine! You married an incapable American woman who has disappointed you!" She didn't watch her words. Cora spoke from her heart and soul. She poured her feeling out to him, saying everything that bothered her.

"You're talking nonsense!" Robert let go of her face and embraced her tightly. Cora lowered her chin onto his shoulder, breathing heavily. His hand moved across her back, trying hard to lessen the burden from her shoulders.

"What if I disappoint you again?" Cora grabbed his suit jacket with her fists, waiting for an answer.

"First of all, you've never disappointed me! You can't disappoint me! I love each of our daughters! They're something beautiful and I can't imagine my life without any of them!" Robert pulled apart and looked at his sobbing wife.

"What if it's another girl? I won't be able to look at you ever again." Her eyes filled with tears and her cheeks instantly changed color from soft pink to fiery red. Cora turned her head and closed her eyes, pushing more tears on the outside. "And your mother! She's going to torture me! Saying that I failed and that I'm an incapable American fool who can't produce an heir for you!" Her eyes grew misty. She tried to stop crying, she really did, but one perfect round drop edged down her swollen face and melted on her dress. "That I'm a disappointment!" Burying her head in her hands again out of shame and sorrow, more salty droplets seeped from her blue eyes. She looked weak but even worse, she really felt weak, she felt powerless and all she wanted to do was to cry.

"Oh Cora, you're not a disappointment and who cares about what my mother will say?!" Robert's hand traveled up until he reached her hands and slowly uncovered her face again. With his thumbs he removed her bitter tears and planted a kiss on her forehead. "So what if it's a girl! I'm going to love her either way! She's going to remind me of you every time I look at her. You have given me an amazing family and I'm really grateful for that."

"Do you really mean it or you're just saying that to make me feel better?" Her sobs finally came to an end and her eyes stopped producing tears as she looked straight into his eyes.

"I really mean it darling!" She received another sweet kiss on her forehead. "It's out of our power Cora. After our first accident, we have been blessed once again and I really could not care less if it's a girl or a boy. The pain I experienced when you miscarried was something unbearable and I don't want to feel it again. That's why I was so scared when you fell down the stairs. I couldn't bear the pain." Cora was taken aback. He had never told her any of this. She never knew! "Besides, this child is a miracle. Someone we never saw coming." Robert remembered how much they tried to conceive another child after Sybil was born, but Cora just couldn't get pregnant again. When she finally did, they lost it and after that they never expected to become parents again.

"Oh Robert! You never told me that!" Cora gasped at his words.

"I didn't want to open an old wounds." He placed both of his hands on each of her knees. "We need a name." Robert changed the topic as fast as he could. "Any suggestions, darling?" He carefully picked up her gentle hand and planted a kiss on her knuckles.

"If it's a boy..." Her lips curled into a perfect, exciting smile. "What about William? It's old-fashioned like our names, but still very beautiful."

"Well, we're good at doing old-fashioned." Robert started giggling. "I like it."

"Robert!" She playfully rolled her blue eyes. His words brought a smile to her face. "Let's get serious." Cora teased him, laughing softly when she felt his eyes piercing her face.

"Serious, huh?" He chuckled, embracing Cora's petite frame, unconsciously shielding her from the rest of the world.

"I can't believe it." Cora smiled, pressing her lips against his, leaving a sweet, tingling little kiss. " _Satisfied?_ "

"For now..." Robert wickedly smiled and kissed her forehead.

"So, now we need a middle name?" Cora grinned, wondering about his recommendations.

"How about Frederick?"

"I don't like it much." She shook her head in disapproval. If it's going to be a boy then he was going to have a perfect name.

"Hmm... Then, what about Patrick?"

"No.." Cora frowned and protested.

"You're really picky!" He laughed at her. "Oh well, it doesn't have to be Patrick. So, what do you think about Edward?" He raised his eyebrows, hopping Cora would approve of this one.

"Much better." Cora nodded and an overwhelming smile spread across her face. "We have it... William Edward Crawley."

"Sounds pretty good." Robert kissed Cora's red cheek that this time was the product of unexpected happiness. She was glowing with joy. He could read her like an open book. She wore her emotions on her face.

"And if it's a girl..." Cora sighed.

"I like the name Victoria. What do you think?" Robert soothingly caressed her caramel curls, trying hard to convince her that it'd be fine if they received a daughter.

"It's beautiful. You have picked a good one this time." She smiled. "And what about Eleanor as middle name?"

"Whatever you what, my dear." Robert warmly smiled at the idea of getting a daughter again. He would love it no mater if it was a girl or a boy, but getting another beautiful, intelligent and talented daughter would be great.

"Victoria Eleanor Crawley." Another wave of happiness and warmth washed through Robert. He could see her right in front of his eyes. Pale skinned, brown or blonde little lady running around the house and watching with big blue, green or even chocolate brown eyes the world around her in wonder. Cora produced all the magic when it came to the beauty of their children. They were all special and the little one would be too.

* * *

 _ **Review** because I love hearing your thoughts! (I  accept Anon. reviews, too! So you do not need an account to review.)_

 _Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I promise happy updates from now on... Well, until my evil side comes out..._


	22. Christmas Eve

_Thank you Gretchie for being an amazing beta and correcting all my corny stories and chapters. You're awesome._

 _So, we're around three/four chapters away from ending this 'happy' story._

 _Now, enjoy!_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XXII**

 ** _Christmas Eve_**

 **Winter: December 24th**

Rosamund came to Downton to celebrate Christmas with her family. Freddie was no longer there, his grandma had picked him up ages ago, but Robert promised that when the time came, he'd find him a proper job.

It was winter, a cold, yet beautiful time of the year. The snow was white and it fell in brilliant crystals upon the ground, shining as it was exposed to the warm sun.

Cora was sitting in her cozy bedroom near the fireplace, counting the presents she bought in London with Rosamund and writing Christmas cards to her family and the servants. She was trying to remain calm, as she was expecting her mother to come any minute. It was Christmas Eve and the girls were downstairs, decorating the Christmas tree and the house with colorful ornaments they had found somewhere around the attic. The house was encircled about in that adorable Christmas spirit Cora loved to feel every year. She was really looking forward to tomorrow.

The door flew open and Robert came into their bedroom. The view he found there was enchanting. His now heavily pregnant wife was sitting on the armchair nearby the fireplace. She was surrounded with all the shiny presents around her. Her hand slowly moved across the paper while she was signing the cards. The warm crackling of the fire made for a beautiful background noise. In that moment he felt like an intruder, spying on her that way, but it was so lovely to see that look of pure joy on her face, her smile and the way her hand slightly caressed the bump.

"You're staring..." Cora smiled softly, not moving her gaze from the card in her hands. She could feel his eyes wandering on her body. The past months haven't been so easy for Cora. Her mood swings and all her crazy hormones were driving her insane, but Robert had been amazing with her. He was an incredible lover and more importantly, a patient husband. The way he cuddled her and their baby made her melt every time. It was one of the most reassuring things, hearing his deep voice talking to her belly, caressing and kissing it. He always found a way to comfort her when she was afraid or worried - even sometimes when she was mad - plates flew but he remained calm!

"You're beautiful!" She was far more than that, but alas, Robert could not summon words to describe how radiant she truly was. Beautiful would have to suffice. Robert moved and sat on the chair opposite her, enjoying the view in front of his eyes. He remembered very well that little ' _incident'_ with the plates, but Robert knew there was nothing in the world his wife loved more than their children and she loved the little one very much as well.

"Were you spying on me?" She signed the last card " _From Lord and Lady Grantham with great love..."_ and placed it under the red bow on one of the giftboxes. She gently chuckled when she rose her gaze and saw how sheepish her husband looked.

"Me? _Never!_ " He faked a cough, playfully avoiding her eyes.

"Hmm, you don't convince me." Cora slowly moved the gifts on her side so she could free herself from the armchair. "My mother is coming today. I hope you didn't forget that."

"Oh how could I forget... a Christmas without your mother is not _Christmas_!" Robert tested Cora's patience.

"Robert, I'm serious!" Cora stood up and headed towards the doors, ready to go, but Robert caught her arm. He pulled her closer and hugged her from behind, resting his hands on her belly. Her perfume in his nostrils only made him want to caress her more. She was his everything, his only one. Forever and ever. Until death separated them. And perhaps even death itself is incapable of separating two people who truly love each other.

"Robert!" Cora protested and turned around to face him. "You're like a child sometimes! So childish and immature!" She cupped his face with her soft hands and left a gentle kiss on his lips.

"But you still love me." He smiled at the heavenly feeling she always managed to leave on his lips. Robert leaned to capture her lips one more time and she playfully tried to escape it, but failed.

"Robert!" Cora giggled under his lips, playfully slapping his shoulder. "Let's go downstairs. She should be here any second."

"I can hardly wait..." He sadly sighed, but she looked at him sternly, a warning to behave.

"It will be the most terrific fun!"

"Oh I don't doubt that!" Robert rolled his eyes and followed his wife downstairs.

* * *

Cora stepped out of her home in the cold winter night. Goosebumps spread across her body rapidly as she tighten her winter coat around her. The short walk was brisk and refreshing. Snowflakes gently kissed her red cheeks and immediately melted, leaving little warm drops of water behind.

Car lights approached from the distance. "Here comes an _American_." Mary sarcastically muttered, imitating Violet. Sybil and Edith giggled. The car pulled up and a familiar redhead burst out of the car and approached her daughter and hugged her tightly, kissing both of her warm cheeks. "My dearest Cora!" Martha may have been small, but she had an unbelievable strength within herself. Martha pulled away just to admire Cora's pregnant belly. "You look so..."

"... fat." Cora continued Martha's sentence with an expression of sadness on her pretty pink face.

"No! On the contrary, you look magnificent! You're glowing! " Martha smiled and rubbed one of Cora's shoulders. She turned around to greet her son-in-law. Martha really loved Robert. He was a great husband to her daughter and she could see how much Cora loved him, but Martha never found herself on the same page with his mother, Violet. They could _stand_ each other if necessary, but for no longer than a week or two.

"Well, thank you for trying to make me feel better." Cora smiled through her chattering teeth. The wind tossed the snowflakes with more force against her face. The frisky, playful wind had turned into a snarling beast hurling tiny pellets of pain at her stinging cheeks. The coat, gloves and hat had seemed so warm when she had left her home, but now they offered no protection from the storm.

"Darling you're cold, aren't you?" Robert's now very familiar concerned look crept across his face. His big, blue eyes opened wide. "Let's go inside, dinner will be ready soon." Robert protectively wrapped one of his strong arms around his wife's waist and led her into the house, their daughters and Martha following.

* * *

The big wooden table placed in the middle of their luxurious dining room was full of people dear to Cora. Well, _mostly_ dear... Robert sat opposite her, on his left was Cora's mother and on his right sat his own mother. Cora could only imagine how he felt; like a melting candle between the two fiery people.

"So... How long are you planning on staying here?" Violet's leaned on the table and eyed the _dear friend_ that sat beside her son.

" _Mama!_ " Violet's comment was followed by a couple of shushes and a few embarrassed looks from both Rosamund and Robert, but Violet didn't pay them any mind.

"Well, Cora is supposed to deliver mid-January so I'll stay until February to get acquainted with my grandchild. I didn't come all the way from America for only a few days." Martha noticed that her son-in-law had frozen at the word _February_ , but Robert didn't dare to make a sound. Martha was also taunting Violet with her sentence and she had a mischievous yet winning smile on her face.

"F-February..." Violet was caught off guard. Her jaw almost dropped open and she was once again speechless. "How extraordinary!" She faked a smile and leaned her back against the chair to catch some air. _Having an American in the house for almost three months. Good God, help us all..._

Cora opened her mouth with the intention to speak, but she pursed them together instead, feeling a throbbing pain in her lower back. The pain was a surprise, but it was also wonderful sign that her baby would be coming soon. It was inevitable, the day was coming whether they wanted it or not.

"Anyways..." Martha turned her head to Cora across the table in wonder. "What do you think it's going to be, a boy or a girl?" She asked with a soft smile. Her mind was full of questions, but that was the most important one.

It suddenly hit Robert and Cora that the last time they had discussed their baby's gender was when had Cora broke down because of Freddie. Until now, their minds had been too busy, immersed in the little details of the matter, concerned about the small occurrences... that they had forgotten about the basic details of their child.

"I know what it's going to be!" A chipper voice from the end of the table broke the silence and brought Cora and Robert back to reality again. Sybil happily smiled and tilted her head back. "But I won't be telling." Sybil let out a giggle and everyone in the room shared the laugh with her. It wasn't very hard to guess what Sybil had on her mind.

"Just tell them you think it's a boy!" Mary rolled her chocolate brown eyes at Sybil's last sentence.

"How do you know?" Martha faked a frown and looked at Sybil again.

"She doesn't know, that's the whole point!" Mary continued in a sassy tone. As the years had progressed she was becoming more and more like her grandmother Violet, wicked and sarcastic.

"It's five of you against us two males already, not including Mama and Cora's mother!" Matthew joined in. "I vote for some much-needed balance in this house of... _women_." Matthew and Robert exchange horrified looks, but soon burst into laughter.

But Robert stared at his wife, spellbound at the idea and Cora couldn't help but look at him with loving eyes, knowing his mind was envisioning the images of a future son. They were both beaming with joy, but still there was a little unpleasant, worried feeling inside Cora... a feeling she always had when she was pregnant; _What if it's a girl?_ _They'll all be disappointed, won't they? I'll disappoint Robert again?_ _I can't listen to Violet's rude comments about not producing an heir! "An incapable American that can't conceive an heir for Robert!" That Robert won't have his pure blood, his direct descendant as an heir of Downton._ The voice in the back of Cora's head kept nagging.

Robert had totally different thoughts running through his head... _A son_. _His very own son... a son with Cora._ He felt warm inside.

Cora was trying to join a conversation, but she pressed her lips tightly, becoming a little concerned with the uncomfortable jolts and pain enveloping her back and lower stomach... It felt strangely familiar. _It just can't be possible_... It was too soon.

"Well, we'll find out very soon!" Martha smiled and eyed Cora, knowing less than a month was left until the arrival of another precious grandchild. "I really miss the pitter-patter of little feet walking and running around the house." Martha let out a sigh, remembering Mary, Edith and Sybil when they were little. _They have grown up way too fast!_

"Do you have a name?" Rosamund softly smiled and looked at both Robert and Cora.

"If it's a girl it'll be Victoria Eleanor and if it's a boy it'll be William Edward." Cora faked a smile, ignoring the pain she felt.

"I love it!" Rosamund smiled at Cora. She couldn't wait for another niece or nephew.

The dinner continued casually until Cora spoke up once again. "I'm not feeling well, I think I shall go to bed."

"Already? But it's Christmas Eve!" Sybil exclaimed.

"Would you like me to come with you?" Both Robert and Martha said in unison.

"No need, but I'd like Rosamund to join me." Cora slowly turned her head to the redheaded woman across the table, waiting for an answer.

"Of course!" Rosamund jumped at her request. Placing her white napkin on the table, she headed out of the room with Cora. Once they were out of earshot and away from their family's curious eyes Rosamund softly asked what the matter was.

"Cora, how are you feeling?" They walked up the stairs and Rosamund placed her hand gently on Cora's back, moving it soothingly.

"I see no point in lying to you." Cora turned her head to her lively sister-in-law. "I feel a terrible pain in my lower back." She inhaled deeply, hoping more air would compensate for the pain.

Rosamund connected the facts in her head and made her own diagnosis. "It's way too early!" She said, panicked, and she opened the door to Cora's bedroom.

"I know!" Her soft voice said in almost a whisper. "Please help me undress. I don't want to wait for O'Brien." Cora took a few steps and stopped before the mirror.

Without another word, Rosamund started unbuttoning the back of Cora's dress and handed her a silky nightgown.

"I'm really concerned, Cora. If the baby is born earlier than expected there could be complications." Rosamund muttered, fixing her nightgown from behind.

"I don't even want to think about it." Her voice shivered at the thought of something going wrong.

"Call me immediately if you think the baby is coming." Rosamund squeezed her shoulder, giving her courage. Cora just nodded in response, looking at her reflection in the mirror. Rosamund was almost to the door when her brother entered the room.

"What happened? Is everything alright?" Robert's concerned look once again showed up on his face.

"You should tell Robert." Rosamund told Cora, standing in the doorway. Cora looked away. It was hard to hide anything from Robert, but she didn't want him to worry.

"Tell me what?" Robert looked from Rosamund to Cora, curiously eyeing his wife. He still stood clueless in the doorway, his brow expectantly furrowed.

"Your baby is coming..." Rosamund smiled and patted Robert's shoulder before leaving the room.


	23. Too Late To Apologise

**A/N:** _I'm really grateful for your wonderful reviews and support. And about the chapter... I have nothing to say, the title says everything._

 _Gretchie... Thank you for being an amazing beta_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XXIII**

 ** _Too Late To Apologise_**

He was standing in the hallway, holding his pocket watch as he had back during the old times when he was in the war. He remembered how impatient he was when his Cora wasn't with him. Dark nights seemed longer and the days moved at a snail's pace. He remembered those times only too well...

Robert was staring at that pocket watch, but it seemed the time had stopped. It stopped the moment Rosamund had told him his baby was coming. He immediately called Clarkson to prepare Cora for the unpleasant and painful hours ahead.

It was very early Christmas morning and he had been determined to stay awake the whole night. He couldn't sleep in his dressing room while his beloved wife was be in terrible pain to bring _his_ baby onto this world. He just couldn't allow that. It wasn't fair. He had paced all around Downton in an effort to keep himself concious.

The hallway was eerily quiet, more and more anxious. His eyes nervously focused on the hands of his old pocket watch as it measured the time it would take for Clarkson to leave their bedroom.

 _Finally..._

The big wooden doors of their master bedroom flew open and he pushed his watch back into his pocket, storming inside.

Cora was peacefully lying on the bed. Robert smiled at her and she smiled back. The memories of Sybil's birth were suddenly coming back to him. It was one of the most wonderful things they were able to go thorugh together; bring life into the world. He took a seat next to her and squeezed her hand.

Cora only managed to stare at him as she rested on their enormous bed, leaning against the soft, white feathered pillows that were propped against the elegant headboard. She was feeling good; the contractions were barely noticable and thankfully not agonizing... yet. Robert looked as if he was about to pass out.

"Are you in pain, darling?" That was the first thing he could ask, remembering that Sybil's birth wasn't pleasant either. He still could hear Cora's screams echoing through the house and it had happened so many years earlier.

"Nothing unbearable." Cora softly smiled, feeling his hands on hers. He was worried, she could see it. His facial expression said it all.

Robert turned his head and looked at the man who was preparing to leave the room. "Clarkson, why is it happening this early? She still had a couple of weeks to go." His voice tensed and his eyes flashed with concern.

"There are various reasons, but strong feelings such as concern, fear, stress, excitement can cause the baby to arrive early... It could be anything though." Clarkson explained while Cora looked away and carefully thought about his words for a second. Every single feeling he mentioned she had felt yesterday.

"But the baby will be healthy?" Robert's voice was trembling, but he tried with all his force to conceal it.

"For now the baby should be alright, and if the birth goes well, I guarantee there is no reason to worry."

"That's a relief." He harshly exhaled, feeling a giant burden leaving his chest.

"I'll come back in two hours to check on Lady Grantham I have a couple of other patients." Clarkson pulled the doorknob with intention to leave. "By midnight..." He looked at his watch. It was barely 7 in the morning. "I think you will have your baby in your arms." Clarkson smiled and vanished from their views.

Cora smiled from ear to ear at the thought of their baby. She turned her head to look at Robert. He still held her hand and his thumb rubbed over her knuckles.

"You are worried." Cora pointed out, paying close attention to his lips. Whenever they were tightly pressed into a thin line, it meant he was worried.

"I'm not..." He managed to smile sweetly at her. He let go of her hand and carefully put his palm on Cora's belly.

"I'm sorry I spoiled Christmas for you all." Cora looked away and sighed. "This was the last thing I thought would happen."

"What are you talking about?" Robert's eyebrows furrowed at her sentence. "This is the best gift ever... It's even better than the present you gave me last year." He wickedly smiled, recalling memories of the evening spent after Christmas in their bedroom...

"Robert!" Cora slapped his wrist. Even if she didn't want to remember those moments right now she couldn't resist. A few memories flew into her mind. "Go down and have Christmas with our family. I'll be alright and besides, this whole thing could take a while." She smiled at him, knowing he would fight her.

"I'm not planning on leaving you alone." He shook his head in disapproval. "What if something happens?"

"I'll ring and everything will be just fine." Cora's sweet voice spoke up and her palm went to caress Robert's slightly red cheek. "And Clarkson will be back soon. There's no need to worry."

"Fine." Robert gently took her palm that tenderly caressed his cheek and kissed it. Rising up from their bed and heading towards the door he exited the room, leaving Cora alone.

* * *

The entire Crawley family, excluding Cora, were in the entrance hall, swarming around the Christmas tree. The red ornaments and garlands were decorating the wooden rail above them and the Christmas tree looked so extraordinary. It stood there adorned with shiny jewels.

"I wonder what Mama bought in London." Sybil happily smiled and eyed Rosamund who stood in front of her. Sybil caught the attention of everyone in the room and all eyes were focused on the middle sized box in her hands. She tossed colourful wrapping paper on the armchair beside her and unwrapped her gift. "This is stunning!" Sybil exclaimed, touching the soft fabric of her new dress.

The dress was pearly white, decorated with some lace and shiny details. She took it in her hands and felt silk material sliding between her fingers. "This is more than _stunning_!" Her jaw dropped open when she examined the whole dress. Her mother really had a sense of fashion.

"I'm going to go thank her! This is so beautiful!" Sybil instantly jumped onto her feet, carefully placing the dress back into the small box and with hurried steps went upstairs to thank her mother.

"Darling Sybil..." Mary let out a soft chuckle while watching her sister disappear to the floor above her.

"Let's open the next one!" Edith said aloud, taking another present into her arms. "This one says... _for grandmama_." She read from the card that was pushed under the little bow.

"For which one, my dear?" Violet demanded that Edith check the card again, exchanging a gloomy look with Martha.

"I don't know. It doesn't say." Edith twisted the gift a few times, checking again to see if there was any other signature. "No... Nothing." She mischievously smiled and handed the gift to Martha. "It seems that you two will have to decide who it's for."

Everyone looked at two older women who stood in the middle of the room. Everybody knew that these two ladies couldn't even eat at the same table and they couldn't begin to fathom how they would agree about the present. But it was funny. Especially to Mary and Edith. The only thing these two young girls could think at the moment was ' _Sybil has no idea what she's missing...'_

Between the laughter and soft arguing, a little tiny voice from upstairs filled the entrance hall below.

It was Sybil who leaned on the rail and grabbed the attention of everyone beneath. Her face was covered with concern and she breathed heavily, her chest rapidly rising and falling and her fists clenching the wooden rail.

"Mama is not doing well!" She said before rushing back inside her mothers room. Sybil's words still echoed through the house and suddenly everyone went quiet.

* * *

Christmas night had already fallen and bright stars were crowding the dark sky in Downton. It was a peaceful night, so full of promises and hopes in the Crawley home.

A nurse handed Rosamund a white marble bowl and a bag of ice. She emptied the bag of ice into the bowl and placed it on Cora's night table. Rosamund dipped a white cloth into the bowl of cold icy water before wringing it and gently pressing the soothingly cool fabric on Cora's face. Small beads of sweat had dampened her dark hair and they were now adorning her forehead after long hours of struggling labour.

The pain had become so deep and intense that even as the strong woman she was, Cora was fighting hard against her desire to weep in pain and frustration.

Rosamund was sitting on the bed beside her sister-in-law and one the other side Martha sat on the chair. Cora squeezed her hand with all the force she had within herself.

"I can't..." Her head now lay on a wet, sweaty pillow beneath her and she shook from side to side. Cora almost cried as Clarkson urged her to push once again and dear Rosamund helped her to lean forward.

"Yes, you can." Clarkson softly encouraged her while his hands rested on Cora's knees. "You've already done this three times."

"You are the strongest person I've ever known." Rosamund joined Clarkson in encouraging her sister-in-law... but her sentence was true. Rosamund truly admired Cora. She looked at her like at the sister she never had. Cora was her dear friend. Rosamund could tell her anything and knew that she wouldn't tell anyone. It was hard for her to watch Cora in such pain, but she knew how strong that woman was and without any doubt Rosamund knew that Cora would succeed, one way or another.

Tenderly, Martha leaned forward, closer to her daughter. With her fingertips, she brushed the side of her face with loving care, trying to comfort her. "You are so very strong, my darling Cora. Of course you can do this..." Martha felt tears prickling in the corners of her eyes. Cora had been struggling to bring her and Robert's child into the world for almost a day. The pain became unbearable and Cora couldn't take it any longer.

"You can do it." Clarkson spoke gently from the end of the bed before preparing her to push one more time. Carefully, he spread her knees a little further.

A lot of images of Cora's life ran swiftly through her mind, recalling the long journey that took her to this point. Images of that passionate night she shared with Robert when they conceived this baby. Images of the housemaid who unknowingly tried to take Robert's heart and ruin their future. Images of her family around the Christmas tree and her husband with who she was destined to spend the rest of the eternity. The day when she said ' _I do_ ' in that ancient church, Cora signed up for a new wonderful life; a life of freedom, love and hope... and a child that they never anticipated coming. A little life that had held together the compelling love and wholesome passion they held for one another. This little life was theirs, a gift of love Cora had been called upon to help bring into the world.

Another contraction ripped through her as soon as the previous one was over. It was agonizingly intense, worse than she remembered with her previous children. With one hand she clenched the sheets and with another hand squeezed Martha's as hard as possible while a horrific sound escaped from her throat and echoed through the room, tearing apart the silence. Her whole body stiffened and Cora found herself crying in pain.

Rosamund and Martha shared concerned looks.

"Take a deep breath. Try to relax." Clarkson softly told Cora before wrapping her legs with the bedcovers, making a signal to Martha to join him in the washroom. Something was terribly wrong and it was delaying the birth, putting Cora in unbearable pain.

Rosamund immediately called Sybil, who was standing outside of the room. Sybil instantly went to her mother's side, whispering words of comfort. Rosamund knew that something was wrong and she tried to dismiss the most terrifying images of the possible future.

* * *

Robert sat downstairs along with Violet. Neither of them dared to make a sound. The only sound that they heard that night was Cora's deep screams.

He clutched the crystal glass filled with bittersweet whiskey in his fists, trying hard to calm his nerves. Every time he took a sip of it, a burning sensation spread rapidly through his throat, leaving an after-feeling of warmth and comfort.

The only thing that could be heard that winter Christmas night was Cora's screams of pain. He couldn't help but think how he put her through this pain. His darling wife, his Cora was in misery because of him.

He was sitting in the library and still could hear her muffled screams of agony echoing through the abbey. Her pain was his pain, but he had to remain strong for her. She was going through so much more pain than he was. It still amazed him how one night of passion led to where they were now...

 _Why is it taking so long? Something is horribly wrong. I know it, I can feel it!_ Robert let out an irritated huff and stood up from the armchair. He couldn't stay in one spot any longer. Robert nervously made his way to the table to pour himself more whiskey. He thought that an alcohol would make it easier... that it would reduce the pain... or guilt he felt inside his soul, his body. His guilt was eating him alive and suddenly it hit him like a train. He recalled how badly he treated his wife, his Cora.

He put her through so much pain with that wretched housemaid and his Cora _forgave_ him even though she died a little inside every time Jane's name was mentioned. He went to London without an explanation, but his Cora _forgave_ him even though he escaped when she needed him the most. He was kissing the other woman and almost slept with her while his wife was on her deathbed fighting for dear life, but Cora begged him for _his forgiveness_ , thinking that it was her fault because she neglected him. Cora _blamed_ herself and _apologised_ to him when she read Jane's letter, but it was still Robert's fault. He fought with her and yelled, shouted, screamed at her multiple times even though she was right... yet his wife still _forgave_ him. His Cora was pregnant with _their_ child when he demanded Jane stayed under the same roof as them. She was stressing so much that he almost caused her to miscarry their child. He didn't only put Cora through so much pain, he also put their unborn little baby in danger.

Cora kept on fighting to keep the little one alive even when Robert allowed Jane to stay in their home and even when she fell down the stairs. Cora kept fighting to keep _their_ baby alive and even when she fell down the stairs, (not her fault, but Robert's because his ex-mistress was obsessed with him) Cora once again blamed herself and sought for his _forgiveness_ and _compassion_. Cora was extra careful with the baths and she tried to prevent every little thing that could endanger _his_ child.

 _And this is how I thanked her? How could I be so blind?_

He only caused them pain. He hurt his Cora and the baby so badly. The only thing he gave and offered them was...

 _Pain..._

 _Agony..._

 _Discomfort..._

 _Misery..._

... but his lovely and lively Cora still truly loved him.

Robert was disgusted, embarrassed and disappointed in himself. He took her for granted all these years. His thoughts were getting out of control and he could feel an anger directed toward himself building up.

In that moment, the big wooden door fluttered open and Rosamund stormed inside the library. She stopped in the middle of the room, looking at both Robert and Violet.

"Is everything over yet?" Violet jumped onto her feet when she saw her daughter.

Robert turned around and faced Rosamund. She wore that worried face that he knew very well what it meant.

"Is she...?" That was the only thing Robert managed to muttered while his guilt ate him.

"Cora's body and the baby are not cooperating. It seems there are some complications. Dr. Clarkson mentioned a breach. She hasn't given birth in years, so her body is not used to the strain. If it continues like this, there's a chance that one of them might not survive. " Rosamund shook her head. Her emerald green eyes were on the edge of the tears, but she was trying to stay strong for the sake of her brother and the family. "There isn't much that we can do." Rosamund's lips showed how terrified she was. The loss of Cora and the baby would be devastating to all of them.

Robert leaned against the table for the support. His knees went weak and he couldn't feel the lower part of the body. He feared this would happen. Especially now when he realised how wrong he was. How badly he had treated his precious wife and child.

Without thinking Robert took off his suit jacket and tie that was around his neck, tossing it on the red sofa in front of him. He instantly rolled the sleeves of his white shirt up. Cold sweat was forming onto his back and forehead. His heart was thumping inside his chest like it would jump out of it.

"I feared this..." He spoke, looking overwhelmed and utterly frightened. He didn't believe Cora when she said that pregnancy at her age was indeed dangerous. "I can't lose her." His voice broke and he deeply inhaled when he thought how selfish he was. Instead of getting a new addition in their family he could lose two of them in one night. "I can't lose _them_." He looked over at Rosamund, knowing she couldn't help him. The only thing they could do was to sit and hope that fate would be kind.

Seeing her brother that way moved Rosamund. She had never seen him like this in her whole life and it deeply terrified her.

"I'm going upstairs..." He decided, and eyed his mother who was beginning to protest but he cut her off. "... and I don't care about the rules!" He shouted loudly, cutting her off, and he exited the library.

* * *

Robert went upstairs to find Clarkson leaning against the closed bedroom door. He could see on doctor's face that Clarkson was exhausted too. His silver hair was messy and his white shirt rumpled. He had his hands crossed over his chest and his usually bright eyes were dull, wandering aimlessly in the empty space in front of him.

"Clarkson..." Robert muttered, slowly getting his attention.

"May I have a word with you, Milord." Clarkson asked calmly. His voice was relaxed, but his hands were shaking.

Robert leaned against the wall, breathing heavily. He was searching for oxygen. "Why is she in such bad condition? I remember that Sybil's birth was painful, but never to this level!" Robert felt anger running through his veins. He wanted to break the wall with his fists, but he had to stay calm because of Cora. "You said there wouldn't be any complications!" Robert's voice cracked.

"I know, but her body isn't cooperating the way it should. She is quite a bit older from when she last gave birth." Clarkson took a deep breath before continuing to speak again. "Also, the baby is trying to come out feet-first. That's the biggest issue. We need it to turn, because coming out feet first could cause the baby's head to become stuck in the-"

"And there's nothing you can do?!" Robert shouted out loudly, cutting him off. He had completely lost his temper.

"Her contractions are very painful and she can't bear pain any longer. She's becoming weaker and weaker with each one. She's on the edge of her strength. The baby shows no signs of turning." Clarkson tried to explain Robert how serious Cora's condition was and what was blocking the birth.

"Please tell me there's something we can do!" Robert begged him. His voice was desperate and he felt tears building up in his eyes. "I can't lose _them_!"

"We can try to turn the baby with forceps, but it will be very difficult and take some time. It's possible she won't have any more strength to go through that..." The doctor headed towards the door, ready to enter the bedroom. "... and if we don't succeed, unfortunately you'll have to choose and make a decision on your own. We can try to perform c-section, but I'm not very familiar with that, besides it's very dangerous. With c-section we could save or destroy both of them, and there won't be any going back..." Clarkson deeply inhaled, trying to find some air. "... or we can play it safe and ensure the survival of only one of them. You'll have to choose between your wife and your baby." Clarkson pulled the doorknob and vanished from the hallway, leaving Robert alone to think.

Robert was taken aback. He couldn't believe her condition was that serious. With c-section they could save or kill both Cora and the baby... or he had to choose and decide on his own to save only one of them.

' _You'll have to choose'_ still rang inside Robert's head. He had never felt this kind of burden and fear... He never felt this powerless! Robert couldn't choose between them. His emotions were mixed and he was scared.

If he saved Cora, she would be crushed. He didn't think she could survive losing another baby after fighting for it so long. And he didn't think that he could bear to watch her suffer like that again. And if he saved the baby, he couldn't raise it on his own. The baby needed a mother and nobody could ever replace Cora. With c-section, he might lose them both. There was no way he could handle that.

 _'What to do?'_ Robert quizzed himself while his fingers went through his hair. He hoped that Cora would be able to deliver their baby with the forceps because he wasn't able to choose between them. He could change so many lives just by one decision and Robert wasn't ready for that.


	24. Lovely Blue

_**A/N:** First of all: words simply aren't enough to express my gratitude and thanks for all the support you have given to all my stories. I'm moved and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. _

_Secondly: I'm sorry about the delay, but the wait will pay off. I'm not an expert at this, but I gave my best._

 _Answer to Anon about naming my story: actually there are many reasons why I've named it that way, but here's one of them. At the beginning 'Forgotten Body' represented Cora while Robert had an 'affair' with Jane, but throughout the story some things had changed and somebody else became completely forgotten._

 _Now, it's time to read..._

* * *

 ** _CHAPTER XXIV_**

 ** _Lovely Blue_**

He entered his bedroom, accompanied by Rosamund. The picture was disturbing, but nothing had been lost yet.

Clarkson had done everything that was in his power. He tried to turn the baby with the forceps, but the pain became unbearable and Cora begged him to stop. She couldn't bear the pain any longer. Clarkson hoped that the baby would end up cooperating and that Cora would be able to deliver it naturally. Otherwise the future wouldn't be beautiful at all.

Robert found Cora curled up against the headboard of their bed, breathing routinely under Martha's instructions. The white linen sheets she had once embroidered were wrapped around her weak figure and she was in terrible pain, looking drained and trying hard to be strong for her husband's sake. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and her hands were clutching Martha's, who looked pleadingly at Robert as he walked closer to the bed.

But as soon as he sat by her side, taking Martha's place, Cora's tired sapphire eyes opened to see him.

Robert smiled gently, taking one of his wife's hands. She squeezed it hard when another wave of pain took over her body. An inevitable moan escaped her lips as her body curled up again.

 _It hurt_... It hurt seeing his wife like that. Her sweaty hand was squeezing Robert's, trying hard to lessen her pain.

Cora was terrified. The little soul within her was too. Their unborn baby's soul felt just as overwhelmed as Robert's. The little one was afraid of Cora suffering, afraid of what was happening around and afraid of the situation it would be born into.

"I think she's ready." Clarkson announced, washing his hands in a bowl of warm water that one of the nurses held in her hands. He took his place at the end of the bed, preparing new sheets and fresh towels. He really hoped that both lives would be saved, but he couldn't be sure.

Rosamund helped Cora lay down in her bed, fixing a few feather pillows behind her head. Rosamund took a place on the other side of the bed, opposite Robert. To be quite honest, even in this stressful situation Rosamund felt an odd pang of surprised pleasure. She had never seen this side of Cora and Robert's love. If someone told her that her _brother, (_ who had absolutely no capacity for blood or "female problems"), would assistant the birth of a child, she would have laughed. Yet here it was happening.

Martha was standing behind her son-in-law. One of her hands was moving soothingly across Robert's back, trying hard to calm him. Martha was softly crying, but she tried not to let anyone notice, especially not Cora. If her daughter saw her crying, she would instantly know that something was horribly wrong and Cora really didn't need any more of that.

Cora was afraid of the pain that would hit her soon, but she was also glad that Robert was by her side. He gave her energy and courage. It was unusual for him to be present in this kind of situations, but she was happy that he swallowed his discomfort and stood by her side. Firstly, she thought that he would faint, but still he remained strong for her.

Cora turned her head and looked at Robert with teary blue eyes. He felt that his heart would explode inside his chest when he saw how uncomfortable she was. Her pain and misery slowly tore Robert apart. He had to do something... He must make this somehow easier for her.

"You and I can do this. Let's work together, alright?" Robert whispered to her with a half smile. "Do you trust me Cora?"

Tired and lightheaded, Cora gave a soft nod and she felt Robert's arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her a little closer to him. She only managed to wrap her arms around his shoulders, resting her forehead in the crook of his neck. Cora felt Clarkson carefully push her knees apart, spreading her legs one more time.

Robert felt her breathing hard, struggling in pain. Her heart was fearfully bumping inside her chest and her fragile body fit in Robert's strong hands. "My love..." He softly whispered. "Take a deep breath and push as hard as you can."

An intense wave of pain washed over her and Cora squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to focus on her task and Robert's request. Gathering the little strength she had left, she sharply breathed in and pushed at the encouraging words of her husband.

"Good job..." Robert softly stroke her soft, but sweaty caramel hair while her nails dug into his back. Her weak arms tightly squeezed Robert's shoulders and back. The pain was unimaginable.

She could feel his warm breath tickling the skin of her face as he whispered words of comfort until she felt herself losing it. Clarkson instructed her to rest when he heard her moans of pain. Cora didn't have any more strength to keep her arms around Robert, so she collapsed back onto the bed.

Robert looked at his exhausted wife. He had feared this would happen. Clarkson told him that after turning the baby she wouldn't have any more strength. Cora was too weak to do anything with her body and he had just witnessed that very thing. Robert swallowed hard, not knowing what to do. He must think of something... and fast.

He tenderly cupped her face, his fingers tangled in the dampened strands of her beautiful caramel hair. Her exhausted eyes were tightly shut as she fought a new pain that spread rapidly through her weak body. Cora was breathing hard, searching for more oxygen.

"I want you to scream and cry and yell... and if you want you can even throw plates at me..." Robert shakily added a little humour. "... or anything you want, just try to be strong..." He gently whispered while looking at her pale face, covered with cold sweat.

Cora opened her eyes, trying hard not to weep. "Robert... I can't..." She was so very tired and she wanted it all to be finally over, and he knew...

"I know my darling, but you can do it." Robert encouragingly told her. "You can do anything. Just think about our baby." He pressed his dry lips on her wet forehead, planting a desperate but soft kiss. "Let's try again. What do you think?" Robert weakly smiled at her, convincing her to try again.

Cora barely opened her eyes and looked at him. She desperately wanted to hold her baby more than anything on this world. Cora lightly nodded her head in agreement and intertwined her fingers with his, feeling growing pain inside her body.

"Breath..." Clarkson instructed her and again Cora deeply inhaled one more time.

"Push..." Robert softly whispered into her ear.

And she did as she was told. All her strength, all her emotions focused on only one thing. It didn't take long, though. Rosamund helped her to lean forward a little bit and then the most agonizing sensation came. A natural cry of pain escaped her throat. She couldn't do it anymore, it was impossible. To Cora everything around her was surreal.

"Don't give up." Rosamund encouraged her with the most pleading gaze possible. "I know that you think you can't bear it any longer, but you're almost done." She read her emotions. "It's coming. You can do this, I promise." Rosamund gave Cora her hand for support.

"One more time, my love. One more time..." Robert spoke softly, almost begging. He feared that she would give up. "Please..."

Cora gasped for air as a wave of pain swept through her body all over again. She couldn't suppress the moans of pain. Cora longed for it to be over, to be able to hold her little baby. She pulled her last strength from the heavens and pushed one more time. Robert's whispers of encouragement suddenly stopped when Clarkson's voice echoed through the room.

"It's almost here." Clarkson said with a hint of happiness. "Push once more and it will come out, I promise."

A gleaming smile and sense of thrilling emotions enveloped Robert when he sensed what was about to happen. Their baby was coming.

One final time, Cora did as she was told. She clenched both Robert and Rosamund's hands and a second later she instinctively pushed down, crying out as the onslaught of throbbing pain buckled down on her. Cora felt the life she housed for eight months leave her body at last. Completely fatigued and sore, Cora collapsed against the mattress and received a quick, almost unnoticeable kiss from Robert on the top of her head. Rosamund immediately brought a cold cloth onto her forehead, removing sweat drops.

"You did it." Robert happily whispered and kissed her knuckles. "Cora, you did it."

And the most beautiful, tiny cry broke the silence.

The emotions were so strong that Cora wept at the moving sound and the relief she had from finishing. _She did it!_ The baby's weak whimpers filled the air like the most perfect melody.

Robert instantly stood up, slowly heading towards Martha. A nurse quickly washed the little one with a warm cloth and wrapped it in a cozy blanket and handed the baby to Martha. Robert was so happy and proud of his wife. He was also curious and impatient. He wanted to see their newborn baby and bring it to his Cora.

Robert walked across the room in pure wonder and excitement as he watched little, tiny bundle of joy in Martha's arms. The little one stopped cry as soon as nurse protected it with soft white blanket.

"Your baby..." Martha spoke softly through happily sobs. Her eyes didn't take a look away from her new grandchild. She didn't try to hide her tears any longer and just let them roll down her face in pure happiness and joy.

Martha carefully put the baby in Robert's strong arms. He was finally holding their baby after such a long time. _Their_ baby was finally in his arms shielded from the rest of the world.

He gazed in awe at that little life he crated with Cora. Under the dim light of the lamps in their room Robert was holding the most beautiful little being on earth. He slowly started walking towards their bed. An overwhelming sense of happiness enveloped him, a happiness that made tears of pure joy flow down his face. _His Cora had given him a baby!_

Rosamund helped Cora to lean against the headboard, carefully placing pillows behind her back to lessen the pain. Her big tired blue eyes gazed over at Robert, patiently waiting to see her baby. Robert gently sat next to his darling wife with the tiny miracle in his hands.

"Meet _our baby_ , darling." Robert whispered in awe as he carefully put his palm under the baby's vulnerable head and placed his wriggling child in Cora's arms. "... _our son._ " He repeated with big smile and a few round, salty tears slipped from his spellbinding blue eyes.

As Cora looked over at her son she immediately forgot about all the pain she had felt a few moments earlier. That pain couldn't compare to the joy she was feeling while holding her baby inside her hands for the first time.

Cora looked at her son still not believing what was happening in that very moment. She didn't even blink, tears just started forming in her eyes and she smiled heartily. His tiny fingers were curled into fists as he squirmed in her hands. He was so small and perfect in every way. Her little baby had the cutest nose and most beautiful cherry lips. His long beautiful lashes blinked, trying hard to adjust to the light of the new day... and hidden under those long lashes were the most stunning _sapphire_ eyes.

As Cora looked at the little boy in her arms it felt like she was looking straight in the mirror. He was a pure reflection of her. And as she had so much wanted to do, Cora delicately brushed her lips on her son's tiny forehead, leaving there the tenderest of all kisses.

Robert put one of his palms under his son's little head and with his thumb he carefully brushed his thick layer of soft hair.

Cora gathered the tiny bundle in her arms. "He's completely flawless." Cora weakly smiled at her baby. They sat in silence admiring their newborn son.

The baby looked around, taking in the world that surrounded him. His big sapphire eyes focused on the same coloured pair of eyes right in front of him. The baby yawned, deciding it was enough work for one day. He extended his little, tiny hand reaching out to his mother.

Cora's heart melted at her son's yawn and little movements he performed with his hands. The baby wrapped his tiny fist around Cora's forefinger. Her finger looked enormous in compare with his little digits. His long eyelashes closed over his bright blue eyes and he drifted away in his sleep.

"He looks just like you and you've given him the most beautiful eyes." Robert lovely whispered into her ear and he softly kissed her temple. " _Thank you Cora_." Robert's hand was still under the baby's tiny head and he gently touched his son's cheekbones with his thumb. His skin was so smooth and delicate, but fragile as a paper.

Cora slowly turned her head and looked at her husband's face. His dark blue eyes were slightly red and his cheeks wet, but at the end they did it... _together_. If he wasn't there to help her probably none of them would be alive.

"Oh, Robert..." She gently whispered to him, swallowing back the tears.

She instantly received another tender kiss from Robert on her wet forehead. "You really have no idea how much I love you." His lips slowly touched her pale skin as he murmured against her forehead. "I was such a silly fool." His other arm went to caress her head while with the other he cradled their child in her arms.

She weakly smiled under his kiss, understanding his words. He had finally come to his senses.

She fixed her gaze on her son again who peacefully slept in her tight embrace, feeling safe and secure inside his mommy's closeness. She slowly brought her forefinger to her cherry lips and kissed his little fingers that were still tightly wrapped around it.

 _Will_ was the littlest, most beautiful bundle of joy in the whole world.

* * *

 _Oh, lovely blue eyes. Finally, Will's here after long and troubled journey. I think some of you probably had a heart attack while waiting for an update so let me know what you think. In the next updates we'll see a little bit more of this little butterfly._

 _And if you want to adventure with another crazy story, take a look at_ ** _'_ Unsinkable Glory _'_** _and let me know what you think about it. (_ **Warning** _\- the storyline will be even crazier than this one.)._

 _Oh, and ps. yesterday was my birthday too *giggles* :D_


	25. Love and Compassion

_Many thanks again for all the lovely reviews on the last chapter._

 _Also, this chapter is dedicated to dear Zaibi as my present to her. I'm horrible at choosing gifts so what's possibly better than a little Cobert fluff.(:_

 _To all my German readers who support me through kind reviews and PM messages; Ich danke allen die mir die Möglichkeit gegeben haben und allen die es gelesen haben was ich geschrieben habe. Das bedeutet viel. Ich kann es nicht in Worte fassen. Ich danke Ihnen aus tiefstem Herzen und ich liebe euch alle._

 _To all my Croatian, Serbian, BiH and some Slovenian readers who may understand; Htijela bih se zahvaliti svima onima koji su mi dali priliku i pročitali ono što sam napisala. To mi znači uistinu mnogo. Ja nemogu staviti svoju zahvalnost u riječi. Hvala vam još jednom iz dubine duše. Volim vas sve._

* * *

 **CHAPTER XXV**

 ** _Love and Compassion_**

A sense of peaceful joy resided in the environment. The wind stopped hurling cold snowflakes at the windowpanes and the only thing that could be heard was fire crackling. Grey coloured clouds were beautifully decorating the sky of Downton, preparing it for the early hours of the fresh winter morning.

To Robert, everything was still surreal and it felt like one of those strange story endings one could hardly picture happening in real life.

Robert sat by the large window in their peaceful bedroom. The tall glass window beside him was slightly frozen from the cold harsh weather outside, but to Robert, it was the most beautiful day of the 20th century.

That magnificent feeling of finally having his son in his arms was heartwarming. _So small, innocent, vulnerable and perfect... Just like his mother._

William was the fourth and youngest of his children. Will reminded him so much of Sybil when she was the baby. Both of them were a pure copy of their mother. Adorable full cherry lips, extremely long black lashes, spellbinding coloured eyes, tiny little nose and perfect ivory skin... but the hair... both of them had inherited his dark hair. Everything he loved about Cora was in his son, he was pure perfection.

Will was extremely beautiful. Not that being his father made him biased... _alright, maybe a little..._ but he was truly was the most beautiful baby Robert had ever seen.

Robert took special time to admire him during that moment they were alone because he knew that later it would be impossible to be alone with his son. His grandmothers would occupy him immediately... especially Cora's mother. Martha always had a soft spot for young children, unlike his mother, Violet.

The baby was slowly trying to open his eyes. Robert knew he was trying hard to take a peek at him through the veil of his long lashes with those stunning sapphire eyes, but seeing that he was a newborn baby, it was a little difficult for Will to keep his eyes open.

Robert softly tickled his little button nose and he wrinkled it in return.

 _What a joy! He was adorable!_

Robert totally forgot how it felt to be a father to a newborn. It felt like ages since the last time he held his daughter Sybil, like this. And all this felt like déjà vu since they were so similar.

Being unable to restrain himself, he planted a kiss on William's little forehead once again as he had done more than ten times before. His tiny fingers brushed his face as if acknowledging the kiss.

Will knew who Robert was; he recognised the sound of his voice and his heart beamed in happiness at his closeness ever since he was inside his mother, but now that he had been born, William had finally captured the image of his father in his mind. He loved him, and he loved Cora too.

Robert's eyes were filled with gentle tenderness. Their baby was so like Cora and him in so many ways, _yet different too_... But those differences didn't matter because to him, William was pure perfection and he loved his little one terribly.

Robert tilted his head down to nuzzle his tiny forehead. He could swear that no baby on earth was this charming. He was as sweet as sugar and enchanting as cinnamon on Christmas Eve. It was definitely something he inherited from Cora.

Slowly, Robert turned his head and gazed over at their bed.

His _life_ , his _Cora_ was fast asleep under fresh creamy feathered bedcovers Rosamund had changed after the birth. The new blankets and pillows smelled like lavender and it spread around the room, sending gentle waves of calmness.

His Cora was completely drained and utterly exhausted. Since she fell asleep, and it was almost immediately after their son's birth, she was in the same position. She hadn't moved the whole night. Her chest was swiftly rising and falling, her eyelids closed over her diamond eyes.

Just the thought of losing her a few hours ago made Robert shiver. The thought of losing her forever had trapped Robert. He felt weak and useless at the idea of not being able to have her by his side.

But Cora had chosen to risk her life to bring their son into the world and she had succeeded. Now when Robert remembered a few past months and how close they were to losing this tiny miracle in his hands, he couldn't help but blame himself. He felt like such a fool for putting them through so much pain.

Slowly, Robert walked towards their bed and as the baby began to stir in his arms, he sat right next to his sleepy Cora.

He observed her for a second and then the little one in his arms. They were both extremely beautiful, and even though the birth had drained her completely, his wife looked stunning under the soft light of the new day that just dawned.

The idea of having a son who looked like Cora immediately brought a smile to his lips. He could already picture William running around the house in pure wonder and excitement.

Intending to wake Cora up, Robert reached to caress her face with the back of his fingers. She shifted slightly under his touch. Her eyelids gently fluttered open, but then they closed again. He leaned over to kiss her forehead and Cora softly opened her eyes again. She blinked a few times, still sleepy. Even though she was sore and tired, Cora managed to smile when she caught a glimpse of the tiny bundle of love Robert was holding in his arms.

It took her a moment to gather the strength she needed to speak.

"I'm feeling awful." Cora softly whispered, amused nonetheless.

Robert chuckled. "I know, but you were great. I'm very proud of you." He warmly smiled, nuzzling her nose as he placed their baby on her chest. Cora immediately cradled William with tender care.

"Is he alright?" She lovely looked at the little one in her arms and she gently brushed his layer of soft dark hair with her slender fingers. He looked like a porcelain doll with bright blue eyes, ivory skin and dark hair. Cora couldn't believe that this child was hers. The life she had created with someone she deeply loved.

"Don't worry, Clarkson examined him and he's just splendid." Robert whispered softly reaching out and taking Will's little fist, showing Cora his fragile tiny fingers. "Ten fingers, ten toes, developed lungs."

She smiled, knowing her baby was alright. Robert helped her into a sitting position, propping a few pillows behind her back. "Don't sit up completely or you'll regret it."

"Trust me, I know." Cora laughed softly and with curiosity she looked at her child.

"When I saw Sybil for the first time, I was impressed because she looked so much like you. But when I look at Will, I'm speechless." Robert murmured softly into her ear.

" _Mini me_." Cora whispered and happily smiled at her own words. She cradled him inside her arms, still in awe. It was her son, her very own son. "It's so... bizarre, isn't it?"

"It really is." Robert agreed with her. They didn't expect him this early. It had all happened overnight and no one was truly prepared for that.

Cora turned to look at him. Her eyes shone with utter happiness. "Robert..." She gently whispered, trapped in a deep sense of bewilderment. "... We have a baby."

He smiled, his eyes glistening too. The emotions flowing inside him were strong. " _Thank you_ ," He whispered. "For giving him to me... after everything I had done." Softly, he leaned to press his lips against hers.

"Thank you for surviving it." Cora chuckled, giving him a little peck on the lips back. Robert shook his head, amused.

"I don't know what would I do without you. If I had to choose..." His voice shivered at the thought of losing her and this tiny miracle in her arms. He kissed her forehead and caressed her soft hair, admiring his wife's beauty. She truly was his everything. Not Jane, not anyone else... but Cora.

"We were both fine in the end." Cora avoided the subject, gently caressing her son's smooth skin under her fingertips. She didn't want to recall those unpleasant memories.

She allowed herself to rest on her husband and they peacefully gazed at their son. The baby was indeed precious in every way, and he was theirs... truly theirs. It was easy to admire the little one they had both created out of providence.

Absolutely unaware who he was and how adored he was by his parents, Will stirred a little. In that moment he complained with a weak whimper, triggering more of his parents' attention.

"I believe he is hungry." Robert smiled a little.

"Hasn't he eaten anything?" Cora's face softened.

"Rosamund and I tried to feed him, but he refused everything..." Robert said and stared at his wife. "We didn't want to wake you up."

"He's demanding..." Cora lovely smiled and moved her hands to undo the ribbon of her nightgown.

"It seems that Mother Nature's rules never change when it comes to motherhood." Robert laughed, burying his face in her caramel hair.

Cora giggled. "Alright, let's try this." She cradled the baby closer to her chest and little William snuggled in with no hesitancy. A minute later, in the cozy embrace of his mother, the little one latched on, nursing almost instantly.

Cora looked down tenderly at the little one in her arms, the one that made her a mother once again. The baby slowly nudged Cora with his little fingers, enjoying the tight closeness of his mommy. "It's so strange." She watched him nurse in awe.

"I think it's beautiful." Robert gazed tenderly at the image of his wife and newborn son. It was something he would keep in his memory forever. They were both so calm and adorable. He couldn't take his eyes off them.

Robert leaned his head against the headboard, closing his blue eyes. "I can't believe I'm going to say this..." He tenderly patted Cora's leg. "... but I'm tired."

"And I'm voluptuous." She raised her eyebrows.

Robert opened his eyes at her last comment and added a smirk. "You're being naughty."

Cora giggled, suddenly arranging William who had fallen asleep while nursing. "He's asleep." Cora gently whispered and started rearranging her nightgown as Robert laid back in bed, slowly drifting away in his sleep.

Cora snuggled against her husband with her baby cradled on her chest. William's tiny head was right above her heart, hearing his mother's steady heartbeat that made him calm. He was listening to the same familiar heartbeat he had listened all this eight months, but this time from the outside.

 _Mini me_... She warmly smiled, closing her eyes and putting her gentle palm on her little son's back. Not noticing it, Cora yawned and gave up as well, falling into the most wonderful dream.

* * *

 ** _A/N (important)_** _: Chapter XXV is over and there is still one more chapter left until I end this story. So, if there is a question you have about Forgotten Body, go ahead and post it in your review. Then, after I upload the last chapter, I'll do an Author's Note with as many answers I can reasonably fit in. So, if you have ever wondered why any of the characters did what they did or what they thought, or have a question about why I wrote something the way I did, now is time to ask._

 _And even if you don't have any question, please leave a review._


	26. Here In Your Arms

_**A/N : Four months after it all began, here it is - the Forgotten Body's last chapter! Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed this story, stuck with me since May. Can you believe that? I hope you all have enjoyed reading this story as much as I have enjoyed writing it. As usual, I have a lot to say and a lot of people to thank, but I will post a separate Author's Note so as not to take up pages and pages of this chapter with stuff that's not directly related to the end of the story. I would encourage you to read the AN, though, as it will include some answers and other potentially interesting info!**_

* * *

 **CHAPTER XXVI**

 _ **Here In Your Arms**_

 **December; New Year's Eve**

The midnight was slowly approaching and the Crawley home was filled with peaceful silence, but also with a lot of underlying suspense and excitement flowing through the air.

To Cora's pleasant surprise, she didn't even need a nanny to take care of her son when she couldn't. Everyone gladly offered to pitch in and take care of the little one when Cora needed a break, but another surprise was that William was a very calm baby. He didn't cry until it was really necessary.

Cora spent the bulk of her first days with her son just admiring him. As the years had passed by Cora had forgetten how it felt to be a mother again. Each of the girls had grown up and had their own life. Cora didn't need to monitor them twenty four hours a day, so being a mother to a newborn baby again turned her life upside down. She was still struggling to accept the fact that he was hers. Will was a puzzle and a miracle to all of them. He had come out of nowhere and changed their lives just like that.

All the time spent with Will brought a series of haunting questions to her mind. What would've happened if she had lost him? What would've happened with Jane and Robert? In which direction would their story have gone? What would've happened with their marriage? Would Robert ever have realised that what he had done was wrong?

So many questions and answers, but almost all of them disappeared into thin air when this tiny human being was born.

Cora was sitting in the drawing room with the rest of her family. They still had left about six hours left until midnight.

She turned her head and gazed at the sofa. The picture she saw there was so heartwarming and precious, it brought a huge smile to her face. Sybil was carefully holding her little brother, accompanied by Martha and Violet on either side.

Cora was feeling proud, confident, brave and truly happy after all these years. After struggling to keep him all these months she had finally achieved her desire and gave Robert a son and an heir to Downton. The little boy also brought the softer and nicer side out of Violet. She had shown a new personality ever since he was born, and when she thought no one was looking she was the sweetest and most patient with her grandchild.

Cora also remembered Sybil meeting her brother for the first time. When she found out that she was finally an older sister, she practically burst of happiness. " _You all should listen me more often._ " Cora recalled Sybil proudly commenting while looking lovingly at her baby brother. Of course that would be the first thing Sybil said.

"Careful, Sybil darling." Martha worriedly said, protectively watching over her new grandchild. "You can't hold him like this." She fixed Sybil's arm a little bit to make the baby more comfortable in her hands.

William's bright blue eyes were fixed on Sybil as he closely looked at her. He was amused by all the new faces and different voices around him. He carefully looked at her lips while they were moving as she talked. That truly fascinated him. Her voice was like velvet and a perfect melody to fall asleep to. He was trying to stay awake, he really was, but it was impossible because of her soft voice. Will loved when she sang to him, her voice was so soothing, just like his mother's.

"I know how to hold him." Sybil confidently said, gently tickling his nose with her fingers. He instantly wrinkled it and sneezed sweetly. Sybil loved doing that to him, teasing him softly. This was the first time Sybil could spend so much of her free time with a baby, and she loved it because he was so entertaining and adorable.

" _Little Levinson_. He looks just like Cora..." Martha commented aloud and her eyes softened with overwhelming emotions. Martha's heart ached again at the thought of leaving him in England, but she managed to smile optimistically. It was far nicer to focus on the beautiful present than the unavoidable, distressing future.

Violet froze at her last sentence and her eyes widened in disbelief at Martha's words. _Levinson? Dear Lord, what's next.._.

Mary, Rosamund and Cora exchanged amused looks, knowing what was happening and what Violet was thinking. All three of them were fighting hard to avoid bursting into laughter. Violet's facial expressions were just priceless. She was always so conservative. It was a show to have Violet and Martha in the same room together. Those two always promised good entertainment.

" _Little American_." Martha spoke up again and her lovely voice echoed through the room and reached Violet's ears.

 _American?_ Her face turned white and she inhaled deeply."Good God, have mercy." Violet murmured to herself as she took as sip of cold water, and for the first time in her life she wished that instead of water there was something stronger.

Mary, Rosamund and Cora couldn't help but laugh softly at Violet's performance. She was a grown woman acting in a childish way.

The minutes flew by when Will was entertaining all of them. In the past few days the laughter and happiness were the only things that weren't lack in the Crawley home. He was an unimaginable joy to everyone.

"Time for a nap." Martha tenderly cradled her grandchild and exited the room. She loved spending time with him. It brought her so much happiness, and she didn't look forward to going back to America. It would be very hard to say goodbye to such a lovely baby. She was going to miss him terribly.

"Finally, she stopped..." Violet muttered, looking at the closed doors. They sat in silence until Violet spoke once again. "So..." She raised her eyebrows. "Since the baby is born earlier, does that mean that Martha will also go back to America earlier?"

To Violet's surprise, her comment didn't receive any annoyed looks or unwanted retorts. On the contrary, everyone shared a laugh and Violet uncomfortably rolled her eyes.

* * *

In the calmness of William's nursery Cora silently stood beside his crib and gazed at her precious angel. She caressed his rosy chubby cheeks with the back of her hand and played with his little fingers while he soundly slept. It was one of her favourite habits. She had done that with the girls too, how could she possibly resist it?

Cora remembered the first few weeks of her last pregnancy. She was scared and she didn't want to get attached to the baby at the first place, being utterly frightened that something bad might happened. And Robert wasn't there, she was alone and on her own. Cora didn't know that she could love somebody that much again after miscarrying her son. She thought it would be impossible.

She recalled a memory from a few months ago. Cora was deathly afraid of baths after her horrible experience, and she was even more reluctant to bathe when she had been pregnant with Will. Cora remembered and instance when she had been lying in the cooled water, refusing to get out of the bathtub. O'Brien tried to convince her that everything would be fine, but she didn't listen. At the end Sarah had to call Robert to assure his wife that nothing bad would happen to her or the baby. Robert slowly gave her support and courage to carefully step out. He even put his suit jacket onto the floor so Cora could step on it without fear of slipping.

Cora carefully examined each of her baby's fragile fingers. They were so little, and his tiny nails were just so adorable. Indeed, he was her fighter. For somebody so little, he had already gone through a lot of things. Cora just wanted to snuggle with him and play with him, and do all the things she missed with her daughters grown.

Hearing the door slowly opening, Cora turned her head.

"Cora..." Robert's velvet voice whispered, not wanting to wake up the little one. "We have to start getting ready."

"I know." Cora replied, though she made no effort to move. Instead she focused her attention on her son and continued to lovingly gaze at him.

Robert warmly smiled at the sight. He knew exactly how she was feeling and what she was thinking. His wife was so fascinated by that little life, she just couldn't separate from him. He was sure that if she could, Cora would stay in Will's room the whole day, just to look at his pure face. Every free minute Cora had, she spent with her son. The little one brought so much joy and happiness into their lives.

Robert took a few steps towards her. He wrapped his arms around his wife, resting his chin gently on Cora's shoulder.

"He's so perfect, Robert. I can't stop looking at him, I physically can't. It's impossible." Cora lovingly whispered while Robert's arms embraced her even tighter.

Robert slowly tilted his head to kiss Cora lightly on the cheek. "Unfortunately, you're going to have to though, because our guests will be here soon, and then the rest of the family will come and we have to keep them entertained until midnight."

Cora disappointedly sighed at Robert's sentence. That was the worst punishment possible to her; being separated from her baby. If Robert didn't come, she would continue to stare at Will the whole night and probably forgot about the party they were hosting.

Cora gently leaned forward and pressed her soft lips against William's tiny forehead; her hand carefully caressing his dark hair and porcelain skin. She left there the sweetest kiss, promising him that she would come back as soon as possible.

She once again sadly sighed when she felt Robert's arms wandering on her back, giving her a signal to hurry up. Cora turned her head again to catch one last glimpse at the little one while Robert led her out of the room, closing the door quietly behind them.

* * *

Their home started to fill with more and more guests, friends and family. It seemed that everyone had a good time joking and gossiping. Once again, Cora didn't fail to make New Year memorable with her party.

Isobel approached the married couple and kissed Cora on the cheek, greeting her warmly. "Where is William?" She curiously asked. Even though she wasn't his grandmother, she had grown quite close with the little charmer. Isobel loved to spend time with him too. She slightly envied Violet and Martha for having such an adorable grandchild.

"He's upstairs... _sleeping_." Cora answered pointedly. "So we have to try not to be too loud."

Isobel slightly chuckled. "Good luck with that."

Three hours later, six bottles of wine had been emptied. It seemed that the guests had had a great time. Mary and Matthew were talking privately somewhere in the corner of the room. Violet and Isobel were teasing each other as usual. Edith and Martha performed and kept the guests entertained, and Sybil and Rosamund were gossiping and joking with God knows who.

It was five minutes to midnight when Cora decided that it was the optimal time for her to sneak away. She exited the room successfully unnoticed and headed upstairs.

When she opened the door to William's room, she saw a very interesting scene. It seemed that Cora wasn't the only one who had decided it was time to leave the party.

"What are you doing here?" Robert curiously asked, looking up at Cora from the armchair he and William were seated on.

"I could ask you the same question." Cora replied, raising her eyebrows.

"He was crying!" Robert said defensively while he cradled Will in his arms.

"No, he wasn't." Cora snorted and started walking towards them. They looked adorable together. Robert's strong arms were carefully cradling their son with tender care. It was magical. When she reached them Cora squeezed in next to Robert on the armchair.

"Alright, he wasn't..." Robert finally admitted. "But he was awake when I came in, and he looked like he needed a cuddle from papa."

Cora's eyes sparkled at the image of her husband and their son. She nestled her head onto Robert's shoulder, smiling brightly down at William, who curiously looked up at her in response.

"What's the damage down there?" Robert asked softly chuckling, while he rested his head on top of Cora's.

"I'll be surprised if they're all alive in the morning." Cora sarcastically said. "So really, nothing new."

Cora felt Robert smile. She closed her eyes, enjoying Robert's closeness. She was tired. It was hard to get used to this new life with the baby, and all the night shifts they had to balance with their everyday life and obligations. Cora relaxed and was about to fall asleep when Robert gently nudged her.

"Cora, it's midnight." Robert whispered in her ear.

She shook gently, looking up at the clock on William's wall and saw that both hands were on the 12.

"It really is." Cora tiredly smiled. "Happy New Year, Robert."

In response he gave her a warm smile. "Happy New Year, darling, and a happy new life to us."

They smiled softly at each other and their lips came together in an emotionally charged kiss. Cora leaned forward, capturing Robert's upper lip between her own, bringing up a hand to cup his cheek. Robert was warm and his lips tasted like wine. When Cora broke the kiss, Robert leaned his forehead against hers. He looked her straight into her blue eyes. They were bright, round and filled with nothing but true love, and Robert gazed at her with exactly the same look. Between them, Will stirred a little and let out a weak whimper, calling for their attention. Both of them couldn't help but softly giggle.

"I think it's time for bed." Cora carefully took the baby out of Robert's arms and William immediately stopped fussing when she cradled him close to her. He felt safe and secure in her tight embrace.

They stood up and walked towards Will's crib. Cora leaned down to place a kiss on his forehead. "Night, night." She softly whispered as he let out a tiny yawn. Cora placed him in the crib and Robert covered him with the warm blanket. Will was already asleep when they left the room.

"Do we have to go back downstairs?" Cora asked begrudgingly as she closed the door softly behind her.

"Absolutely not, my love." Robert warmly said, and he began planting kisses along Cora's jawline as he guided them down the hall into their bedroom. "I can think of a _much_ better way to ring the New Year."

"I'll toast to that." She said and that was exactly what they did.

 _ **Das Ende.**_

 _ **So this is it, sadly. I hope you enjoyed and the ending lived up to your expectations.** **Leave a review and let me know. That goes double for those of you who normally read and don't review - here's your** **chance to give me your comments on the entire story all at once. And don't forget to read the Author's Note that will be posted soon as Chapter 27 - it will be including information that may be of interest!**_


	27. Author's Note

_**AUTHORS NOTE**_

First of all, thank you _**ALL**_ for tolerating me and putting up with my crazy, corny ideas, even when it started with awful grammar mistakes, I learned a lot by writing it. This was my first Downton Abbey story and hopefully not the last one.

I would, of course, like to thank everyone who has read this story! I'm really, truly amazed by the number of hits and views this story has received over the past 4 months. Since this is my first DA fanfiction, I really didn't know what to expect. I just bumped into DA fandom overnight. It was totally unexpected and unpredicted. Needless to say, your support has exceeded even my wildest expectations. **_So thank you ever so much._**

I would like to send an even more special **_THANK YOU_** to everyone who has submitted a review at one time or another throughout this story's run. So, _BIG_ thanks to everybody who took a minute of their precious time to leave a review. I didn't realise this before, but reviews really helped. Just knowing that someone cares enough about my writing to put a comment is a tremendous boost!

And than there are those of you who have become as closely involved with these characters as I have, and really helped me throughout this story run. Some of my readers melted with my characters. You felt their pain, emotions, love, fear, stubbornness, loneliness and much more. I'm glad some of you cried, smiled and laughed with Cora and Robert. I don't even know how to put my thanks into words. And some of your reviews really touched me and made me weep from overwhelming happiness. Thank you!

* * *

 _My biggest thanks goes to these_ _ **kind, lovely, utterly beautiful and truly amazing people**_ _who where with me when I first started posting and stayed all along;_ _ **TheCountessAndTheEnglishLord, Countess of Cobert, CountessRipper**_ _and_ _ **Crawleyfan**_ _\- your support from the very beginning was absolutely crucial, and I thank you for the bottom of my heart._

 _Last, but certainly not the least, I want to thank the ladies who have reviewed my chapters at various times throughout this story run -_ _ **Countess of Gallifrey, CountessCora, puccini66,** and **latifraise.**_

 _I also have the best beta ever. Thank you,_ _ **Gretchie**_ _, for putting up with me through these many months and making Forgotten Body come to life._

To my all ' _guest_ ' or ' _anonymous_ ' reviewers. Also, thank you for leaving a comment even though you don't have an account.

I want to thank my real life friends and all my _tumblr_ friends/followers who read this story! Of course I also have to thank everyone who has ever recommend this story, whether informally to a friend or through some social medias.

Basically, when I stared writing this story I never imagined that I'd become friends with so many lovely people. I'm very glad you were/are a part of my life.

I tried to remember everyone, but I'm sure I've forgotten some very important people. If I didn't mention your contribution, please know that it's only because the brain is an imperfect organ, not because I intended any slight! I truly, deeply appreciate each and every one of you!

* * *

 ** _~ QUICK UPDATE ~_**

I'm always sad to see a story come to an end, but thankfully I don't have to say goodbye to the characters quite yet. As the saying goes, _the road to hell is paved with good intentions_. So, I've been writing a new story for _**Cobert**_ and that's the good news ( _stay tuned for my other fanfic 'Unsinkable Glory' that's already out, so take a look_.). The bad news is that I'm nowhere near done. _What does this mean for Forgotten Body_? Well, the sequel will come, but I can't tell when. I simply need to tie up all my other writing loose ends before I can come back to this series. I do want to thank all of you for support. It means a lot, and I only hope that when I do return _some_ day to write the sequel, you all will still remember the original story.

 _...Thank you! You all made me very happy!_

 _Until we meet again x_

 _Marina_


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